|Reviews for Persephone|
| Archaic Tears chapter 45 . 6/25
Reading this gave me some closure. Thank you for adding this and allowing us a glimpse into what you had imagined for this story. Every couple of years I check here and on a whim I saw this and thought to myself, "oh she updated, yay!" And the update was worth it. So again, thank you. Rest easy you worked hard and did your best. Enjoy life and congratulations on your marriage!
| Navarth chapter 45 . 5/16
I'll be straightforward here, and I hope you don't think this is incredibly presumptuous. Your story is the best fanfic I'm ever read, and the only one that I'd actually qualify as literature; that is, really good even if divorced from it's fanfic roots.
That being said, I see what you mean about you "breaking" your story. Then I got to wondering if there was any way it could be fixed, and I came up with what might be a relatively solid idea. Would you be willing to let me have a shot at finishing your story? I would gladly submit outlines, drafts, samples, whatever, for your approval, or any changes you think necessary. Your story just deserves to be finished so much, and it would be a great challenge for me.
If you'll give me a chance, I'll be extremely grateful; if you think this is beyond the pale, I totally understand.
P.S. When I get inspired, I can churn out 1,000 words a day, so I'd be able to give you fairly consistent material.
P.S. I've had various neurological ills throughout my adult life (primarily epilepsy) which has severely limited my ability to stay up all hours and write. Your experience strikes a chord, and that's part of the reason I decided to write this, other than the inherent merit of Persephone.
| Guest chapter 45 . 5/8
Wow... is it petty that I just was curious about your AN? I haven't read the story but I love the way you reflect about it... I probably will not read it because I hate unfinished stories, but I just wanted to say kudos to you and I hope you write some original work and publish it some day :)
| Lylabeth 1 chapter 45 . 2/14
As the mother of an abused daughter pulled in by a sociopathic narcissist I can tell u men who abuse in this wY do not change. Cut your losses with this story and write something totally new that does not involve abuse. Unless u have experienced it yourself there is no reAl understanding this kind of relationship and what the victim endures. It belittles the characters thT so many love to make Jareth into a psychopath.
| gh0sty chapter 45 . 2/8
Hello! I have not read your fic. I just watched Laby for the first time ever tonight. But when I found this, realized it was incomplete, and then saw your letter chapter (this one), I was compelled to read it. I, like many other writers, started stories years and years ago when I was very young and something pulled at me to read your words.
Thank you for saying these things that needed to be said. I know exactly what you mean. There are so many ships and pairings that try to follow a D/s dynamic but do it in an unhealthy, romanticized-abusive way. Many young girls cling to these stories, as they give you the fulfillment and satisfaction of strong and heartaching conflict with the safety net of a happy ending. The ends justify the means. So what if there is a lack of consent, and outright (albeit typically misunderstood) cruelty? He loves her, she loves him, their love will save him, she is actualized as a female so good and with so much good love (and the reader gets to vicariously live through it), and everything turns out just fine in the end. It is so, so difficult to write this well and safely. This idealistic scenarios are painfully rare. And they frequently teach those reading the stories that they are okay - the abuse is normalized. I was one of these people, and I will not get back the three years of my life that I spent believing that my boyfriend truly loved me underneath his terrifying and controlling temper.
I just wanted to say that you are so kind, and so brave for saying these words. I know how horrible of a feeling it is to have stories swirling around in your gut, but you just don't have the time or the spoons to churn them all out. I have major depression and CFS, and things can be a chore. But thank you for saying all of the things you said. I've only "known" you for half an hour, but I really look up to you, and I hope I can be half as great as you when I'm your age.
| Immortal Ice chapter 45 . 1/4
| Schwielala chapter 45 . 12/8/2014
WOW! I can't believe you finally came back! I think I started reading back in 2006-2007-ish (so I was 17-18, now I'm 25) , and this became my all-time favorite Labyrinth fan-fiction! I honestly loved your take on the romanticized power play/abusive relationship between Jareth and Sarah. I agree that in real life, abuse is never never never never okay while at the same time, with certain characters (like J/S) in fiction, I like the dynamic of them fighting each other. I do also get conflicted over it though, and I have a hard time finding fiction that doesn't overdo it or cross the line into "eehhh...I don't think I like where this is going..." I also never want Sarah to give up or give in. As much as my inner fangirl wants them to jump on each other, having them actually together, ESPECIALLY if they're together too quickly just ruins it all. I guess it's a similar situation to enjoying the chase. Too often, I try to start a new Labyrinth fic (although honestly it's not something I do very often to begin with), and I'll be so hopeful for it...and then it just becomes way too unbelievable when Sarah suddenly returns his feelings, and next thing you know, they're popping out "heirs." NO! T_T
SO, when you say how you have so many words without actually getting anywhere...to me it was great. I honestly love it that way. Maybe I'm just crazy, haha!
Aside from the J/S, even if you say you didn't understand it yourself, I really enjoyed the Labyrinth world you created. It really gave it that extra oomph. I liked the chapters where Sarah was just lost in the Labyrinth running into new creatures. It was really exciting!
ALSO aside from the story, I really loved your writing style! It's hard for me to really get into a story when the writing is getting in the way. I really like descriptive writing, where I know the thoughts and the feelings, and it's not so matter-of-fact-ly put. I don't want to feel like someone is narrating a story to me...I just want the story to happen, and I want to exist with it as it unfolds.
SO, if you ever do write again and wish to share it/if you ever have published stories, I would love to know!
