|Reviews for Slave|
| AntiCensor chapter 7 . 6/5/2006
I always thought that the word hella would just drift away like so many other non words, but it has become more popular than the band that created it. Soon it will be in the dictionary, I just know it will.
Wow, you're writing from the perspective of one of the heroes now, it had not occurred to me that you might do that.
I never wondered before why Seifer was never killed, but if there had been a scene like this in the game then I would fully understand. Personally I think it was so he wouldn't need to be resurrected for fanfiction.
Fruinjoina is too clever.
At the end when Seifer flips out I felt that I was granted a good Seifer, like he was coming to his senses after realizing what he has become. But then you go to that last paragraph where he decides he's going to leave his friends and lose interest in his own life. Then I remembered that this makes sense since you are going with the story and he would have to do something like this for the story to work the way it did.
Even if it takes you forever I'll be waiting eagerly for your next chapter, I want to see what you do with this story, I really want to see what you do with the ending. I hope it's set after FF8's ending.
| AntiCensor chapter 5 . 6/3/2006
Ha, you're writing in Raijin's perspective for this part, I forgot you did that.
I would be fascinated to know what the difference between 'Deathly' and 'Like a ghost' are to you. It's almost like your saying the same thing twice but I know you intended a subtle difference between the two things.
I usually think it's unfair to make Raijin like a caveman but you may be using that for a plot device so that it's okay.
If you want it to be darker then you need disturbing ambience. Try setting the scene before and during whatever scene you write. You might want to think that the light in the room and other such details are not important but that sort of thing helps the mood, and if you can create mood then your story will be much darker.
| greydays chapter 7 . 5/31/2006
no! don't stop there. gotta know what happens next. please continue soon!
| AntiCensor chapter 4 . 5/30/2006
I am made rather curious as to where Raijin is at the time, and at what point in the story is this all happening? It is all very nifty but I am a bit confuzzled.
I think it really means something when you have Ultimecia call Fujin and Raijin slaves but Seifer doesn't defend them. That makes it clear that you are having him put under a spell rather than being a full fledged traitor.
You are also doing that thing where Fujin speaks to Seifer normally, I do that too.
Too many human emotions, is Seifer becoming a nazi?
Seifers arrogance in this seems to be coupled witha certain amount of stupidity to make things even more hopeless for Fujin. It would be funny if this weren't so tragic.
If you're worried that this is confusing then you should decide what you think is confusing and change it for clarification.
I may read the next chapter tonight, I'm sure I'll be all caught up again soon.
| AntiCensor chapter 3 . 5/28/2006
(She could feel what he felt, see what he sees, etc. /when she feels like it) This sort of thing hurts the flow of your story. It's better if you write it not so much as a foot note and more a part of the actual story. The idea is good however.
I really want to know at what point in the story does this thing with Squall happen. Or is it a test by Ultimecia, she has perhaps created a double of Squall for Seifer to kill for practice?
The term zombie mode is rather funny I think.
I like how you say 'eye with Fujin instead of 'eyes' that always drives me nuts when I'm reading other peoples stories.
And to the next chapter I will go, Tomorrow!
| AntiCensor chapter 2 . 5/28/2006
I'm really curious how the guardian forces tie in to Fujin and Seifers story. I don't remember if you got in to that when I last read this story. I'm sure I'll find out before the day is over though, you're an easy read. I enjoy that you have already connected the two characters rather than trying to do a Fire and Ice thing with them. I have always pictured them as devoted friends.
| AntiCensor chapter 1 . 5/28/2006
Hey you. The last time I read this story I only reviewed your latest chapter, I don't know what was wrong but I have plenty of time on my hands right now so I'll review your every chapter this time.
I very much liked how you said that Fujin's feet entered the room for her, it makes a fine implication of the power the sorceress has over them. Also writing this from Fujin's perspective is awesome because we hardly ever get insight on how Fujin thinks. Although you don't update this regularly I'm quite fond of it so you can expect my reviews.
On to re-read the second chapter now.
| shadowkeepre chapter 7 . 5/28/2006
Huzzah! It's great to see an author update! (I'm allowed to say that; I take forever updating myself.)
I can't wait until the next chapter; I've been following this one for a while, now. Keep up the good work!
| AntiCensor chapter 6 . 8/15/2005
It has been nine months and three days since you last updated this story. I do hope that you have not abandoned it or lost interest in it or simply lost time for writing it. This is in my opinion one of the better Seifer and Fujin stories on this web site, and SeiFu's are hard to find which means that good ones are almost impossible to find. It would certainly be a pity if you really have given up but if you haven't you will definetley make me and the few SeiFu fans out there happy. Keep writing, and if you aren't, then start again. Please.
| fujinakaheero chapter 6 . 3/14/2005
Good story so far, pretty dark, for me atleast, I usually don't read dark fics but I decided to check yours out. I'm hoping you update soon.
A few spelling/gramar mistakes, but no ones pefect and besides it doesn't take away from the story and plot it's self. Anyways, I hope you update son! Ja Ne! Fujinakaheero
| Bojack727 chapter 6 . 1/3/2005
I don't normally make demands, but you MUST update this.
| LilYatenFae chapter 6 . 12/21/2004
VERY NICE. I like it alot. Angsty... continue!
| Puppy Blu chapter 5 . 10/9/2004
Your story is most compelling. I rather enjoy it a lot, however the whole ordeal between Fuujin and Seifer is so mind exploding! -dies- I really hate seeing what is becoming of them, and yet I envy it/want it so badly. I hope you update soon and allow more pleasurable pain for your readers.
-Love, The Pup.
| shadowkeepre chapter 5 . 8/30/2004
Hey, now. Spiffy story. You're right; there aren't enough Seifuu's out there. Please keep it up. I'll be watching.
| Blueezy chapter 4 . 7/18/2004
OH *covers mouth in morbid facination* OH!
T-T man do i want you to update this fic!