|Reviews for The Gods, And Their Toys|
| Sleeping-force's-inside chapter 1 . 2/2/2007
More! Please write MORE! PLEASE!
*makes very, VERY BIG puppy eyes*
| zagato chapter 1 . 11/18/2003
Great start! I have a feeling Persephone would appear soon.
| Ailsa chapter 1 . 10/19/2003
*reads your reviews*
Woah! Your first reviewer wasn't that friendly, was (s)he? No need to take the Zeus-older-than-Hades thing that seriously, everyone makes mistakes, right?
I think your fanfic is really cute, with a lot of humor that isn't taken too seriously. I love the thing about the doctors, even if Greek Doctors before Asclepius all sucked.
This fanfic reminded me a lot of a book I read in elementary school. I rememver it was a big children's book that was really colorful about the beginning of the gods. I think it was called The Gods and Goddesses of Olympus. Anyway, this really reminds me of it, especially the setting.
Though one thing I was wondering, even though most of these things were easy for the kids to understand, could you lay off the big words like "sentient," "aspirations, "Regime," because there are about 3 words like that in every sentence and it is kinda hard for me to understand (Hey, I go to a public high school and my English teacher is Chinese)
| Finwitch1 chapter 1 . 9/15/2003
As much as I like the story, one point to make: Greek god of war is Ares; Mars is the Roman version.
| Squirrel Maiden of Green chapter 1 . 8/30/2003
Hey, this looks like fun! I want more. One thing, though. Zeus was the youngest child of Cronus and Rhea, so, technically, Hades would be the older brother retreating from the lightning bolts. Just thought you might want to know.
| subliminality chapter 1 . 8/19/2003
Thanks for your input, like I said, I wanted honest answers. I was not aware that Hades was the eldest, and what does Hades rarely coming from the underworld have to do with anything? You obviously know much more than me on the topic of Greek mythology and I would really apreciate it if you could send me some resource links.
| Stokers of the Fire chapter 1 . 8/18/2003
Mhm. Right. Did you, by any chance, read a kid's book on Greek Myths and decide to write a story?
No...impossible. Even children's books cover the basic facts. This story, on the other hand, does *not*.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. This is by far not your worst problem. The little thing called "content" holds that place, and trust me, you don't get much more disgraceful to the Myths than this.
You managed to combine a two minute effort (I'm not giving you the benefit of a doubt...I'm doubting your ability to type.), terrible command of the English language, a total lack of knowledge of the Greek pantheon, and the entire content (or lack thereof) of what rests between your ears, and you did something with it.
Namely, you created a piece of..."writing"...that is better employed making fire to keep warm in a desert at noon than it is actually containing words.
You evidentally cannot handle the spelling of the simplest words and your grammar is atrocious. You should not write in a section until you have fully understood some simple facts about it.
Allow me to point out a simple one: Hades is the eldest of the brothers. Now, while you might not have known this, you might have heard of the story of Cronus swallowing his children? Well, if Zeus rescued them and then attacked Cronus immediately with help from his siblings, then obviously *he was the youngest*. "Logic" has oft been praised for its uses. Aquaint yourself with them.
Allow me to point out another. Only one person healed the dead, and that wasn't for a *long* time after. Or perhaps you would like to go into the fact that Hades was known to come out of his kingdom only very rarely? Should I name more?
And you call this a 'chapter'? I may have written more critiquing it than you have IN it, which is rather pathetic of you. Characterize your characters, give them depth, continue the plot, it *doesn't matter*. It's stupid to post something this short, not to mention utterly pointless.
As a sincere and caring reader, I believe I may speak for many when I say: Learn to write, please?