|Reviews for Ill Fitting|
| starrrz chapter 1 . 5/19/2009
Poor Debbie. This ficlet really pulled at my heartstrings, esp the way she apologises for not being able to live up to her mum's expectations.
| piratingelvenpyro chapter 1 . 3/21/2006
aw how sad!
| writerdude3000 chapter 1 . 12/11/2004
this is really sad. but amazing!
| triffickie chapter 1 . 11/29/2003
Well I noticed no one had reviewed this, so I thought I'd have a go. :]
I liked Billy Elliot a lot and I also liked every character in it, including Debbie.. I would've liked to like this fic as well, but overall it lacked of something.. Something.. Umm, maybe I was looking for a paragraph to take a slightly more in-depth look on her feelings. Also, her quite corny lines, "What about me mum?" being one, kind of made me ponder, would she say this? Would this character act like this at all.
I believe she could. Her mother seems to be more critisizing of her than the other children, obviously. But how Debbie responds to this, especially as she's becoming a teenager with mood swings and what not, she might not be so silent and apologising. I mean, from what we saw from the movie, she can be pretty spunky. And out-spoken at least with Billy.
But enough about characterization, let me review your writing. I think you're fairly good and probably improving a lot. You tend to mention interesting details and I liked it how you mentioned "a worn patch on her jacket" twice. It points out very nicely that it's relevant to the story, to Debbie's feeling. Or if not very relevant, certainly not irrelevant. I'm guessing you can describe things very well, but in my opinion you don't use that enough. A paragraph or two of that would've described the world of this fic well. How she sees herself in the mirror was good, but could've been a little bit longer. I was hoping for images you use in writing like, "...until they blurred and bled into one creamy, red mess".
Anyway, I think I've said enough. Cute fic, but could've been better. I've only read a few Billy Elliot fics so it was refreshing to read one again. :]