|Reviews for Forced Darkness|
| Please chapter 3 . 9/28/2010
I hope you will consider finishing this. Please? It might be easier to do so if you deleted the third chapter and just started at the end of the second again. You really boxed yourself into a corner with this wildly fantastical history for Arthur. The story had many places to go after the second chapter, but then the third kind of ruined its potential, at least for me. If you had plans for this story and the third chapter was essential to your plot, that's one thing, but are you sure that you didn't lose interest in this story because it would have been too complicated to include everything that the third chapter would lead to? I noticed that you have other posts after this story was abandoned and it made me wonder.
| PinkDeathNerd chapter 3 . 3/10/2008
I like your story so far ! :)
but something doesn't make sense to me.
Arthur couldn't be that guys son, he was Dumbledores enemy when he was younger. Therefore there would have been another generation or two or three before Arthur was even thought of.
Are you gunna continue this?
| JaceDamian23 chapter 3 . 10/11/2007
though i hate how draco didnt talk at all
also wish you wrote more
| Jen103 chapter 3 . 9/25/2007
woohoo its good please cntinue :) bumps x
| x0xdreamergurlx0x chapter 3 . 12/11/2006
ack! this is one AWSOME story! i can't wait until the next chapter
| Bumblez 24 chapter 1 . 11/22/2006
Are you EVER gonna update again? I LOVE this story! PLEASE UPDATE!
And what's up with no one updating L/G fics since 2003?
| Shay Virginia Shenzi chapter 3 . 9/17/2006
its great keep going
| bubonicweasley chapter 3 . 10/16/2005
not half bad! interesting story line, haven't read this particular twist before... keep it up!
| Nehfi-Tirri chapter 3 . 11/24/2004
hey, reat story... to bad you don't wite on it, it would be cool if you coutinued it ;D
| A Fan chapter 1 . 7/31/2004
I love this story! You have a great story line! I beg you to keep writing!
| Danni chapter 3 . 7/18/2004
You can' just stop there! Jimminy cricket, this is a damn good story. Please keep going.
| Firiel11 chapter 3 . 6/16/2004
Wow! That's quite a plot you have there. I never would have thought of anything like that! I hope you update soon, 'cause you've got me anxiously awaiting your next chapter.
| andromeda-malfoy chapter 3 . 5/25/2004
Wow, great story! Keep on writing!
| Trixie-Guest chapter 3 . 4/27/2004
Not bad... I really like the plot so far, it's an interesting and original idea for a fic, I'll definately continue reading it. But there's just something not quite right about how you wrote it. I think it would be an excellent story if you put more focus on your grammar and the way you word things. You include detail, but it just doesn't fit with what you're writing, like for example:
Nobody had ever kissed her hand before, and the formal behaviour of this, although known as brutal and cruel, sophisticated wizard made her feel like a three-year-old.
Reading that is rather confusing, because she is flattered that she has just gotten kissed formally, yet you put in "although known as brutal and cruel", it doesn't mix with it to make any sense. I don't quite know if you meant that Lucius is known as a brutal, cruel and sophisticated man, or if you meant the kiss was known to be brutal, cruel and sophisticated, or perhaps you even meant it as seperate sentances, like:
Nobody had ever kissed her hand before. Although known as brutal and cruel, the sophisticated wizard made her feel like a three-year-old.
But even then it doesn't make much sense, though I think I do know what you are trying to bring across, the words just dont mix well. I'm not saying this to make you feel like a bad writer, because you aren't, you're just learning, and thats great. I was exactly like this, and along the way I got hints and tips and I became better at writing. I just want to do the same for you so you get better. Though people say writing is a skill, it is not so simple. There comes practice, too.
But anyways, maybe you could've worded it like:
Nobody had ever kissed her hand before, and in such a formal manner like this; the well-known, cruel wizard made her feel like a three-year-old with his sophisticated behavior.
I dont know, that was just an example, perhaps that was not what you meant to get across to the readers, but at least it sort of got through, you know? Sorry if I sound really critical, I just want to help!
I would recomend Microsoft Word to do your writing in, it's like my savior. I've learned more from that program than I have from other writers. But if you'd like, you can email me your chapters and I can pre read it or whatever and help you out with the wording and stuff (I think the wording was the hardest for me too when I first started to write.)
Well anyways, I guess I'll talk to you later when the next chapter is up. _
| ferokeroberos chapter 3 . 4/20/2004
Please tell me you're going to finish this story it's so great. I mean, WOW, the thing about Arthur/Ardegeon so great...I'm putting you on my alert list