Reviews for Mayflies
BakerStreetIsLastRefugeOfHope chapter 1 . 5/6/2013
Great story. Very well written.
Aratlithiel1 chapter 1 . 9/26/2003
Aw. I mean, you know, of course, that Awen will fade (die), but for a elf frined of hers to see it happening must be so heartbreaking. And Legolas' refusal to see it even moreso. Very, very nice and very, very sad.
tineryn chapter 1 . 9/25/2003
While that was... depressing, to say the least. Quite good, though, even if I wished it to end on a slightly happier note. Bravo!
Lamiel chapter 1 . 9/25/2003
Lovely image of Minuel at the party "like a crocus in the snow." And I particularly liked Arwen and Aragorn jumping over the fire with the common folk. The description of the dancing and food gives a clear sense of Legolas' appreciation for mortals. Very nice.
Theresa Green chapter 1 . 9/25/2003
I’m so glad you gave us a little bit extra for “Unbinding”. Thank you! Thank you! And what a wonderful extra bit it was. I just love Minuel! She is such a great OC. I liked the contrast between how Minuel and Legolas viewed the wedding celebrations. And also enjoyed Aragorn and Arwen taking the opportunity to leap over the midsummer fire – so romantic, even after all those years!

Adored the phrase, “slightly drunken elven balance”. Lovely!

Loved Aragorn and Legolas exchanging rueful looks as their partners burst into laughter behind them. Women! Tsk Tsk!

Arwen rode border duty with Minuel? That surprised me. I wouldn’t think Arwen would be involved in the military side of Elven life.

The interchange between Aragorn and Legolas is lovely. It is very moving when Legolas quietly thinks to himself that most Elves found mortal lives sad.

Minuel’s explanation of Arwen’s gradual fading is beautifully done. I was so moved. Minuel’s character, even in just this one chapter, is really coming through so well. There is a tender side to her. She just cannot bear to watch Legolas’ mortal friends disintegrate. And there is a lovely touch of humour to her as well:

“Legolas, my friend, I would bed you until the song ends, but you have all the emotional perception of an orc.”

Absolutely priceless! My favourite line in the whole story!

I thought the two of them standing there in each other’s arms, weeping, was beautiful. And when Minuel thought to herself, “As have you” I thought I was going to start crying too. How long is a quarter of a yen? By the way it might be an idea to make it quite clear to the reader that when Minuel thinks “As have you” she means “You also have only a quarter of a yen” and not “You also have seen it too often to be wrong.” I know it’s kind of obvious, but it struck me as being a possible ambiguity. You could solve the problem by swapping the sentences over so that it reads,

““I have seen it too often to be wrong. She has perhaps a quarter of a yen, or less, beloved fool.”

(I really liked “beloved fool” as well. )

And while I’m in “picky picky” mode, Minuel needs to say “Farewell, Legolas” rather than “Farwell”. I'll stop being pedantic now shall I? Yes, okay.

I enjoyed your description of Legolas making love to Minuel so sensitively. More details please on what the “six forms” consist of. Diagrams would be appreciated! Video clips even better! He he he!

I was very moved when Minuel wondered how long her grief would allow her to stay in Mirkwood when Legolas left for the Havens. She might be a prejudiced so-and-so, but she really does love Legolas.

So, Rose, is “Mayflies” the start of a story in its own right or is it truly the end of “Unbinding the Box”? I’m hoping the former.

Keep up the good work! I just love your writing.