|Reviews for During a journey in the dark|
| Sylvia1 chapter 6 . 9/29/2007
Thank you so much for updating this! The mines of Moria seem to take on a personality of their own with you behind the pen and the differing reactions of the Fellowship really help to show how scary this place is. I always felt that this was the place that the Fellowship probably obtained their strongest ties, simply because they had to learn how to coexist in a dark, cramped, and disturbing environment.
There are a couple of things that I absolutely loved about the characterization too - that Pippin is the conversation starter - he does seem to be the most sociable one of the group. I also loved that everybody is visibly on edge, especially Legolas and Aragorn, though for different reasons. I can see how the darkness and claustrophobic corridors of the mines are really getting to Legolas. It makes me wonder how alert he's going to be able to be as it continues to wear on him. Aragorn, who is fully aware of Gandalf's omens, is trying to keep Legolas under control while at the same time act as second-in-command. The leaps across the chasm were beautifully written too - go Pippin! And Boromir's encouraging speech made me smile - its wonderful to see him giving advice like that. Sometimes I see him more as a friend to the hobbits and not really acting as a leader for them.
Thank you once again, Thundera! It was definately worthwhile waiting for, and I can't wait for the next chapter again. Man, I'm such a junkie for your fic. P
| Lamiel chapter 6 . 9/29/2007
Oh wow, I didn't expect an update to this story! I'm delighted to see it is still going strong - I love your Fellowship stories. Each character is fully developed and real, and I think you do justice to them all as Tolkien intended. It's so easy to fall into the trap of favoring one's personal favorite characters, or succombing to stereotypes, especially for the Hobbits - but you do perfect justice to them all.
In fact it is your characterization of the Hobbits that impresses me most in this chapter: each one is unique, thoughtful, and shows an adult's maturity and reasoning. Hallelujah. I enjoy humor and fluff as much as anyone, but it is nice to see Merry and Pippin acting as adults here (even if they are a bit fool-hardy about rushing into the dark guards' room, they had good reason and they acknowledge their foolishness and correct it.) The time taken to pace off the distance across that crevasse and practice their jumps was also an excellent touch. It adds a sense of realism to the story.
I did wonder for a moment about Gimli helping Gandalf to lead them - has he been to Moria before? I know that Aragorn has, but I rather thought Gimli had not. Or perhaps he's familiar with the design of Khazad-Dum - I imagine it would be the foundation of lessons in city design for all young Dwarves.
This is just a delight to read. It was your story "While the Ring Went South" that first got me into fanfiction, and I'm so happy to see this sequel alive and kicking. Excellent work, as always.
| Lauren Hedgehog chapter 6 . 9/29/2007
As always, wonderfully written :-) You do such a lovely job with all of the characters :-)
| greenleafprince chapter 6 . 9/29/2007
i loved your story while the ring went south
and i love during a journey in the dark there written so good and draws you in to the story please send another chappie up soon
| ElfLover chapter 6 . 9/29/2007
You have no idea how overjoyed I was to get an update notice for this story. So very glad that you're continuing it; this is one of the few truly good stories out there.
I really enjoyed the sharing of sayings, and the discourse on Berúthiel's cats. Pippin's curiosity has no end, which is why we love him.
I think you did a great job here of incorporating dialogue from the book with your own, especially towards the end.
| Aislynn Crowdaughter chapter 6 . 9/29/2007
Oh, what a treat to come online this morning and find an update to this story! It is one of my favorites, after all, and I am so glad to see you are continuing this! And what a nice chapter. I love the way you handle and expand the tale by letting us experience the shadows and the lurking thraet of Moria though the eyes of the Hobbits. The POV of Pippin, then later Sam, is well chosen, and the feelings we share with them are intense; and the way we see thre company interact is well woven into the tale and delightful to read. And I love the way you let the warriors of the Fellowship interact here.
I loved the reference to Queen Beruthiel, especially in the way it was done here; instead to simply have Aragorn mention the legend, him using it to draw Boromir in is working very well, and the caution they both give to believing the tales does my heart good, avid fan of Werecats Beruthiel-stories that I am. And the exchange of proverbs was lovely.
I also love the way you write Boromir; indeed we get to see what makes him a great captain of Gondor, instead of simply being the Steward's son. But most I love how you create the atmosphere, and have us feel it by the interaction of the Fellowship and through the eyes of the Hobbits. This is a lovely read, as always, and I have missed this story far too much. I am glad that finally there is more of it to enjoy!
