|Reviews for Cruel Kindness|
| Gaia Lao chapter 5 . 4/6/2012
Great to see you ended up finishing this story after all. :) It turned out great in the end, even better than I could have hoped for! Looking back at all these stories makes me nostalgic. Hope you're doing well in your retirement. If you ever need a grammar muse *pushes Gwen forward* feel free to drop me a line, but I say it's much improved. :)
| Puchiko Tsukino chapter 5 . 12/31/2005
first of all i want to apologize for leaving a really small review last time,
but i didn't have lots of time. I really liked this fic because it has two of my
favorite things: Ken Ichijouji and CSI. I loved how you developed this fic and
how you added a new and complex, very complex character, because even if she's
not a good sample it's not doubt that Cat is like that for all the things that
she went through in her past. My favorite part is when Ken is already a CSI; I
don't know why but when Ken discovers that the murder weapon is a pair of
scissors it reminded me of Grissom XD, but i liked the twist that the ending
had, i'm really sure that no one expected that the killer was the son instead of
the father, i assure you that it left me with my mouth open; i really like how
the fic was developing since the beginning 'till the end. Well, if it ain't a
bother i would love you to read a small idea i had for the continuation, if you
like you can send me a PM via Take care and h
Happy new year!
| Saiyoto chapter 5 . 12/28/2005
Oh my gosh, I'm going to faint *o* great ending _ at the last part i heard "ghost of you" by My Chemical Romance and it just clicked w I wish you luck in adapting this to a screenplay, i think i'll look great .
| Higashikaze chapter 5 . 12/28/2005
Wow, that's so sad! I hate it that Cat had to die, but I guess it had to be for a semi-happy ending. This is a really good fic, very detailed and very beautiful. I loved every bit of it.
One thing though, there were quite a few little typos throughout this chapter. It kinda interrupted the flow of the story, but it was still good.
| Juubi-K chapter 5 . 12/27/2005
Very good. I didn't mind waiting for such an excellent ending.
| Puchiko Tsukino chapter 4 . 10/25/2005
it updates fic please
| Higashikaze chapter 4 . 8/29/2005
Wow, this is great! I never harbored any bad feelings towards Yolei, but this...I like Cat better. I wonder how you're going to make it work out. It'll be sad either way. Poor Ken!
This is so well written, and so long. I love it! Since it's been some 7 months since you last updated, I hope you've at least -started- the next chapter.
| Iwanaga Tsumi Still Banned chapter 2 . 6/18/2005
For Chapter Two: "Hate the sinner but love the sin" there's only one:
1- She wanted nothing more than to run up to him, throw her arms around him and protect him from the world, but she knew she couldn't, she mustn't* and she literally felt her heart break._ Here's musn't.
For Chapter Four: "Moth to the flame" there aren't any grammar errors.
I hope I was helpful :). Take Care.
| Iwanaga Tsumi Got banned again chapter 1 . 6/7/2005
Well, I know I took soo much time but real life has been eating me :( I revised Chapter one: "Sunny days" and this is what I found:
1- She trailed her finger along his books stacked on his wooden bookshelf. "Lota* books here on the mind. You interested in psychology?"_ I think in here is Lotta.
2- A few minutes later, she immerged* from the bathroom in her gown and sat down next to him. She eyed his clothes and looked a little malcontented; "You’re going?"_And here is Emerged.
3- "What?" he stammerd* in disbelief, "Why? (This scene is form the ending x3)_Here goes Stammered.
I'll start on Chapter two a.s.a.p. I promise (Since now I'm free of work x3). And now some shameless advertisement! O: I have a Live Journal in here: (I know it sucks but when I saw Yours I wanted one too! ~Dies in shame~). Wait, I could have written all this logged in on Live Journal...~Really dies in shame!~ D:!
| Explanoite chapter 4 . 5/29/2005
Wow! I must say this story isn't quite what I was expecting, but that's not a complaint. I thought it would be a quick "Ken turns evil" story, but it's not a simple dark ending fic, but one with twists and an ending that I can't guess yet. But now for some concrete feedback.
The flow of the story is quite good, you write very nice sentences that are beyond "Ken does this. Ken does that. Ken says 'hi.'" It reads like a story, not a bare screenplay, which is a very good thing. I also see you don't litter the story with Author's Notes every paragraph or so, something many fanfic writers do, which really gets annoying and breaks up the flow of reading. Your characterizations seem to be great, though of course who can guess what anyone will be like in the future. And you manage to avoid one of the biggest mistakes I see here by proofreading your work. I don't think I've once had to stop and reread a sentence to figure out if you meant "now" or "know" or "that" instead of "the." Very nice. And finally, you have done something I have never once seen achieved here: you've created a smart, attractive, LOVABLE original female love interest for one of the males but did NOT end up having the male end up with her instead of the more canon pairing. Bravo! Of course, this is based on the assumption that Ken doesn't dump Yolei and marry Cat. If that's the case I don't criticise it, since it seems quite plausible.