I am so so so so so so grateful to you for writing this letter! For at least a couple years, I had this story saved in my bookmarks that I would check daily. As time went on with no sign of you logging in, I checked less often...but I still would now and then, just in case. Aside from wanting the story to continue, I honestly was worried about you. Even though I don't really know you, I was hoping that you were okay. I knew from your updates that you had issues with health, so after years went by, it had me worried. By now it's been so long that I'm honestly more excited to see that you're alive and well, than I am to see that you "updated" with story info. I had to do a double-take when I checked the last updated date and it didn't say "09." I thought it had to be a glitch! I'm so glad I was wrong!
| Hermonthis chapter 45 . 11/26/2014
Thank you for giving us, your readers, this letter. I don't know if you recognize the sort of effect this story has on the fandom because it is still being recommended. It's the type of story you don't easily forget. I know I never forgot. Reading your words is a great gift because it shows us what you, the author, intended to write. You shared your personal revelations about the story.
I wish you health and happiness :)
| TheBrokenWarrior chapter 45 . 11/21/2014
While I see your point about the abusive relationship, and I see how cumbersome another 200,000 words would be, I'd like to say at least one thing in favor of the way your story is built - a difference it has from so many other J/S stories.
The story's length gave me a chance to learn more about the characters, to know them, and to see them as real. Many other fanfictions I've read just rush through talking and dancing and eating to get straight to the bedroom scenes. I feel as though your characters are realistic, consistent, and believable.
I guess I'd just like to say that whether or not you finish it, reading this was an enjoyable experience for me, and through all the reading I've done, this is still my favorite Labyrinth story. :)
| Guest chapter 45 . 11/20/2014
As my entire family suffers from varying degrees from EDS and my husband actually also developed that tic you mentioned from a bad chemical reaction to an old prescription... I have a lot of sympathy and wish you all the best. EDS is a very trying thing and it's almost impossible to explain to people how even when you feel healthy you just can't trust your own body to carry you through the day sometimes. But you know all about that. You're the only other person I've ever "met" that has this and it's interesting.
I will also have to say that I enjoyed this "chapter" immensely. I remember trying to start reading this fic a few times and it left a bad taste in my mouth almost immediately due to some of the character interactions so I never finished reading (after finishing is the only time I leave reviews, typically). Thank you for explaining something that reconciles some of the problems I saw and good luck to you on your future adventures.
| Guest chapter 45 . 11/8/2014
Hey, it's interesting that you should write these things. I've always liked Christine and Raol together, not Christine and the Phantom, for exactly those same reasons: feeling an emotional attachment to someone is not the same as loving that someone. That attachment doesn't make up for mistreatment and a lack of caring (the Phantom), unlike a relationship based on friendship and affection (Raol). And I had thought to myself that I didn't really see how Jareth and Sarah were going to end up happy in your story until Jareth let her go (and good for Sarah for holding out for that). I agree that no healthy, profound, lasting relationships can happen based on such a horrible premise.
That being said, I'm sad that your story will end unfinished. I like your writing style, and I was curious to see how things turned out. Personally, I think he needs to let her go home, mount an honest and (it is to be hoped) bloodless revolution to help his people, become High King, and make laws protecting women and children so that they're not seen as chattel in the Underground. Oh, and be a real friend to Sarah. But those are only my thoughts. :0)
Either way, God bless. I pray that your body continues to strengthen and heal up. Thanks for writing.
| Era Dubois chapter 45 . 11/6/2014
Do not be so hard on the story because it is not what you think it is. You admit that in this letter. You became Sarah as the story progressed and the other characters followed suit. Before anyone jumps on a bandwagon I am not accusing Xavier Jade of "Mary Sue." Jareth stopped being Jareth in this story, that's what so many readers who say he is so dark or sooo off are feeling. Jareth is now the syndrome that is keeping you from living a "normal" mortal life and fulfilling all of the wonderful dreams and plans you had when you were fifteen. Allowing you only to have so much freedom to do basic work chores and sometimes go out on outside adventures with your romantic interest; your husband. (Congratulations by the way). That cruel Jareth you have now immortalized in black and white is the cold winter and blind anger that you can sense in the fact that the ailment you now suffer can be summed up in the immortal words of this Fandom: But that's not fair.
I wish you the best of luck in any recovery you can achieve (I am not sure what type of recovery is available in this case) and hope you have the happiest of lives with your caring husband, it sounds like you found yourself a keeper.
| Era Dubois chapter 35 . 11/4/2014
I understand that there are great big gaps in the story telling when it comes to when you wrote it but the mood shifts and character models feel a bit jarring. Jareth now seems more likely when one views the movie and sees how he acts towards those he is displeased with but even then Jareth seems to be hamming it up for the overly dramatic fifteen year old he has to entertain and educate on the hard and simple truths of life in thirteen hours or less. Then there is the insecure a bit too overprotective for his own good Jareth that was shown in Navarre. If you had stayed with cruelty and peppered in snippets of insecurity then any revelation of character on his part would have been smooth, believable and, quite frankly, much easier to write as you would not need to force any emotion or leave the audience confused or feeling a form of interrupted catharsis. It is a wonderful story, don't get me wrong, I just think it could have been more uniform by possibly allowing new stories to take on the newer voice you found and maintaining an older if rougher style for it's corresponding pieces. Sorry that it seems you won't be finishing it based on the note but I felt a real review from me was do.
| Era Dubois chapter 34 . 11/4/2014
I never saw Jareth so Under My Thumby but I guess it works for this version of him.
| Era Dubois chapter 31 . 11/1/2014
lined through with red veins would have flowed better than 'dotted'