|Reviews for Wish Upon A Star|
| ddddaaaae chapter 1 . 1/20
hey there: sesshomaruandrin . blogspot . com
sesshomaruandkagura . blogspot . com
| Carcrash87 chapter 27 . 9/18/2014
This fic was good but it did fall apart at the end the detail was not as good as the begging. If u want to improve more then keep the detail constant. And you have added the song and speak not just do a time skip. And I found it confusing was sesshomaru really youki and inuyasha was the only one described to have dog ears so that hinted at him being a half demon but u never clarified. Chapter28
| Carcrash87 chapter 28 . 9/18/2014
Awesome this was realllllllllllyyyyyyyy good:)
| Carcrash87 chapter 2 . 9/18/2014
This is awesome:) really wheel done poor little sesshomaru :'(
| Carcrash87 chapter 1 . 9/18/2014
Wow I just started and this amazing :)
| LoveForeverNow chapter 6 . 8/7/2014
Not meaning to sound like a jerk earlier but so far this is a good story. One of the only good highschool fics I've read.
| LoveForeverNow chapter 2 . 8/7/2014
Why is kanna speaking in sign and why was the anime subtitled? She's mute not deaf, she can clearly understand others just fine. If she lost her voice two years ago she should still have a well developed understanding of language and therefore not need subtitles. If kanna is signing to make her feel better, mention that.
| Ale chapter 1 . 7/3/2014
Hmmm...I read your profile before I read this story, so I don't even know if you want a review on this or not.
You seem very bitter towards your fans. I get that some are annoying and whiny, but I can't believe that every single one of them is.
Normally I tend to focus on the positives when I review while ignoring or glossing over the negatives. I suppose if you don't want any criticism on this, don't worry about reading it. It does sound like you already acknowledge a lot of it, though.
Before I begin, I must say that I am glad you haven't taken down your old fics. Even if they are embarrassing, it's a good reminder to yourself about how far you have managed to come (I assume since this chapter is the only thing I've ever read of yours).
Ok, first of all, you tend to be a bit repetitive in your language. You use names over and over again. You kinda changed this by changing Sesshoumaru to Sess, but I don't think that's a good idea since I can't recall anyone ever canonically referring to him as Sess. A better idea would be to use descriptors. Like the dog demon (which idk if he is one here, but it's just an example).
You name a lot of street names and other non-important details. I did find some of the street names to be clever, but in the flow of this story they just felt like unimportant details that did not add much to the story. For example, they live at 1307 Arrow St. Why does it matter to the reader to know the exact address of fictional characters. It could have importance, for all I know it does, but I would be willing to bet that it does not. The same applies to the book that Sesshoumaru was reading (RotK). Unless the details (like street titles/book titles/anime titles) have meaning to the story, it's not necessarily important to tell the reader. I feel like you picked titles that you enjoy rather than thinking about the characters here. For example, you take the effort to talk about how Sesshoumaru has to be perfect all the time, etc, but then when he goes to his room he reads a 'for fun' book. It doesn't flow along with the already established character. He should be doing homework or reading something related to his established image of working towards perfection.
Some parts struck me as odd, like when Rin went upstairs, showered, went downstairs, grabbed her diary, then went back upstairs. All of this in two sentences. If something is important, please focus on putting more detail into the event to either add something to the character or to the story. If the detail is unimportant, leave it out.
There is a lot more that I could say, but, like I mentioned earlier, I'm unsure if you even want to hear anything about this story at this point. I tried to focus on things that might help improve your writing as a whole. Take it or leave it, it doesn't really matter to me. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the greatest of writers myself.
I came to this story because I actually like Inuyasha (the anime and the manga) and because this story was listed in someone's favorites and sounded interesting enough to try. Normally I'd wait and review at the end, but I'm a slow reader (sorry) and wanted to review while I still had the energy to write something long and somewhat meaningful.
Don't be discouraged by the fangirls/boys who review. Many just want you to know that they appreciated the story and they don't know how to say it more eloquently. I, personally, am very interested to see where the story progresses from here. I do see flaws in the writing, but, at this point in the story, they are not glaring enough to deter me from reading about what could potentially be a very interesting story.
Thanks for writing this story. Even if you no longer like it, I'm sure there are others (like myself) who will enjoy reading it regardless.
Have a nice day. I hope that my comment is not regarded in an angry way simply because it's on one of your past works. I wish you the best in all your future writing endeavors.
| Moongirl12121 chapter 5 . 5/29/2014
Gomen, Sesshomaru acting this way is painful.
| Moongirl12121 chapter 4 . 5/29/2014
So there are demons in this story, I was a little confused.
Seriously though, Sesshomaru-sama would never take Kagura's shit. It's very unnerving to imagine the stoic, perfect Lord of the West stuttering and being anything but cold or arrogant to Kagura.
| Moongirl12121 chapter 3 . 5/29/2014
Well that isn't creepy at all that Sesshomaru-sama knows where she lives. His extreme OOCness is still getting to me though...
| Moongirl12121 chapter 2 . 5/29/2014
Okay, why is Sesshomaru-sama so... OOC? It's refreshing to not have him be all 'I hate everyone and nothing can change that blah blah' but this is a little weird. I do like the depth you gave him though, the flashback was touching, and sad.
| Moongirl12121 chapter 1 . 5/29/2014
Cool cool, Sesshomaru-sama isn't exactly a cold-hearted ass. Koga-sama is his friend? That's a new one I like it.
Why the crap does Sesshomaru-sama play the /trumpet/ though? Couldn't he play the saxophone or something? He's not the kind of person I can picture playing such an instrument as the /trumpet/.
Rin-dono... That's so sad. It's interesting though, and doesn't make sense as to why she herself won't speak. Is it because she watched her sister being killed, and had to force herself silent so that she wouldn't be killed too, and the silence hadn't left even when the danger was over?
| TheNewBlueMoon chapter 28 . 2/1/2014
I liked it. It was good
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/31/2014
I really like this cute and aforable. Tho dressy was a bit out of character. I really love it. I hope you write another fan fiction again. Your sucha great writer