And one more thing.
Finish this story!
| Iwanaga Tsumi chapter 4 . 4/9/2005
First of all, I just want to let you know this is only my opinion, my point of view of this fanfic. I really don't care if You flame me or something (Unless You report me with the mods of , it won't be the first time someone does that but my account can't take more banning so please, save yourself the time and try to take this as a constructive review). I'm doing this because I strongly think this fanfic has potential and it's not like the rest. You'll have to get a comfy chair and a cup of coffee because this will be a long ass ride.
I'll start with what I like about your fanfic. In the first chapter, it has a good begining. It developes in a way we won't get lost in the fanfic. The second one stands in the same standards of the first one, but has an agressive side. In my opinion is the strongest (in action, not content) chapter of all. The Kaiser side of Ken, in this chapter, can be seen almost in his fully expression. You did a great job with this side of him, a Kaiser you can see nowadays, not a Kaiser that was born of the minds of rabbid fans that acts like those saturday morning cartoons. Third chapter...it seems that You watch CSI too much (not a bad thing, I'm currently watching CSI: Miami and I like the series). Here we can see a Ken that denigrates his family, hiding in his job and his children are suffering the consequences (example of this is in the soccer play). The fourth chapter, a really exciting and frustrating one (in a good, i-wanna-let-u-in-suspense-for-months way). There's a lot of drama and a lot of flashbacks (inside joke here). How you related the murders with Catrina was amazing. You can't see a hole in the plot of that part.
NOW I'll tell you my critique of every chapter. First chapter, I don't buy the way Ken was corrupted by Catrina. It was too easy. If Ken having the experience of the Kaiser knows the difference between right and wrong, how he couldn't see and act on time against the influence of Catrina. Other thing that i really and completely don't like is the way you portraited Yolei (in this and several chapters too). She's suppose to be the Child of Love and Purity, traits that don't go with the characterization you gave her (well, in every fanfic the author does what she/he please, this is only my opinion anyway). In the second chapter, again with Yolei (but let's keep going with the review...). I don't have more "flames" (joking here too). of this chapter, I think this is a really good one. Third chapter, the sequence of crimes wasn't really explained (just a dead body appeared after the other), it could have been good because the fanfic would have a realistic twist. This chapter doesn't go like the other two chapters, you can see here more fiction (in comparison as how the fanfic was going before). I really don't like how he grow up in this chapter. You made him a compulsive (well, even more in the fourth chapter) with a really low force of will. Like I stated before, he has (in my eyes) low interest in his family (deep inside him, and this started thanks to living with Catrina's memory in his heart). Fourth chapter...You know, when I read a fanfic I let my mind and heart travel into it (as gayish that may sound). When I read this chapter I screamed, my stomach twisted, i was angry with everyone for a while (well, for 1 hour). Ken acts soo...stupid, You have something against Yolei (I guess, my opinion here). Like I said, that is NOT Yolei's natural behavior. In the fight they had at the end of the chapter she acted... I don't know how to explain it, but I really didn't liked that. I partly understand her, if I found out that I was living (after several years) in the shadow of someone that the person I love loved, I would be like hell but she just...I don't know, acted really...inmature. No more critics for this one (for now). If something comes to my mind I'll let you know (you know, typing is wearing me out a little). But just a small suggestion, if You're going to end another chapter like that, please tell people to get some punching bags, sedates or galons of alcohol before reading the ending.
Now I'll stop the flamming and I'll start with something most authors call "the childish part of my reviews", grammar errors. If You're going to be a good fanfic writer, You need good grammar. Right now I have only detected one small mistake (clapclapclapclapclapclap) in the third chapter: "He stepped into the room and found his eleven-year-old daughter sitting at her desk in front of her computer. Music was playing in the background; the artist was familiar to him. It was the same singer he'd heard in the car. A". Yes, believe it or not, there's an A at the end of this sentence. I'll write other grammar errors later (getting tired in here).
For now that's all. I'll try to re-read all four chapters to see what else needs to be corrected, flattered or criticized. Now if You excuse me, i have to buy some ointment for my fingers (I think this is at least two pages).
| 243Ash chapter 1 . 3/1/2005
I was about to add this to my C2, but I can't because it is rated R. Damn rules.
Even though this is not finished, I think it is great and thought it would be cool to add it. . . damn rules. . .
| Saiyoto chapter 4 . 2/28/2005
wah, it can't end there! *dies* x_x (good chapter _hope u cantinue it soon)
| LoveSovereign chapter 4 . 2/28/2005
Oh my gosh. . . is this an UPDATE?
Well, I like it. . . love it. . . ANOTHER UPDATE!
| Thedummie2 chapter 3 . 12/28/2004
UPDATE SOON! I DEMAND U TO UPDATE SOON!