|Reviews for Paved With Good Intentions|
| nfrederi chapter 16 . 2/5
I love your writing and I always enjoy reading this story. Love the happy ending! (I especially like the fact that Mattie is no where to be you for that!)
| steamboat chapter 16 . 7/12/2013
I love your stories!
| alix33 chapter 10 . 2/11/2010
"she slid a hand over her shorts and tried to tuck her bra straps beneath her tank top." - I do not want to be mean to Mac, but I am somehow glad highly-decorated Marine officers have trouble with bra straps under tank top civvies too, like the rest of us mere mortals do.
| alix33 chapter 7 . 2/11/2010
"Other rumors whispered that it was direct order." - "was a direct order".
| alix33 chapter 5 . 2/11/2010
This whole chapter was IMO heartbreaking, and not the hugely, melodramatically screaming and shouting kind of heart-breaking: Quiet, yet in-a-bazillion-pieces kind of heartbreaking.
| alix33 chapter 3 . 2/11/2010
"she tried to breath shallowly in order avoid inciting the wrath of her ribs." - "breathe slowly".
"no personal effects other than a few hastily bought pieces of clothing purchased by an embassy employee on her behalf." - Here's hoping said embassy employee had at lest half-decent taste in clothes!
| alix33 chapter 2 . 2/11/2010
I had to pretend marry a CIA agent." "Excuse me?" Both eyebrows tracked a path high on her forehead. Although she tried to keep her voice light, shock rolled over her in a cold sick wave. "Well, you got to do it," he pointed out logically. "I didn't want to be the only kid on the block without a fake marriage to a CIA agent." "I can only hope it was a woman," she said solemnly." - Hehehe.
| alix33 chapter 1 . 2/11/2010
"The guard nodded again. He understood that sometimes Heaven wasn't an ethereal place in the sky peopled with angels. Sometimes, it was an American Embassy in the middle of Paraguay guarded by the Marines." - Hehehe.
| starryeyes10 chapter 16 . 10/6/2008
| eridani chapter 16 . 4/14/2005
I liked it alot. Maybe not so much as some of your others ones- all though the jury is still out on whether that's merely because I have a penchant for angsty endings. You style, as always, continues to amaze me- if you ever contemplated writing to be published, I would read it without a doubt. You seem to have a really thorough understanding of the human condition and the workings of these character's brains, which you convey so well to the reader. The only criticism (constructive, I hope) that I would offer is that sometimes your opening and closing metaphors for some of the chapters seemed a little... laboured/overwrought... I can't seem to find an accurate description... there was something about a couple of them that just seemed a little forced- cookies was good, tidal waves was good- not so keen on the butterflies or the peacock though. Maybe the commentary could have been better applied through an epigraph or something similar. I don't know- it's difficult to criticise something when you can't honestly offer a solution.
Anyway... enough rambling, I was pleasantly surprised by your ending. A solid happily ever after, without feeling plastic or perfect. Overall, great work. I look forward to reading more of yours.
| Alison chapter 16 . 8/15/2004
What an awesome story. I mean it, man. You are an amazing writer. The paragraphs at the beginning were awesome, too, the ones that didn't seem as if they had anything to do with what was happening in the story, but actually had everything to do with the story. That's a really good tactic, although I'm not sure you should do that for almost every chapter. The only chapter that I wouldn't cut that out of was the tsunami chapter. That was awesome at the end, where the scientists couldn't figure out why the tsunami was only six inches high. That was great. That was absolutely perfect for that chapter. Instead of ending with some unimportant sentimental and valueless statement, you ended with that, and it was so perfect.
What an amazing story. I especially loved this last chapter. Most fan fiction writers just write to fulfill some desire for a happy and perfect ending, which I don't mind. I've done that on occasion. But the very last chapter of your story fulfilled all that, and at the same time respected Harm and Mac's human qualities.
Your story had all the qualities of an actual, honest-to-God story. There was tension - sexual and otherwise - imperfection, angst, drama, and the plot didn't unfold too quickly or too slowly, either. On a scale of one to ten, I give you an eleven. You are going on my favorite authors list.
Although I am praising you because of my comparison of your story to the tens of thousands I have read here on , I think you would also be a great writer outside of the net. Have you ever written any fiction unrelated to TV or movies or books? You definitely should try it if you haven't, even though I have a suspicion that you have. You have the potential and the talent to be a great writer.
Thanks for sharing your work with us, the angst hungry public of . You should know that I am on my way to visit your author's page to see if you've posted any other stories.
I look forward to reading any future work you have.
| Alison chapter 5 . 8/15/2004
Ah! Man, if this had actually been a JAG episode, I think I would have cried. This actually would be a good JAG episode. Bellisario should get his script ideas from , man. It would make for some pretty angsty episodes.
| Maegmel chapter 16 . 10/5/2003
Very good. Loved ending. Sequel Please?
| Duckypantz chapter 16 . 10/4/2003
one word for this story : Beautiful. i absolutely loved your imagery and descriptions. i guess being an english major really paid off in the creative writing part for you. i had never read sex scenes, or at least the beginning part of them be so beautiful and timeless and not cliched. wonderful writing and i hope you continue with another story
| aserene chapter 16 . 9/12/2003
i love i love...this was a great story! i really didn't know if they'd be together but you certainly portaryed the saga of Harm and Mac very well. Congrats! Keep up the good work!