|Reviews for Fortress Around The Heart|
| laura793 chapter 22 . 2/22
I hate Irulan! Hate her! She has to be the most selfish childish inconsiderate character, not to mention stupid; for her current actions can be described as none other.. no slight on you as a writer, the story as it's written is fantastic and I'm loving it so far but I just want to punch her in the face!
Fingers crossed that as I keep reading she sorts her shit out!
| Saltwater chapter 7 . 2/20
I'm not sure how to feel about the relationship you are building for these two. There's something enticing about Legolas's possessiveness and the high-handed nature in which he just takes charge of Irulan... But at the same time, you are toeing a difficult line between a dominant man, and a manipulative one. I feel like this is erring on the side of danger - he HAS kidnapped her, against her will, she did not join him excited at the adventure, she was literally pushed and dragged along, and stated several times she wanted to go back. He has made sure to put her in a situation where she is completely dependant on him, with no way to get home if she chooses to, or even any money at her disposal. She has felt physically threatened by his anger several times. She continues to deny his advances but he keeps pushing himself on her, using emotionally manipulative tactics to get her to comply and give in to him even as she does so with obvious discomfort... I feel uncomfortable with the romantic light you are depicting all of this in. If I was in this situation, dragged against mt will to a foreign country with a man who had complete control over my ability to get home, who was pushing unwanted physical contact in me, becoming intimidatingly angry at my rejection, refusing to allow me to go home and in fact forcing me to stay the night with him... I would be legitimately terrified.
I've read this story before, many years ago... Coming back to it now, I feel deeply uncomfortable at how this is unfolding and surprised I didn't notice how intimidating and just... not okay this whole situation is so far.
| ellieloves2read chapter 4 . 1/15
Oh my, this looks like a beginning to a great journey. I have doubts when I first started this story. Consider my doubts squashed!-
| Regin chapter 26 . 1/1/2014
I Like, I Lust, I Love!Please Update Soon!
| Guest chapter 24 . 10/3/2013
You mislead us readers. In the beginning of the story you wrote that Legolas never loved a woman and now your writing that he loved this Bentanta chick. I call bullshit.
| Guest chapter 22 . 10/3/2013
Irulan is worth than Bella Swan.
| Cerebella Kennor chapter 26 . 5/21/2013
I very much enjoyed this story. The plot kept moving and at times it was very exciting to follow along (especially the Rome-Paris-Vienna adventure). The characters were very realistic, though I didn't always like them - hated them and their actions and decisions, in fact - which is why they were so life-like, I wager!
I LOVED the way you so firmly separated Elves from Men, because it is so easy for writers to just assume that they are the same and would act the same in every situation. But they wouldn't, and it was refreshing to read about that, and to read about how very frightening those differences can be!
My only real problem with this story is how often your characters "swallow" in response to emotions. By the time I hit chapter ten, I was laughing every time I saw "s/he swallowed softly". It was a bit hard to take seriously at times since it happened so often. I would suggest exploring different bodily reactions, things like facial expression and body language.
Other than that, it was a great story to read and I was at times very moved. The scene with Arwen being disappointed in her really struck a chord in me, and Baeron's death (and especially the location, manner, and choice of death) was indeed saddening. The Joan of Arc episode was also rather intense... The whole idea of immortal beings living among mortals actually kind of depresses me, and not too many people take up the challenge of displaying the downsides of such an existence. You've done it fairly well.
I must say, though, that Legolas' persistence here in the epilogue is a bit humorous. I feel bad for Irulan - she'll never have a normal life ever again, no matter how hard she tries. And the fact that you didn't end this with an, "...and they lived happily ever after," was wonderful. Real life has problems, and just because the story's over doesn't mean they're all overcome. So, again, it was nice to see something realistic. I also admit that a sad ending where the Elf gave up would not have satisfied me as much as the one you chose.
| Guest chapter 2 . 1/17/2013
legolas is a prick stop trying to say like all girls that elves are better then humans and dwarfs aragorn would own him calling humans weak. and your a human riping off your own race. legolas does not love your OC
| Guest chapter 6 . 7/4/2012
There is such a thing as sexual harassment. When a person of any gender or age says 'no', it means no, continuing the point reaches the point of sexual harassment. The feelings Irulan describes is not different than a victim. This story has reached the point of disgusting that such an event is acceptable.
| littledragoneyes chapter 26 . 6/30/2011
this is a wicked good story! love it!
| KnoKnayme chapter 26 . 6/27/2011
This is beautiful! loved this!
| Evohe chapter 26 . 6/4/2011
First of all, congratulations are due. I read your story in one sitting and enjoyed it, from the beginning to the end! I admit I am not one to read much "Legomance", but I found your story on a community (sorry, can't seem to remember its name) and decided to give it a go. What a smart move on my part: I was not disappointed, far from it.
I loved all your characters. The way you made them interact flowed naturally and let us enjoy your writing with ease.
To go into details, I was particularly impressed (no other words) by your depiction of Arwen in the after-Sharing dream. She was perfect! In a short scene, you gave us an insight on her character I will not readily forget. You made her decision and path in the books clear and understandable, un-debatable even. I would go as far as to say you reconciled me with her character. I have always wondered at her, and your take on her gave me food for thought and sounds right.
Since I'm on the subject of the characters, I will make a passing remark on Michael, the disagreeable "villain" on the Circle's council. I feel he is the only one that maybe, in my humble opinion, (sorry), you treated a bit, well just too easily perhaps. The way you pictured him seemed just a bit easy to me.