Would it be very preposterous to ask for some more chapters? :D
Greetings to you, and it is wonderful to have you back!
| Templa Otmena chapter 6 . 9/29/2007
This was a lovely Saturday morning surprise before I have to traipse downstairs to continue working on a monster essay :)
Thank you for updating. I thoroughly enjoyed the new POVs and how you weave the story throughout. The antagonism between Aragorn and Boromir was interesting in this chapter but it is possible to see more than a measure of respect growing with every clash that they have.
| Laurenke1 chapter 6 . 9/29/2007
You have to update really soon because I need to read more
I loved it as usual. You are a very talented writer
| bethellie chapter 6 . 9/28/2007
Enjoyed, as always. Lovely to see a new chapter of this. You renew my interest in reading Lord of the Rings stories.
You manage to create the same tension in your writing that I felt that first incredible time I read Tolkien's own words of Moria. The way you put dialogue from the books amongst your own is cleverly done.
Sam has always been my favourite character, and I have to say how much I love the way you write him.
| rika195 chapter 5 . 2/28/2007
Wow, this is the best story I've read in a long time! I love LotR, and you write the characters so brilliantly. I can tell that you put a lot of work into what you write, and make sure to stay by the book. That is really awesome, and I have never read better. NEVER. It is so clear, so well thought-out, and so inspiring! I spent hours just sitting in front of my computer relishing it, that having to stop before it's done is like torture. I am just so amazed at your skill, and how much life your story has. Incredibly, you are the best auther I have ever read on this entire website!
I read the first part to this story, and now I can hardly wait for you to continue! I love your development, because it adds so much to the story we already know and love. And truly, no one could do better than you, even though your writing inspires us all to try.
However, I am very sad that this story has not been continued for some time. I am very glad that I found it though, and I can't believe I haven't found it before now! You are incredible, and so are all of your stories. I am so impressed! I hope so much that you will continue this soon, because it is such an encouragement and a blessing to read.
I know that you have a life to live out there. We all do, and if anyone thinks that they can live their life on ff dot net, they are wrong. I know this, and I know that your life is much more important than this story will ever be. But I hope...I so hope, that you will be able to continue this story soon, as you have time. If you don't, that's okay. Sometimes we have to move on. But I feel my curiosity will never be completely satisfied if I don't see this story finished. It's a sad thought, but one I could live with if I have to.
So...in closing, I just want you to know how awesome you are, and how inspired your writing has made me. And how blessed it has made me feel just to be able to read it. Please continue! Please! At least, as you can.
And God bless you! You deserve it!
| empath89 chapter 5 . 1/24/2007
you haven't updated this fic in so long! why? it's so good. and i love the prequel...especially the gimli/legolas bits. i love their arguements! so good. and i love your other one-shots...especially (again) gimli/legolas ones. i really hope you haven't abandoned this, cuz i would love to see more.
| kaitokitty chapter 5 . 12/5/2006
I just read "While the Ring went south" a few days ago, and loved it! Now I discovered the sequel, and I can't wait for you to update!
| Miruial chapter 5 . 9/9/2006
Oh dear! It's odd; I know what's going to happen, but it's still suspenseful and like, 'Oh no! What will happen next!' I really liked the part you added at the end with Bill. That was different, but good. I'm just anxious to see the friendship between Gimli and Legolas start to form... And waiting to see Gimli's thoughts when Legolas actually panics and drops his arrow...
| Zarz chapter 5 . 7/15/2006
I love this! I know you haven't updated this in a year-and-a-half, but please, please, update and continue this soon! I really want to find out what happens next! The scenes in Moria are some of the most action-packed in the entire FOTR, and the way you've been expanding on everything else makes it clear that these few days in Moria are going to be absolutely incredible! I can't wait to find out what happens next, and as well, I'm looking forward to an expansion of the almost a month the Fellowship spends in Lothlorian! Anyway, seeing Bill heading towards Rivendell and Bree was really nice. I've always wondered what affect Gandalf's words actually had on him. Legolas's leap over the Watcher was also a great touch. Tolkien definitely ought to have put that in; at times it seems Legolas is invisible the whole first book! Anyway, keep up the good work, and I am totally looking forward to your next update. Please, please update this again! I absolutely adore it!
