... woah. disturbingly good

Wow.

It's not often that I really *feel* my hair stand on my end, but you were certainly successful at provoking that particular reaction. A gripping, hauntingly vivid story - the sort that creeps up from behind, wrapping its icy tendrils about you before you know it. Beautiful and tainted as the voice of its narrator, who is proof that even the Firstborn can fall into darkness.

Ooh, that was brilliant! So deliciously spooky and removed. The last line was particuarly inspired; the love and hate was spine-shivering. The descriptions were excellent, both of the world and the mortal through the dead one's "eyes" as they studied each other. The detached observer status of the narrator fit perfectly, because he really is detached and can only watch-and lur his prey. It seems a strange word to stick on so dark a tale, but I have to say it was beautiful, because it truly was. The beauty made it all the more fascinating and creepy, because this was not your standard tale of dark and blatant evil. This was the corruption of time and a dark place on a spirit that had once been noble, but had lost all that centuries ago, and the lost nobility was as evident as the dark heart of the dead one. Amazing fic!

Oh wow.

Oh. My. Gods.

That is so perfectly gripping and creepy and fits in with the movie scene like a hand into a glove. Great use of language, there are so many phrases that are vividly descriptive and make my skin crawl: the "I like _your_ body", the "come closer" lure, the description of the corpse candles, the vague memories and the difference between the illusion Frodo sees and the reality hidden in the Dead Marshes.

And that last paragraph and last line! Wa! Leaves me speachless.

What an utter, utter shame: Only five reviews? Okay, number of reviews on ffn is usually in inverse proportion to the quality of writing. Still.

Oh, right: Extra adoration for using elvish words that I don't know from other fanfics. Love the term "the sickly" for mortals.

Creepy! I like it - are you going to take it a bit farther? It could get really twisted if you decided to expand it.

WEIRD! Yet way kool.

You are a talented writer.

It is not often on you find an author who can make the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

By far the most quietly terifying lines have to be when the voice is exposed for what it really is :

"Your cheek touches the surface of the water, breaking it, sending ripples of anticipation down into the depths. That is better, mortal, and if you come even closer I will whisper it in your ear. It is this: I do not like mortals..."

...

To warp a phrase of Tolkien to unrecognition, there definitely is a sentiment of looking fair but feeling utterly, utterly foul, which serves to set this morbid tale off perfectly!

I can just picture a sugary sweet voice disguising the bitterness underneath - and the mortal, the poor mortal, who clearly never stood a chance...

Good God, you are excellent at this "sinister" game, and for that you have received a place on my favourite author's list.

Wonderful!

Excellent! This really makes you realise that Frodo was probably just a few inches short of disaster in the Dead Marches. And that the Firstborn have as much potential for evil as for good.

Now I know what people mean when they say "Well, I *was* going to write something like that, but then I read your fic and realised that me even trying was utterly pointless."

That's how I feel now (in a good way, of course! :) ). You've expressed all the thoughts that were in my mind (and even some thoughts that were there but not fully realised before I read this), and done it much better than I could ever do. It's creepy and upsetting and all the things it should be.

"Does that surprise you, mortal, that one of the Firstborn has utterly forgotten love but remembers hate?"

*shudders*

Well done. :) It's wonderful.

~ Finwen