Basically, I understand the greed and the want for power that motivates him, as well as the jealousy and envy for the easiness with which Irulan had it in the Circle and her disdain for it all. It must have irked him not just a little. (Writing it down, it is not "basically" anymore I know, but please bear with me). All these emotions are underlying and hinted at in your writing (which is something I deeply admire). However, those feelings seem a bit simple to me, a bit 'under-proportionated', when you consider what is at stake, that is the power you suggest rest with the Circle.
We don't know much about it, except its vast influence and its goal of a betterment of humanity. But surely, the secret society must have seen something of interest in Michael. After-all, he too passed the test of admittance and rose himself to the highest place available, and all this under the scrutiny of his peers and of the elves. I admit that I found it just a touch too easy, too labeled, and I had the impression of a missing tidbit of information that would have make all the pieces fit easily... Oh, well, it was just a small point and I managed to make a mountain of it.
On the main couple, and the intrigue:
Well, this is a review of the last chapter, so hopefully, no spoilers left when I say I never liked love triangle. I always disliked the fact that there is nobody to blame for the situation and yet everyone hurts so much. It feels oppressive, as in: no matter were the characters turn, only disaster awaits (and not the small kind at that). So to say I liked your intrigue was a surprise for myself. You treated everyone of your characters with respect and determination, making the situation, again, flow naturally, giving us this familiar sense of dread. And yet, once more, no one was to blame, just common emotions, some even worthy of praise such as Baeron's determination that Iluran make the decision to her heart's contentment, and not in hope of bettering the situation. So, bravo to you!
To have a go at the main couple, I found them very endearing but I focussed on your mastery of describing their tumultuous emotions. And you took your time and didn't rush anything! For that thank you so much. They were so interresting it would have been a shame, not to mention a waste.
Well, after such a long-winded review, I'll keep it short : I read it, I loved it, now I'm going straight to the sequel!
Again congratulations, and thank you for sharing with us,
P.S.: Oh, I almost managed to forget the fortress:I liked the fortress, I loved the fortress, I adored the fortress and all its residents, That was one BRILLIANT idea!
| Guest chapter 24 . 11/21/2010
uhm. I would like to ask. Do you travel a lot? I am sorry if you've answered this question before. To be honest I've been skipping most of your author's note a lot. I can't help, but be excited and jump to the story as soon as the page loaded, anyways after reading this with one whole swoop. I am still quite speechless (as speechless as the TALKATIVE person I am. Believe me when I say I am speechless now) I can only like everything here (at least until I haven't think it over yet.) minus the Irulan running away to another man! BUT THAT is really fine bec. this is after all YOUR story and as frustating and dissapointing she (irulan) may be and how it changes the whole story with her argh!. I wouldn't have it or her any way. All I really wanted to say is I may never always agree with you or to anyone but that makes the world interesting no? I mean the story. One more thing for this drag far too long. I apologise for this very c0nfusing review. I myself is confused. You may ignore it all if you want, but I will still submit this for reas0ns that reviewing while the feelings is raw is the best gift I can present to this and many others fabulous (you seems to use that a lot) fics. And I am again sorry for my horrible grammar. I am using my mobile right now and I cannot look back to the things I already typed and mainly for the reason that I am no good in english at all! Maybe I'll review a more coherent one after the jumble of thoughts has come to pass. For now! You have my sincerest and honest emotions.
| Tilara chapter 26 . 9/18/2010
Wow, I came across this story a few months ago and finally decided to start reading it, I just finished it and I'm at a loss to how I truly feel about this story. On one hand I feel incredibly bad for Legolas, staying in the world of man to please his friend, being lonely, bitter,alienated by choice, finding someone, making a stupid wager and being proven wrong, finding true love, and not stepping up and being truthful, being too over controling and pushing away that love, then the Irulan running off to baeron or whatever I know she just wanted space but those damn elven customs on dealing with such matters and their pride getting in the way and then irulan making mistake after mistake and the two elves again proving how elves aren't perfect, I wanted to hate this story so badly because noone got a happy ending. Im the type of reading that seeks fiction to read about the happy endings and when I come across stories that aren't that way usually i'm frustrated and bitter and unhappy but after all was said and done, both elves realized their faults and the love of Legolas' life was changed forever and everything was just off yet overall i think it was a beautifully written story, very creative, I loved your writing in this, but I truly disliked that things happened the way they did. I mean yes legolas was very controlling etc but Irulan also wasn't perfect, I feel as though I would have liked to see them happy but I digress, it is your story, I do not agree with the ending but i think it was a great way to show how the elves aren't as perfect as everyone made them out to be, and that Aragorns line still held that pride and that his decendants also made mistakes. surprisingly i'm not angry after reading this probably because im out of it today but overall i very well written story, and i will see if you have more stories though hopefully they don't have this stype of ending. i can only take so much of this type of ending.
| EmbersOfAmber chapter 6 . 4/16/2010
You use the word demise incorrectly in several instances in this chapter. For example:
"To her demise, Anne only took that as an encouragement."
"She wore a casual and yet feminine dress that, with its baby blue color, served to bring out the olive tint of her skin and the dark tone of her hair which she had -to his demise- put up loosely."
Demise means death. I don't think you could have meant to write that. Perhaps you meant to his/her surprise instead?
I'm enjoying your story. It's quite dark, which I really like to see explored. Even so, those errors are jarring, and if they were corrected, it would greatly enhance the pleasure of your readers. :)