Reviews for Mononokehime Continuation
Preacher chapter 4 . 9/26/2003
Once again, very quality material you're creating here. It's irritating in that I've had a few of the same ideas you have- for example, how exactly San would think in regards to fire- and haven't been able to yet put them down on paper. Now, I really can't (in the same manner), because it'll look like I'm being a bit unoriginal.

But please, take that as compliment! If you have a good idea, explore it. You already have, and it's worked out marvelously for you. Your fiction is now becoming much more developed, and I can clearly see some of the directions it could be headed. But I'm still being suprised by some of the developments. Ashitaka's clan destroyed (I do note, however, it's spelled "Emishi"), Kaya returned out of moderate desperation...for my fiction I also had wondered if I could introduct Kaya into the story again, and I think that this was a very clever, if tragic, way of doing so.

If I sound a bit critical, it's that Cowgrree guy below rubbing off on me. He's my "editor", actually. To paraphrase him, "What I really meant to say is, I like your fiction."
mystlady chapter 4 . 9/26/2003
Very nice story and I love your writing it so surperb!
MacRoMackerel chapter 1 . 9/25/2003
Don't listen to what that last guy said. He doesn't know what he's talking about (just kidding, Mr. B! I fully agree with everything that's been said).

Geez, what can I add? Well, I would like it if you starting describing individuals more. You've already done a fantastic job with the setting, so some more details about the people living in it would be nice.

I don't think you should feel any pressure to quicken your pace. Princess Mononoke wasn't a hollywood thriller and your story doesn't have to be either. In fact, I think your pacing is an interesting change from most fics. My feeling is that you should have your initial incident soon but just build gradually from there. You should layer your plot lines pretty thick too. You'll want to give the impression of moving slowly but with many things moving at once. Add a healthy dose of foreshadowing and hopefully you'll have your readers biting their nails between chapters.
Preacher chapter 3 . 9/22/2003
Very quality writing. Your style is just slightly "recap"ish for me- you seem to have repeated a lot of the details I already knew about the characters and how they look. It's not really a bad thing, you also managed to insert a lot of interesting details. I find your theories on post-curse Ashitaka interesting (they vary widely from fiction to fiction) and on San's facial markings. Good work. I'm interested to see when exactly the plot gets rolling, so far it's been very nice but I think you don't fall under "Drama" yet. -Preacher
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