Reviews for Vocare Prabia |
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![]() ![]() So flitwick has heard of this before and hermione isnt a bit curious of how to undo it? Harry suddenly hates the establishment? |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh no, not a cliffhanger! It's an interesting story so please please please complete! xD Thanks thanks :) |
![]() ![]() Dementors consume misery not happiness. If they consumed happiness, then the patronus would not work and Harry would not have had the most extreme reaction to them. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I really wish that you would finish this fic. you said earlier that you had most of it written already and it's been years now. I hope you come back and complete it. It really is an awesome fic! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Did you abandon this story? It's been almost 5 years and this story was getting REALLY good and it was almost finished too! Please update one day soon! |
![]() ![]() Too mulch too ask for you to finish this? Perhaps. It HAS been 4ish years... |
![]() ![]() ![]() Seriously - how random are you with this Ginny bullshit? You've already established that she's the same stalker she is in canon, but towards the BWL Neville in this AU. Now suddenly - for no reason at all - she's all over Harry. Nice way to lay down foundation and adequately build your characters... |
![]() ![]() ![]() I think I can understand the confusion. It dawned on me at the end of chapter 9 that it was AU Harry that was killed. I had started out thinking that it was orginal Harry being killed and then sent (soul/magic) to AU Harry taking him over. |
![]() ![]() Mostly a good story. However you need less thoughts in it. You are a good enough writer that you don't need to go into great detail with Harry's thoughts. For example instead of your long anti- Hermione rant from Hasry, you could have said, " Harry found himself wondering if Hermione had always been so annoying." Better yet, you could have shown it through action, such as Harry snapping at Hermione then apologising, saying she was different in his world, with a small thought of her being different as in less annoying. You have the skill as a writer to show what your character is thinking through their actions:please use it. While the writing is lovely and the story is well plotted, I have found that you waste so much time on monologues for characters that not very much happens. This encourages readers to skim through the chapters to fond out what happens in the story, only to discover they do not understand it because they have missed a vital piece of information that was buried amongst the thoughts of several characters. Remember: Every sentence should either further the plot, deepen the character or describe the setting. The occasional monolouge is fine so long as it is before or after the character giving the monologue acts in a way which, without the monolouge, would seem strange and put of character. Other than that, great story, though you might want to cut down on the use of capital letters- we can picture the tone ourselves most of the time :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is a very intriguing storyline. You should serious consider finishing it. I haven't found any Neville, The-Boy-Who-Lived stories completed yet. It would be such a pity if this one joined the many in-completes out there. Well, think on it, even though it's been 4 years since you last updated. |
![]() ![]() Finally, Harry is going to shoe he's got back bone and won't stand annoying prats coomanding him around like they are the Dursleys. |
![]() ![]() ![]() You need someone to help you plan this out? I VOLUNTEEERR! Just PM me the gist and we'll work out the rest. Again, This Story Is Awesome. Please don't put this on hiatus! |
![]() ![]() I thought you said Cedric died after Voldemort used his blood to bring him back to life? |
![]() ![]() ![]() "As I said, I have a plan," Hermione said. "But we'll all have to split up and do different things. For starters, we have to get Ginny." "Ginny?" Arthur piped up. "Why in the world do we need to get Ginny?" "…Dumbledore didn't tell you?" Harry asked, his eyes widening. "Draco Malfoy took her to Voldemort." "Malfoy did what?" Arthur roared, rising to his feet. "Dumbledore didn't tell you?!" Harry demanded. "Malfoy did what?!" Arthur said louder. "He's the Malfoy of our universe," Hermione said. "He's working for the Dark Lord." "Ginny…" Arthur gasped, clutching his chest. Remus very suddenly had a good idea of what Arthur meant about children and stress. . . . . . ...You just won the award of writing the B.E.S.T. Alternate Universe Plot. Awesome story! Hope you update soon! Anywayz, I've got a few suggestions. 1. Tonks is super awesome,so if the original universe doesn't exactly focus on her, in this universe, it SHOULD be. 2. DracoGinny? Really? I've actually never read one before. So, please keep the romance to a minimum and let Humor take over here, but still a lot of Angst. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I really like this fic, hope you continue some day! |