|Reviews for Seigaku Slumber Party|
| Tigerwoman188 chapter 1 . 12/26/2012
That would been awesome OVA episode
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/25/2012
| ObscureLotus chapter 1 . 10/10/2012
HAHAHA, I loved it! :) Especially the parts when Tezuka's all like, "Fuji…don't even thing about it." Ahh, good stuff. :'D
| Fyoex chapter 1 . 2/20/2010
Hehe, loved it!
| mewmewlover23 chapter 1 . 2/8/2010
This was so funny! I loved it!
| reckless-rage chapter 1 . 1/11/2009
Okay, okay, review and run. XD
I thought that overall, the plot of the story was great. You had a great premise for a oneshot, the general feel of the story was really good.
(And, wait for it-)
BUT (here comes the infamous but! XD) I thought the sentences were too choppy for my liking. It seems slightly (emphasize slightly) forced - like the characters were speaking more instead of the author concentrating a tiny bit more on description and such. I also disliked the little (A/Ns you added after some sentences - I honestly think you could've put them at the end of your oneshot as notes on the whole story.
Also personally, I didn't like the way 'sweatdrop' was used in the story. I only find it acceptable in really really crazy crack fics, and in all other fics, *sweatdropping* is plain weird. But I get the gist.
Also...why are you missing punctuation marks i.e. the full stop, or period? QUOTE: “Pillow fight sounds like a good idea Taka-san” Fuji said. END QUOTE Methinks you need a fullstop after Taka-san. This happens multiple times throughout the story, so yeah, something to check into, but nothing majorly serious (unless one is a punctuation geek).
But generally...abrupt shifting of sentences/paragraphs (Fuji gets up to chase Yuuta in the middle of the sleepover? XD I guess?) a tiny bit of OOCness (Oh, but I really wanna see Tezuka whack using pillows XD) but overall the idea for the fic was excellent. XD
| kura-permanenthiatus chapter 1 . 6/3/2008
not bad... just have two comments, i'll skip the rest.
dont write in shortform likek"sleeping bag w/ pillow" because it really breaks the flow of the story. replace w/ with 'with', and the flow will be better.
and i had no idea kawamura called fuji fujiko-chan. I thought eiji did that.
hope my first comment helped
| Blackmelody is Drowning chapter 1 . 2/11/2008
| shiki1696 chapter 1 . 8/15/2007
Oh NOES Yoda-Inui! (What interesting data THIS WILL BE) Funny.
| RebeccasanFujiEijiLVR chapter 1 . 6/5/2007
This was good.
| Speadee chapter 1 . 4/16/2007
As I mentioned at LJ, this was funny. I read it several times and always laughed. I'm glad you kept the characters the way they are.
| JupiterK chapter 1 . 7/10/2006
hahaha. Oh, that was silly. Although Kaido passing out when Inui lost his glasses was a tad over the top.
But otherwise I liked it :3
| merissala chapter 1 . 7/6/2006
nice, funy too
| Shia R. N chapter 1 . 4/13/2006
*Frown.* It shouldn't have been a one shot...
*Grinning!* It was really good though! I laughed a ton! A ton I tell you! Hahaha!
| gooeycheese chapter 1 . 2/21/2006
LOL. cute. good job!