Reviews for Lone Child
Vampireking40 chapter 15 . 5/3
Two things about this chapter. The first is when you mention the Gryffindor team you list Creevy but wasn't he sorted into Hufflepuff instead of Gyffindor. The second his Lilly say that Harry won the game exactly when did he catch the snitch.
Vampireking40 chapter 13 . 5/3
Well that is a surprise for Ginny to be a snake and Draco to have animagus form of a dinosaur.
Vampireking40 chapter 12 . 5/3
So was the diary planted on Ginny.
Vampireking40 chapter 11 . 5/3
So who won the house cup. We know the Slytherin won the quidditch cup.
Vampireking40 chapter 4 . 5/3
Its interested that Randal would be a Gryffindor when his father was a Slytherin seeing that it was Sirius who was the lion.
Vampireking40 chapter 2 . 5/3
Having already read the first 9 chapters and Lone Child Second Edition I can already see a little difference one being Lilly being the one to sign the letter and the second James having claws like Wolverine from X-Men.
ironrow chapter 1 . 4/27
This isn't a review but a comment on the other reviews.
I'm going to say this with as much class as possible. Don't you ever in your life tell someone else that their story is trash. If you have criticism give it constructively don't tell them to stop writing cuz you don't like the changes they made. The whole point of fanficion is to change the original story. Don't put other people down over small things.
Kreivan Reyhers chapter 33 . 8/28/2017
Great fic so far though a female Pegasus is a mare, pegasi are multiple pegasus or a herd
CloakedDarkness chapter 49 . 8/26/2017
This is the most badly written crap I've seen in a long time, not only do you completely rip-off items (Marauders map), you completely ignore any information about character names and traits. ABERFORTH IS A DUMBLEDORE! HERMIONE'S MIDDLE NAME IS JEAN! Srlsy this is a good plot but you are so goddamn lazy it ruins the whole story. One word of advice; QUIT fanfiction since I really don't think this crap qualifies as one
Guest chapter 40 . 5/28/2017
You need to stop with American tripe you keep chucking in.
Harry is British, therefore he would say Mum not Mom. Only American's say Mom because they have a need to be special.
Another one was 'Sorcerers Stone'. That one almost made me vomit since it was only changed for Americans because they needed to be special snowflakes.
Guest chapter 10 . 5/27/2017
I give up. You need to take lessons on how to write properly the more lessons on how to write fanfiction.
Guest chapter 7 . 5/27/2017
1. 'Hunter's Map'? What a blatant rip off of the Marauders map, with even the clearing phrase being the same. At least explain where is came from, who made it and that is was inspired by the other map.
2. Basilisk venom is deadly, a single drop will kill you. Lily Potter would be dead by now if she had been poisoned before.
Guest chapter 6 . 5/27/2017
Quirrel's name is Quirinus not Jack. No parent would be stupid enough to name their kid Jack if they had a name like Quirrel.
Guest chapter 5 . 5/27/2017
1. You are lazy and would be better off not labeling this as 'FanFiction' most of it is fiction since you are barely using anything canon.
2. Hermione's middle name is Jean.
3. Hermione's nickname is stupid and now she is no longer Hermione Granger since you changed her name to 'Kat'. At least use Mione or something. (Herm, Hermy, Hermies, Mine, Mina, the list goes on)
Guest chapter 4 . 5/27/2017
Wow, James is such a Mary Sue!
I mean you give him a weird name (Shadow isn't normal by any standard), a bunch of powers that really negate the need to go to Hogwarts and a tragic backstory where he was abandoned for something that wasn't his fault.
Total Mary Sue! (if he were a girl that is, sadly most wouldn't agree with me since he is Male and people have double standards with this kind of thing)
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