|Reviews for Identity Crisis|
| Demon King Piccolo chapter 7 . 1/18/2009
I like this story. It was well paced, humorous, and I think you captured characterization well. Admittedly, I'm rather bothered by the various parts in the story which seems to veer off humor. For example, the beginning of chapter five, and the implication of what happened to Keitaro was kind of...disturbing.
Still, the story was very good overall, and I enjoyed it.
| Naerylan chapter 1 . 5/26/2004
Quite an interesting tale. In fact, with the exception of four flaws so minor I can't even remember where they were, it's pretty much perfect, from a grammar/spelling standpoint. You capture the characters fairly well too.
The only problems I had with it were style issues, that is "things I would have done differently".
- I don't like the use of "moshimoshi" and other random Japanese; if you write a story in English it should be *all* English. Fortunately I didn't see it come up too often.
- The first scene with Seta seems okay, but the others are just sort of, "Seta pops in to explicate the plot and then leaves". Too easy, almost. I dunno.
- I rather prefer the spelling "senpai" instead of "sempai" (while they both come out the same, the former is a slightly more literal romanization) Don't mind me, I'm just picky like that
- The single-quoted thoughts. They bug me, a little. Not enough to ruin the enjoyment of the story, but it's really hard to focus on which quote is what sort of dialogue, when the whole situation could be avoided by putting internal speech in italics.
- The pronouns are a bit confusing in the first few chapters. It seems as though you couldn't decide whether to call a person's gender by their mind or their current body. It would make the whole thing flow a lot better if you went through and changed them all to a standard.
I thought the most interesting part was the way you made it "open for a sequel" - that is, if the story ends here, everything returns to normal (as normal as the Love Hina crowd gets, anyway). If not, the plot can move on to any of the other girls.
I've said this already, but I think this story or one like it would make an *awesome* doujinshi. And I think it's a shame that I don't have the artistic ability to draw one for it.
Well, talk to ya later )
| ShinMasaki chapter 7 . 9/29/2003
Haha, qutie hilarious overall. Very few grammatical errors throughout the piece and you kept the other characters mostly within their character bounds.
Plenty of comical things throughout the story, but perhaps you made Seta a little too "intelligent" at times than his true character. It's a nice story that shows what both Keitaro and Kitsune lives are and how they actually learn what it is to live in their shoes.
Everything seemed to flow nicely, you did not have any drastic jumps in your story that were not self-explanatory and your dialogue seemed to be quite natural. Overall, a very good story. Well done, i look forward to more stories by you. Very nice that you finished the entire story within a month's time.
I would most love to see Keitaro as Motoko or Naru; however, with the punishment he gets from those two, it would be interesting to see if he would use their reversed roles to his own gain like that or not. Keeping Keitaro to his true character, he probably wouldn't and the others wouldn't get a sense of who Keitaro really is. I believe Kitsune was the only real good choice here.
Again, very nicely done.
| ZoieLark chapter 7 . 8/30/2003
HEHEHEHEHEH! Great ending/story and everything. By the way, I loved chapter 5.
| RabidOtaku chapter 1 . 8/30/2003
That was an excellent story. I can truly say I enjoyed it. I'm already passing this one onto my friends. BTW, that was a genius ending. I want Keitaro to turn into Su! lol.
| Crimson FyrLite chapter 4 . 8/28/2003
Yea! I finished two more chapters! Just 3 more to go, right?
It's very good. The characters are in character and the flow of the story is nice too. Nice Job.
| Kev chapter 5 . 8/26/2003
Chapters 4 and 5 are the same.
| UPRC chapter 7 . 8/26/2003
Very cool ending... Definitely leaves some food for thought. Good job! :D
| Stizzo chapter 7 . 8/26/2003
Good ending. I look forward to seeing any new projects you might start.
| Sypoth Sithicus chapter 6 . 8/26/2003
Interesting. Who will be next?
| R3Dragon chapter 7 . 8/26/2003
Nice ending... I loved it...
| Lexy chapter 7 . 8/26/2003
Wow! that was great I really enjoyed it! Are you gonna do the Motoko one like we discussed? I would really like you to write that. I think you are an exelent author and portray the charecters personalities perfectly! Can't wait for your next fic! Ja Ne! _~
| ZoieLark chapter 2 . 8/26/2003
AH! I'm such a slow reader! I'll finish it soon, I hope! It's really cool so far, and a very interesting concept!
Till whenever I get a chance to finish this story.
| TheCrmina1 chapter 1 . 8/25/2003
Great story so far. I'm impressed at the originality. There weren't even any grammar mistakes, but then again I'm not that great of a writer. I hope to see this fic continue, it's turning out great.
| jennyjennai chapter 5 . 8/22/2003
Solid chapter, it's funny and provides a good look at both Keitaro and Kitsune's lives, thoughts and feelings. Solid writing with good plot and character development - you're doing a wonderful job of writing this.