Reviews for War in our veins
Guest chapter 19 . 5/27
Good story. About 1/3 longer than required for the plot and characterizations, but editing is boring, I know. Still, every 10,000 words you cut would save dozens of people lots of time.
Guest chapter 16 . 5/27
Before I forget to mention it, in both of these stories I've seen you use "that" for plural, when you should use "those." I'm not sure you know the word "those," so perhaps you should research it.

You've used gaping in this story at least 50 times counting the first story and this sequel. That's more than I've read in my entire life, reading a minimum of 8 -16 hours for more than 50 years. Try substituting the word staring, which is common everyday use in English and will not "stick out like a sore thumb." There are slight differences, and most of your uses of gaping are really odd.
Saint Snape chapter 19 . 3/27/2014
I really enjoyed this story and I loved you brought Lily back. I liked your version of Lucius also. Great original characters and a unique story. Hope you write more.
Phoenix1592 chapter 19 . 3/30/2012
well done.

even thought there wasn't a dramatic ending with regards to the demise of Tom, his end was certainly not peaceful
Alfa Wolfcub chapter 19 . 10/10/2011
First off before I forget, this story isn't marker complete. I never read non-complete stories unless it's the end of a really good series, so unless you meant to do that, you should fix it. But to the better part of my review. I really liked all three of your stories and hope you keep on writing more.
AJ Picard chapter 19 . 4/22/2011
Very Good story i hope you write more stories like this soon.
Saissister chapter 19 . 4/14/2011
Demented Vampiric Zombie chapter 17 . 11/25/2010
"Serp, I'll buy you a cloak with "I am the Heir of Slytherin" written on its back!" – snaps Severus. "Or I'll buy three…" – he smiles wickedly. "Or maybe I'll buy for Lucius, Draco and myself ones with "Yes, I was a Death Eater, I admit that so fuck off and don't whisper behind my back!" It'd fit our situation better."

"I want "I'm not a zombie!"" – sighs Lily. "And "Stop gaping at me like that, I won't kill you!""

"Good idea." – says Draco with a wry smile. "I want one with I want "I'm not a zombie" and "I was a Death Eater but I won't eat you alive.""

"Because I prefer you fried." – adds Lucius and they all burst out with laughter.

This is probably my favorite dialog from any fanfic I've ever read.
gennastar chapter 19 . 9/11/2009
I tried hard to take your story both parts lightly. I find at the end I still want to quibble over a few points/questions you made in this story.

There is light and dark for a reason. Whatever creation story you believe, you must believe there is a reason for most things. If light and dark exist for a reason and rules work to keep a system in place, people who work outside of that system have chosen a path which will be perilous for 'true' believers.

The way you set up the crimes of the Aurors and placed the dogs of War or other system outcasts in direct opposition to each other reminds of me Ayn Rands belief about the world. It just doesn't compute. If the world operated in direct opposition to one another, it would be overturned more or less. I accept the premise that traitors become such because they have finally had enough with the system they belong to. I don't accept the premise that they held true to different beliefs at different times and/or change that dramatically. Instead I think it is the beliefs that bind a person to course of action in or outside a system whether or not the system becomes untenble.

The sequel was much more concise than the original. I enjoyed sifting through your thoughts.
LillianaSnape212 chapter 19 . 11/21/2008
I didn't realize this story was so old. I just read it now and I absolutely loved it! It put a smile on my face at the end. Great job!
Ahmira Zaraelys chapter 19 . 7/17/2008
OMG this was amazing too! Thank you for the wonderful read.
wolfzmasterz chapter 19 . 10/6/2007
hey i loved that stroy a lot and i will look at some of your other stuff you are a ood writer so read ya later byb
Moffo chapter 19 . 8/17/2006
Both Blood Ties and War in our veins are in my oppinion two fantastic stories. Both are well written, I did catch one or two spelling errors though, no offense ;-)

The thing that really appealed to me, was the plot.. I'm quite sure that the plot is one of the best, if not the best plots I've seen. I've read better written stories, yes.. but seeing that this is your third story, I'd say you are a fantastic writer. Your way of writing is way above normal standard, if you watch most stories that are on and similar pages.

Continue writing, I'd love to see more of these fantastic stories

Siri02 chapter 19 . 5/22/2006
:) That was REAL nice! The ending was great too - especially that Revenge on Vernon part. ;)

Can't wait to read more fics from you!

Blue Werewolf Boy chapter 19 . 10/21/2005
Awsome Stroy, this was one of the two of the best stories i ahve read. The other one being Blood Ties, your other story before this one. Please start writing again.
242 | Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »