|Reviews for During a journey in the dark|
| Living in a fantasy chapter 6 . 11/29/2007
It is so sad that I have finished all of the series so soon, but I finally have a lotr story to look forward to updating. Seeing as how you started this in 2003 and updated in september of this year, I'm guessing that you plan to continue at some point in time.
The feel of this story is different then your previous one. The descriptions of how the characters feel make me nervous even though I know what awaits them in that darkness. I really don't know what you can do to improve this story besides updating when you can. It is, in my opinion, just perfect. I look forward to seeing how the rest of the fellowship may see the darkness of Moria, and how you plan to continue with Legolas and gimli forming a friendship. I'll be looking forward to another chapter.
| Nemrut chapter 6 . 11/16/2007
Hello there, I was advised to your story as a prime example for a story where several characters are getting equal "screen time" and I have to say, you are pulling it off magnificently.
I know from experience how hard it is to include a large number of characters into conversations and such, yet you manage it effortless, even though I am sure you spend quite a time on the chapters.
As such they are really brilliant, close to the books, radiating the true feeling of LotR, you really have done some research, I can see how deep you are within your material, even though I am not that near to LotR, so needles to say I have learned much by reading your story.
All persons are in character, staying as close to the canon as you can get, and I can't help but feel myself reading the books again.
Sometimes when I read a good story, here on a certain excitement is flowing through me, (weird heh?) which is making me wanting to write and this was one.
Grammar and such I can't say much for I suck myself, the only thing I can say is that no mistake caught my eye, alas didn't disturb the flow of the story, yet i wouldn't know if there are any.
I know writers are disliking reviews without constructive criticism but I really wouldn't know what you can do better, (except updating more often ;)) so I finish stealing your time by pointing out that you indeed have written a fantastic story, worthy of the LotR book, if not better as in my opinion Tolkien tends to lose himself in the descriptions of the surroundings.
So keep it up, hope to see more soon
have fun writing your stories,
| The Dancing Cavalier chapter 6 . 11/10/2007
This is such a wonderful story. I love every bit of it. Please continue your write. Your writing is absloutly scrumptious!
| Hello Anyone There chapter 6 . 10/30/2007
Cool. the intrigue deepens. this story is really compelling, i like the aragorn legolas friendships.
i liked the prequel as well especially the part with the river.
| anarithilien chapter 6 . 10/22/2007
I'm sorry about the delay in getting this review out. It was not my intention to let this story sit on my desk so long, but RL played its usual nasty tricks on me.
You haven't lost your touch. This chapter is as magnificent as anything else you've written, and as I always do, I've relished the opportunity to step into the heads of the various characters. Each is a wonderful portrait, and I marvel that you are able to mesh Tolkien's words into the small dramas you create with them individually.
Pippen is charming as he manages to take fear and worries and turn them into a conversation about herding cats. Only you could do that. I have to laugh about the other expressions attributed too. Spider gifts?
Boromir proves once again his keen observations here. He may not sense Gollum, but he knows by now the traits of Legolas, and that is what gives the situation away. Oh if only the Ring hadn't done its worst upon him... it would have been fun to see him survive the war. He is a very consoling and compassionate soul when he isn't led to corruption. What he said to Pippen was far better and wiser than any of the others could have done him. Boromir is truly an admirable character here. Aragorn's praise surely felt good to him.
Sadly, poor Pippen plays the fool anyhow. I'm sure Gandalf and many others would like to see his curiosity snipped, but it's one of the Hobbit's more charming traits. How else could he manage to ask a question about herding cats? Yet the danger has deepened and I do not envy any of the Fellowship and their predicament now.
Oh, but the bad news is now that I've finished reading this chapter, I don't know how long I will have to wait before you give us an update on one of the other stories you have out there. I know from personal experience that begging, cajoling, or even threatening an author do not work to vanquish writers block. So I'll just offer my words of encouragement here - you are a master storyteller and every word you write is golden. I will also send my hopes the muses begin to play freely. Lastly, I will act the part of movie verse Gandalf and say "I release you from this spell." Hey, whatever works.
As always, my best to you!
| Aranna Undomiel chapter 6 . 10/17/2007
I'm glad that you decided to continue this great story. I hope more updates will follow, because I really love reading this.
You managed to describe that feeling of overwhelming darkness very well, started to feel slightly claustrophobic from it...LOL
Loved that moment with Boromir and Pippin before he jumped, that was really touching. But now silly Pippin alerted the beings that live there of their presence.
Hope you update soon!
| Miruial chapter 6 . 10/4/2007
HOORAY! You're back! I had almost given up hope! I actually went back and re-read "while the ring went south" and this one! Wonderful stories! Please update sooner this time!
| A-zla chapter 6 . 10/3/2007
Thanks for the update! I had almost lost hope that this story would be continued, and I am glad that you did.
I was wondering why Legolas is not glowing in the dark. Maybe you could explain that later on?
| Alma's Muse chapter 6 . 9/30/2007
I had fear that this story was abandoned but I can see that it merely required a lot of time and attention to develop. I enjoy all of your stories because of your attention to detail. It makes for an entertaining read. Keep up the good work.
| tbka chapter 6 . 9/29/2007
I have to say I was completely utterly shocked when I got an email alert for this story. I've despaired for years that this story would never be finished and I had resigned myself to the fact that you've abandoned it.
But you have made my life absolutely amazing with an update. I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am that you've updated this story... I can only hope that the next chapter might come a little sooner than this one. But I am prepared to wait if need be.
I've always enjoyed your writing (I love "While the Ring Went South" and still reread "Land of Light and Shadows" in hopes that one day it to may be continued) and I so happy that you've decided to continue this story. I absolutely love everything about your stories... from your settings to your descriptions and how you manage to keep every character in character. You truly are amazing and have a great talent.
I hope you always continue to write fanfics for all of your loyal readers to continue to read.
Your stories inspired me to try my own hand at writing and I can't thank you enough for leading me into this beautiful of fanfiction (as both a reader and a writer).
| Aldalena chapter 6 . 9/29/2007
OMG OMGOMGOMG! An update! :D *Is so excited she once again reviews before she's even read the chapter!* I'm sure it'll be an awesome chapter! _ Maybe I'll send a PM...maybe...? Ah, what the heck? Of course I'll send a PM after I've read the chapter so I can tell you how great it is because I KNOW it WILL be wonderful to read since your stories/updates are ALWAYS excellent! :D
*IS HYPER FROM HAVING CONSUMED TO MUUCH SUUGAARR!*
*Does a stupid hyper dance* Okay, I'm gonna read the chapter now! '
And update soon? _
*Must be irritating and angering the great authoress with her persistence* Dx
| Sylvia1 chapter 6 . 9/29/2007
Thank you so much for updating this! The mines of Moria seem to take on a personality of their own with you behind the pen and the differing reactions of the Fellowship really help to show how scary this place is. I always felt that this was the place that the Fellowship probably obtained their strongest ties, simply because they had to learn how to coexist in a dark, cramped, and disturbing environment.
There are a couple of things that I absolutely loved about the characterization too - that Pippin is the conversation starter - he does seem to be the most sociable one of the group. I also loved that everybody is visibly on edge, especially Legolas and Aragorn, though for different reasons. I can see how the darkness and claustrophobic corridors of the mines are really getting to Legolas. It makes me wonder how alert he's going to be able to be as it continues to wear on him. Aragorn, who is fully aware of Gandalf's omens, is trying to keep Legolas under control while at the same time act as second-in-command. The leaps across the chasm were beautifully written too - go Pippin! And Boromir's encouraging speech made me smile - its wonderful to see him giving advice like that. Sometimes I see him more as a friend to the hobbits and not really acting as a leader for them.
Thank you once again, Thundera! It was definately worthwhile waiting for, and I can't wait for the next chapter again. Man, I'm such a junkie for your fic. P
| Lamiel chapter 6 . 9/29/2007
Oh wow, I didn't expect an update to this story! I'm delighted to see it is still going strong - I love your Fellowship stories. Each character is fully developed and real, and I think you do justice to them all as Tolkien intended. It's so easy to fall into the trap of favoring one's personal favorite characters, or succombing to stereotypes, especially for the Hobbits - but you do perfect justice to them all.
In fact it is your characterization of the Hobbits that impresses me most in this chapter: each one is unique, thoughtful, and shows an adult's maturity and reasoning. Hallelujah. I enjoy humor and fluff as much as anyone, but it is nice to see Merry and Pippin acting as adults here (even if they are a bit fool-hardy about rushing into the dark guards' room, they had good reason and they acknowledge their foolishness and correct it.) The time taken to pace off the distance across that crevasse and practice their jumps was also an excellent touch. It adds a sense of realism to the story.
I did wonder for a moment about Gimli helping Gandalf to lead them - has he been to Moria before? I know that Aragorn has, but I rather thought Gimli had not. Or perhaps he's familiar with the design of Khazad-Dum - I imagine it would be the foundation of lessons in city design for all young Dwarves.
This is just a delight to read. It was your story "While the Ring Went South" that first got me into fanfiction, and I'm so happy to see this sequel alive and kicking. Excellent work, as always.
| Lauren Hedgehog chapter 6 . 9/29/2007
As always, wonderfully written :-) You do such a lovely job with all of the characters :-)
| greenleafprince chapter 6 . 9/29/2007
i loved your story while the ring went south
and i love during a journey in the dark there written so good and draws you in to the story please send another chappie up soon