| Winged Tree chapter 5 . 3/3/2006
Hi. :) I don't know if you remember me, but I used to review your wonderful stories before the spectre that is COLLGE swallowed me whole. I came back and was floored by the sheer volume of things you've produced during that time, and as I'm reading and rereading your work, I'm equally impressed by the quality of it all as well. Prolific AND well-written! It doesn't get better._
Anyway, I'm so happy to see that you've decided to write a sequel to WTRWS, because the parts I most wanted to see filled out in the books were all while they were in Moria. *cough*
I wish I could leave you a more critical review but I simply don't have the time to read more carefully. One thing I did notice is that you often say things like, "the elf that..." and so on, and it really should be "the elf who..." since the elf isn't a thing.; This is just one of those little grammatical issues that really jump out at me in writing, I know it's really nit-picky. But I just thought I'd mention that. I also wanted to mention that sometimes you overstate a point a little too often, especially when a chracter feels a sense of foreboding. I do realize the characters themselves are extremely worried, and have good reason to be, but it's said so often that instead of feeling sympathetic, I find myself going, "Yes yes, I KNOW you feel bad about this place, let's move on now!"; I mean no offense, I just thought it would help if I gave you some of a reader's initial responses.
You're doing a great job with all the point of views, and I'm impressed with your characterization of the hobbits, who are really very difficult in that respect because people tend to make them all sound the same. You, on the other hand, made each of them have their own individual thoughts. Gandalf's frustration with the door was wonderfully done; he was driving ME crazy, and I'm just the reader looking in.
Rather sadistically perhaps, I'm anticipating more nervousness on Legolas' part, owing to his being stuck underground, and I really appreciate your sensitivity in bringing that out even from Merry's POV (I'm assuming that is the reason for Legolas' pause before he descends to follow Gandalf and Gimli). Gimli too, I'm interested in his response upon seeing the splendor of Moria, even in his ruined state. He must be worried for his kin, and having serious doubts, even while being awed by the craftsmanship of his ancestors. It'd definitely make for interesting reading. But honestly, you are so sensitive to Legolas and Gimli that I don't expect you will disappoint in the least when it comes to them._ Hats off to you for giving those two the serious attention that they heartily deserve. (Especially Gimli. The movie made him mostly comic relief to my dismay, and doubtless that's how much of the movie initiated fandom views him.)
I also wanted to tell you how much I loved that inclusion of Legolas jumping over the Watcher. I am a sad excuse for an LotR book fan because I still haven't gotten my hands on HOME, so I didn't know about this earlier draft. I nearly squealed when you mentioned that in that version, Gimli grabbed Legolas and pulled him inside. I suppose Tolkien decided to scrap this in favor of having Legolas pull Gimli away from Balin's tomb later on, but wow, the thought that Gimli helped him out at some earlier incarnation of FotR warms my heart so._
*cough* Anyway, as you are very obviously a fellow Legolas and Gimli friendship fan, I have no doubt you also noted that little detail about Legolas getting Gimli to leave before they're all killed, and I have high hopes that you will do something with that. I was sad but unsurprised when I went to watch the FotR movie and found that they didn't include it (nor the sea-longing!_ Nor any of the parts where Legolas is actually funny!).;
Speaking of the movies...maybe this is horribly selfish of me but...stay with the books?;_; I mean, I truly enjoyed the movies and applauded Peer Jackson for doing such a fine job, but the books touched me in a way that's really been unparalleled by any other work of fiction. I just remember being a fan of Legolas when no one else seemed to care two cents about him, and driving my friends insane about how awesome it was that Legolas and Gimli overcame age-old feuds to become friends (etc etc)... The movies were good, but I actually thought they handled Legolas and Gimil (as characters and in terms of their friendship) rather poorly. There are so many fic writers out there who know only the movies now, and reading your purely book-verse fics is such a refreshing change that...I dunno, I'm being silly and rude. I'm sorry. You'll of course do what you want, but against the pressure of people who are asking for movie scenes, I am peeping a small voice in opposition. I hope you don't find this too forward.; I love your stories for the richness of detail and for the obvious time and research you've put into it (as well as your wonderful characterizations, but that's an entirely different essay). I honestly do not think a concession to the movies is necessary.
One day I will have the time to read through your stories with a more critical eye, and will be able to offer *helpful* criticism rather than the mountain of speculation and gushing I've given you here, I swear. It was great to be reading you again. Many and profound thanks for writing.
Lastly, I hope you have gotten over that illness you mentioned. It actually sounded terrifying, and I was really worried there. Please take care of yourself, and again, thanks for your stories.