Reviews for Memories
blueeyesdarkmagic chapter 3 . 5/17/2014
he is the ceo he runs everything
The-Pain-Of-A-Lost-Soul chapter 10 . 4/5/2006
i loved it it was cute
Little Karma chapter 3 . 7/1/2005
i love it
mandapandabug chapter 10 . 9/26/2004
this is a very good fic with a great moral. and that's what really counts_ but i just have to say that some memories are good to keep. like in the book The Giver it's a good thing to have memories. yeah i'm done. review you later_
Flame Swordswoman chapter 7 . 7/13/2004
Are you gonna update this? Please do, it's really good!
Crumpled Piece Of Paper chapter 9 . 1/25/2004
I like it keep writing you are doing a great job! read& review my stories also thanks._
MadamGoldEyes chapter 9 . 1/17/2004
ya know. i aint readin your fanficcy anymore. cause you lied. I saw no parent day in this chapter. You is a evil being and..and..kaiba curses you. SO THERE.
Youkai youko chapter 8 . 12/2/2003
great chapter.
I hope you do the next soon
rox-the-chaotic-one chapter 8 . 11/10/2003
hmm...Joey's 'great plans' scare me...well, Really good! Keep it up!
heath 999 chapter 7 . 10/16/2003
Really cool story! I love it!
Kayrie chapter 7 . 10/15/2003
Great job on the story line. :)

However, you have some things to fix.

Your sentences are choppy, and you tend to over use names in the paragraphs. A way to fix it is simple.

Before: Once they got there, they headed to their lockers that were located in the hallway beside the classroom. Once they had put the stuff in the lockers, they went into the classroom.

After: Once they got there, they headed to their lockers that were located by the classrooms, and after depositing their stuff in the lockers, entered the classroom.

See the difference?

Next, you need more commas in strategic places and to delete unnecessary ones (also known as 'comma splicing.'

Lastly, work on POV. Granted, it is subtle, but there.

I recommend a beta reader (editor, proofreader, same thing), and before posting, make sure they catch all the errors they possibly can.

Ja ne!
Youkai Youko chapter 7 . 10/15/2003
great story.

I hope you do more soon.
Icy Embraces chapter 7 . 10/15/2003
Icy Embraces chapter 6 . 10/15/2003
Only 7 chapters? Aww...*sniffle*I hope in the next one we get to see what the parents say or Seto!*glomps Seto*
Icy Embraces chapter 5 . 10/15/2003
Yeah...I can't wait to hear what you have to say Oh yeah Kaiba works for Research and Development I think...
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