Reviews for Broken
Zoe chapter 2 . 7/11/2008

I love your fiic! T_T

Aki x Hari is a really good prairing!

Good job! :D
van chapter 2 . 5/9/2008
it was nice chspter hope the next is come
MysticSorceror chapter 2 . 4/15/2008
Things I like:

Nice opening

Poor Ha'ri actually read that? - I like the idea of him having to back up Akito no matter what

Wonderful descriptions

Good transitioning from last chapter

Poor Ritsu and Ha'ri that must be really traumatic for them

I like the inclusion of Yuuri, I'm still questioning my sexuality but it's a nice inclusion

Nice characterization

I love the character interactions

I honestly can't stop reading this because it's so cute - great emotions as well

Ways to improve:

Some of the sentences seem disjointed

A couple dropped words in places

Nice work


Warning: I tend to be brutally honest about the next part

Things I didn't like:

I'm guessing no access to the manga but it's Ren -

Two years not Two tears
MysticSorceror chapter 1 . 4/14/2008
Things I like:

Cute interactions between Yuki and Akito - really adorable

I love how Akito shows his reasoning _

Great paragraph - one about Akito's curse after the freak question

I like how Akito distrusts Hatori 0.o

Poor Kagura

I like the anger that Akito directs at poor Yuki

I really like reading this, the first page was awkward but now I can't stop reading the chapter

Aww I like this dark nature, it's pretty saddening *glomps Yuki*

Great end

Ways to improve:

Some grammar issues

Balance the dialogue with nonverbal communication

I think a lot is two words :;

Some disjointed sentences

Work a little on your transitions

Show some more emotion - it's kind of hollow

I know you like Akito but the characterization seems a little off

Fantastic Work


Warning: I tend to be brutally honest in the next part




Things I didn't like:

Some of the wording is confusing and I found myself getting distracted whilst reading

I'm surprised that Yuki is allowed to play with the others, didn't Haru sneak in to see him?

I thought that they were younger than this when Akito broke

The use of the word "said" grinds on me

Yuki and Kyo were never this warm with one-another

Really weird interactions between characters
firefly12 chapter 2 . 12/28/2006
Will you update soon? It's so hard to find good Aki/Hatori fics but this one made my day. Thanks!
rin-ren-ran chapter 2 . 8/12/2006
that was sweet... i've watched the whole anime but only read up to volume 9 of the manga, so i really wanted to understand akito more. this really helped.

so if this fic in placed in the past then... it's really sad that akito had to mess it up with hatori too, about kana.
Guest chapter 1 . 11/12/2005
i found the whole show sad, mostly because of all akito did, but if this was what his childhood was like then i shouldn't be surprised that he is so messed up.
Raikune chapter 2 . 9/28/2005
So kawaii. And little ickle Aki is so..well, more kawaii. I'd say a lot more but I have a class...I'll ttyl
Becky chapter 1 . 3/30/2005
Cool! I thought it had a really orginal touch to it! Even though furuba isn't yours! Don't give up! Keep writeing! :)
Moi chapter 2 . 11/16/2004
*Hopes for a sequel*
mijiimonsuta chapter 2 . 1/28/2004
Aw! So cute XD *claps*
*giggle* Yay for Akito... *steals Kagura's pigtail and staples it to her wall*
But... D'aw! That's adorable... Hari just wants Akito to be happyy~ *sniff*
And well written too! _
Good stuff.
softbats chapter 2 . 1/28/2004
*gmeebles* o_o EEpies! I liekeded muchly, 'mooto-chan! *glomphuggle* The first chapter was especially fun... I love Akito's POV. ; There was also the fact that I kept imagining Rairi playing with the chids... and being violent and changing the whole plot etc. and then there I was, realizing your ficcu was better. ;
Hyper Riceball chapter 2 . 12/11/2003
Sore wa totemo kawaii desu!
Hyper Riceball chapter 1 . 12/11/2003
I love it! It's original and its cool cuz its AKITO! whe
Chou ni Natte chapter 2 . 10/10/2003
*blink blink* That was really good! Somehow different than the usual. _
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