Reviews for Yami's Living Puzzle
silverfoxninja chapter 15 . 12/30/2008
The ending chapter really opens up for new possibilities. It's pretty interesting to see that Kaiba was tossed in the mix too. I don't really see him snapping at Mokuba like that but I guess anyone would if they are tired enough. LOL
silverfoxninja chapter 14 . 12/30/2008
Okay, I think you got the idea about losing the commentary. I was really getting into the story when Bardock popped in and said what he said which really ruined the mood for me. I had a hard time getting back into the fic.

I still think that the development was going well, but it seemed a bit cheesy to me that Yami called Nazo his Queen of Games. That may be true, but it's still a bit...eh.

Good job on the visualization. _
silverfoxninja chapter 13 . 12/30/2008
Wow! I was at the edge of my seat with the date and I am really happy to see that the first kiss isn't rushed like I have seen in so many other fanfics. Good job in keep them IC. I really like how the characters are developing. _
silverfoxninja chapter 12 . 12/30/2008
Ooh I like the action and the mystery in this chapter plus I love the irony that the Yugi-tachi can't help anyone due to academics, personal life, work, etc. Makes for a very real feeling that I enjoy. _

I love the visuals that the lime had. Great stuff.
silverfoxninja chapter 11 . 12/30/2008
I thought that wizard was an ass, but I suppose all of the bad guys are, and Nazo seems to be developing in a good direction. I really love the development that Yami is getting. I really like to see that side of him more often. _
silverfoxninja chapter 10 . 12/29/2008
Very interesting chapter. I like the editing work that you did here and it's very well done. _ I'm happy that you were able to see that roulette wheels aren't a very practical weapon now that you are older and playing cards, well...their not THAT sharp. LOL
silverfoxninja chapter 9 . 12/29/2008
Now that's pretty cool. Unfortunately, I still get a bit creeped out with Yami dating someone that looks a lot like him. But then again, this is an old story.

Nazo is starting to grow on me a bit. I still find it an enjoyable read. _
silverfoxninja chapter 8 . 12/29/2008
Uh...I would be a little creeped out if I were Yami and got a crush on a person that looked even remotely like me. _;;

Other than that, it's not a bad chapter. It's kinda cool, but I really don't see Otogi traveling around with his cheerleaders to pick up chicks. They do that on thier own. [shudders] Anyway, it's good to see that your work has really evolved since this one. It's still fun to read over the older stuffs.
silverfoxninja chapter 7 . 12/29/2008
Oh this chapter was amusing! I still catch those A/N in the middle of a paragraph, so it threw me off a little. I like the footnotes that you added at the bottom. It really helps us that don't know Japanese to learn it a little. _
silverfoxninja chapter 6 . 12/29/2008
I like the development of this chapter and it's actually picking up. I'm getting used to Nazo now, but there is something else that bugs. The commentary before and after each chapter.

The recap is okay, but it gets a bit redundant after a while. I'm glad to see that your other fics don't have it as much. To me, it disrupts the mood that was set from the previous chapter.
silverfoxninja chapter 5 . 12/29/2008
*sighs* If it was a tie and she was the one that did the penalty game, shouldn't Yami be able to do it too? I'm just a little confused about that setup.

Good chapter, great feel, but I still don't like Nazo.
silverfoxninja chapter 4 . 12/29/2008
Yeah, Nazo seems Mary Sue to me. She's too much like Yami and that bothers me. Other than that, I like the flow of the story. Nazo reminds me of Yami in the series Shadow Games.
silverfoxninja chapter 3 . 12/29/2008
Um, interesting that Nazo would be the one to find the cards. Sounds too much like a coincidental setup to me.

Oh now I remember what I was going to say about the last chapter. A/N in the middle of a chapter tends to distract a reader from the main story and disrupts the flow. I generally avoid them at any cost. I know that you have evolved as a writer sense, but it's a common mistake that many authors make.

As far as this chapter is concerned, Nazo kinda gives me the same impression that I got from Kaiba when I first met him in the canon series. I didn't like him all that much. I don't really like Nazo all that much either. Maybe that will change the more I read.
silverfoxninja chapter 2 . 12/29/2008
Ick, Nazo sounds like a bit of an angsty Sue when I first met her. I hope it gets better.

I like the story so far. Now to go on to the next chapter.
silverfoxninja chapter 1 . 12/29/2008
I'm not for lyrics in a fanfic. I generally skip the lyrics anyway.

I will say that the first chapter seems to set an interesting tone that sends the story into a multifaceted world. Good job!
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