|Reviews for The Days After: Ryouga's Journey|
| Baitdcat chapter 1 . 1/22/2008
You're good at this! please don't stop. You've got me hooked!
| Mats Forsen chapter 7 . 2/10/2007
This was a very nice ryouga story. :)
| Kazhdu chapter 7 . 2/8/2006
I read your story both here and on your own site, and I absolutely love it! Unfortunately, it seems to kind of end here. Will there ever be new updates? It would be great if your could finish it.
Hope to read you soon.
| swartzvald chapter 7 . 1/28/2006
Finish! Finish! Finish! seriously.
| Talantus chapter 7 . 8/20/2004
hahahah can'T find the exit of a closet...hahahaha...
anyway... X-over with tenchi muyo? sweet will we get to see teh cat fight between ryoko and ayeka ? i hope so ! when will ryoga get cured? aauugghh i got so many questionsd... the only way to answer them all is for you to writte more so please Updates! ;)
from the self-philosopher, talantus
'' word are sources of knowledge, but is is up to you to understand them''
| Lily chapter 7 . 11/11/2003
Well...I can say I love it more than any other Ranma fic I've read so far ,even if the fics I read aren't many.
I hope there's more. U c, I'm kinda like a Ryoga fan and there's very few long Ryoga fics.
Oh well...just keep up the good work.
| gyuumajo chapter 7 . 9/30/2003
that was such a great read! 7 chapters at a go & it left me hungering for more~
O_O u *R* gonna put up more, aren't u?
| Patirick chapter 7 . 9/1/2003
“Finally he stood up strait pulling his umbrella onto his shoulder
The young man half screamed, half roared as he suddenly sat strait up in the bed, his eye wide open in shock, and fear
Ryouga sighed and raised his umbrella once again and jabbed it strait at Tenchi causing him to fumble his attack when it connected unexpectedly
Tenchi was unprepared to defend himself in his rush to attack and the umbrella was aimed strait at his solar plexus.”
Again straight vs strait.
““Yeah… but all they did was argue and fight. I didn’t think they would ever be happy together, and she disserved better than him.”
“Well… not really…. That was the problem… she disserved better than me too….””
Deserved vs disserved?
“Ryouga sighed, “To many distractions I guess…. I spend most of my time traveling alone, so it’s not that I haven’t had plenty of time, but other things just seemed more important
The old man sighed, “Yes, yes, I suppose, but you worry to much.”
Too vs to.
Well, you’ve taken the story to an unpredicted turn. Ultimately I think Ryoga is tied to Ranma to learn though simply because he’s one of the few people that’s on or at Ryoga’s skill level, the two being Cologne and Happi.
| Patirick chapter 6 . 9/1/2003
“From his new position he swept at Ukyou’s feet, but was surprised when she flipped over him bringing her combat-spatula strait for his head from behind.
Ryouga blushed, “Well… I don’t really remember much more…. All I really know is that I was drunk for what turned out to be nearly two weeks strait….””
Straight vs strait.
““That’s to much!” Ukyou choked out still laughing”
Too vs too.
| Patirick chapter 5 . 9/1/2003
“Ukyou knew she had no chance of breaking free of the iron-grip that felt like it was crushing her petite forearms, but far to late she realized that Ryouga had reared back for a head-butt as he grabbed her wrist.
Ryouga sighed, “Actually, the green shirt and kaki cargo pants weren’t to bad.”
In both cases too instead of to?
“Your not weak.
Your really lucky to have found someone like him
Ryouga sighed, “Your not gonna be able to find the way back until morning are you?””
Your needs to be you are or you’re.
“The pair continued to walk down the road in silence, but both where feeling much better.”
Where should be were.
““Well I was wondering,” he began to fidget nervously, “since we have all this time and all… of coarse you don’t have to if you don’t want but… I was just kinda thinking that you might kinda… well… that it might be nice if… um….”
Ukyou didn’t like the question, “Of coarse!”
Of coarse, I got lost on the way over there and ended up accidentally helping to wreck their wedding.”
“Of coarse you. Why did you think we came in here?””
I was always under the impression that it was of course not of coarse.
““Well I was wondering… what ever happened to that girl who loves pig… Unryuu Akari?””
“I’ve never had a chance to do the things normal high school girl do.”
Shouldn’t it be what a normal high school girl does?
Again all relatively minor errors.
| Patirick chapter 4 . 9/1/2003
“That’s to much!” Ukyou exclaimed still laughing.”
Too much perhaps? Sorry to be a fault finder, but I always like these type of simple errors being pointed out, so my master copy is better.
| Patirick chapter 2 . 9/1/2003
“Geez. You idiot, can’t you even walk strait down a hall?
She couldn’t think strait.
She couldn’t think strait, and she couldn’t muster the energy to collect herself, and start to head back to her house, but all of that disappeared when she felt two strong hands squeeze her shoulders, and lift her to her feet.”
Again I think strait should be straight.
Strait- A narrow channel joining two larger bodies of water. Often used in the plural with a singular verb. A position of difficulty, perplexity, distress, or need. Often used in the plural: in desperate straits.
Straight- Extending continuously in the same direction without curving: a straight line, Perfectly horizontal or vertical; level or even: The mirror isn't straight, Direct and candid: a straight answer.
As for content, it’s not very hard to see where you are going with the story. You write very well and your descriptions are detailed without laboring the point. My only real concern would be humor, or rather lack thereof. (Something I struggle with myself.) It may not be a goal in your story at all, but I guess the story loses some critical element without it in my opinion.
| Patirick chapter 1 . 9/1/2003
“He had wanted to yell some insult about having no honor, but he couldn’t really think strait, and he was sure he couldn’t spare the air anyway.”
“He would never expect me to come strait though. “
In both cases, strait should be straight? A minor error but I thought I’d mention it.
| Grengo chapter 1 . 8/31/2003
Yeah! I remember this story from quite a ways back on the site. The Ryoga Perfect ShiShiHokodan Gif was cool...anyway, a great effort was made in this story and it shows promise. Good grammar, characters are pretty much IC (Still could use a little work, though), and an interesting story. For some reason though, although it says seven chapters in the front, there's only one chapter up. Oh well...I won't go any further so as not to reveal anything from the story so...keep it up.
| Mr. Clark chapter 1 . 8/31/2003
Hey, this is actually a really good story, though you might want to accept anonymous reviews, as most people are lazy and don't like to sign in. Anyways, keep up the great work.