|Reviews for Sword of Sorrow|
| Psychopomposity chapter 1 . 5/28/2011
The basic idea of the Avatar returning in some capacity to fight a remnant part of the Guardian can make for a compelling story, however this piece lacks a lot of the "meat" to really bring the narrative to life. The importance of the sword is never fully developed beyond simple McGuffin status, nor is the existence of the Guardian and the Avatar as separate entities explained. In addition to this, there is little effort needed on the part of the protagonist to discover the sword and its purpose, as the avatar is simply told of the artifact and its location by Lord British.
Why is the sword able to harm the Guardian? Where did the sword come from? Why is the Guardian reappearing in a different form? How was the Avatar resurrected? Answering some of these questions would greatly improve on the story. There are also a few malaprops and misspellings that a good run of editing would help.
That all said, I can tell a lot of effort went into describing the setting of each scene, and the ending -while a bit cliche- certainly had a nice "legendary" feel to it. I feel with some working over, a very serviceable story could be written from the ideas tossed about here.
| max chapter 1 . 10/20/2003
me again well i figured it all out
you are wrighting about #4 and #5
inbetween oh hi all
| Max chapter 1 . 9/11/2003
Why is the avatar alive? in acencion he died along with the gardian! Other than that i think its excellent.