Reviews for OffKilter
netherlady chapter 3 . 2/6/2007
nice story, you should update it.
MadamGrandAdmiral chapter 3 . 11/1/2004
This is good How come the delay? I'm really enjoying this, and i hope you will update soon.
Hamilcar chapter 3 . 9/14/2004
:) It's always great to read a good, solid piece of Peg-fic by you. Nice job, as ever, on making the characterizations fresh yet in character and creating a compelling, readable story. Congrats - you're a great addition to my C2 archive (shamless plug); but seriously. You're stories are well-done and are some of the few that I read over and over.

_ *Claps* Bravissimo.
Ruler-of-Da-World chapter 3 . 7/29/2004
yay you updated (does happy dance)anyway, very well written (just as the last few chapters)lol "There have been many tablets sir. You're an archeologist." I love Croquet, he is a funky munky. Yes, very good and very intriging if I do say so myself hm... thing to figure out, ah Yes Pegasus is a but slow on the uptake but thats ok we love him anyway _ ok update soon... or should I not hope? aw well keep up good work.
sakuuya chapter 3 . 7/21/2004
Gomen, Kabuki! I have been absolutely horrible at keeping up with your stories lately...Expect quite a few reviews from me in the next few days...

It's very rare to see a chapter in a yaoi fic that does nothing to further the romance (and one of the paired people hardly shows up in...) But it's nice. Most yaoi isn't written confidently enough that it can just go off in ramblings like this and stay coherent. At the same time, most rambling-type fics can't keep up a serious romance. So far the balance is spectacular, and I hope you can keep it up.
SW1 chapter 3 . 7/19/2004
This story is really picking up. I like the interaction with Croquet and Pegasus. I also wonder where this is all heading with Kaiba as the last chapter seems more or less neutral towards him now. Keep it goin girl! You rock. :)

Ella
Yggdrasil's 3rd Root chapter 1 . 2/27/2004
*Psst* This is that little voice inside your head. No, not the one that says "Redrum, redrum", but the one that nags you vigorously about updating shipper fanfiction.
Say, what's going on here, author-gal?
I know this is really hypocritical coming from a lazy arse such as myself-but why the shortage of updates? Don't leave your fellow poor starved Seto/Pegs shippers hanging! I realize this may not be quite convincing coming from someone with the updating tendencies I've had of late, but let's hope the whole world isn't developing *my* habits or we're all doomed. I'm sure your college schedule is probably very nasty, but didn't you tell me that the next chapter was already written (this was sometime ago) and ready for beta-reading? Er, maybe I imagined that. I don't know, it's been a long time, but I could've sworn you made it sound as though you had another chapter completed or nearly completed.
It actually seems like Pegs/Seto fics often die on the second chapter. Isn't that a strange coincidence? I can think of three-yours, Myotismon13's fic, and less than average's new fic. All hit two chapters quickly; all are now not moving. And Squid's hasn't even gotten to chapter two to my knowledge. Well, I really love P/S, so it's always a little disheartening to me to see several promising stories without any updates in months. As for myself, I'm planning to start updating my own shtick again in summer-when I can catch a break from pressing school projects (blech).
Anyway, what's your plan? Email me at if you'd like to share the updating details with me (or if you want to tell me you decided to make the story RIP-well, it'd be a shame, but it is your choice). Also, in the past you asked me to beta-read some stuff. If you're still desiring that, well, I'm still willing to help out if you'd like.
At least let me have a juicy detail or two? I can do puppy dog eyes, really!
*has bad Seto/Jou fic flashback*
..erk, then again, I might as well just ask very nicely.
Hope you update soon!
Ciao
Amber
Ciao
Amber
Ruler-of-Da-World chapter 2 . 1/2/2004
Look you really need to update, I have been waiting and waiting and waiting and guess what? WAITING! Hurry up, this is a very good story, better than me, I can't even keep the chracters in chracter... Anyway you write very well, please I beg of thee uodate one more chapter, hey it's either a late christmas present or a very early one _ so please
Ruler-of-Da-World chapter 2 . 12/8/2003
This is so good, hurry up and write a new chpater! I really like it, I really want you to write a new chapter soon.
velshtein chapter 2 . 11/19/2003
*_* Pretty story. And full of nice Pegasus-ness! Woohoo! Very nice idea and this is building up nicely! _
Happily Melancholy chapter 2 . 11/7/2003
This story is great and I like all your work, but I never seem to get around to putting you on my favorites. Anyway this is starting off wonderful and I love this pairing (acually Pegasus and anyone is good with me). I visited your webpage and that is coming along well too. I wanted to ask you about some of my work and if I could post some on your website. You can review it if you need too, I don't mind. You can give me a response at my Yahoo email . I would really appreciate your opinion.
Sylvia1 chapter 2 . 10/21/2003
Another one of those review whilst I read deals, Buki. :) Yup, more than likely another exceedingly long one. Let's get started, shall we?

OOh, I love the way you describe Pegasus binding the two entities of Kaiba - body and soul - it's reminiscient of the Big Bang or something, very cool! Poor Kaiba, he's so utterly not himself after having his soul ripped away from him and having it forcefully put back. It's kind of eery to think that Pegasus is simply fulfilling his 'promise' with this too. The man has a very strange outlook on life, yes he does.

Pegasus is so curious about Kaiba's well being! It's so sweet, but at the same time... disturbing. I mean really, you'd think Pegasus would know how Kaiba was feeling better than he would. Seto just now got *back* to his body. Lol! Aw, and the first thing he requests is that his baby brother be set free. *wipes tear from eye* You do remind me why I like poor old Seto, Buki!

Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. You mean to tell me that Pegasus doesn't want Kaiba to be locked up? I know in the series they have Pegasus wanting Yugi's Millennium Puzzle, but what other alternative does the man have I wonder? Hm, this plot's getting thicker by the second... LOL! Haha! Pegasus left the cell doors unlocked? Oh, that's priceless! If Kaiba thought Pegasus was insane before, he *really* must think the old guy's a quack by now! LOL! Oh, Pegasus as Bugs Bunny – now we all know that character was the true inspiration for Funny Bunny in the series, right? I do have a little quirp here, though. How is Pegasus holding Kaiba’s shoulders still with merely one hand? I know it sounds like a silly question, but I can’t quite envision it in my mind. Also, I know that Kaiba is weakened, but I still don’t buy the idea that he couldn’t give Pegasus at the very least a struggle in his exhausted form. Maybe that’s just the furious Kaiba persona’s arrogance in the back of my mind though…

“Pegasus smiled warmly, pulling the other boy against his chest with care. Kaiba remained stiff and wide-eyed, shocked as Pegasus stroked his hair.” Oh my, now I see why this is a Kaiba/Pegasus pairing. This cold dungeon is already heating up with these men in the room! Oh, poor Seto, your mind is so slow at the moment. No wonder Pegasus is reveling so much in tormenting you. *sigh*

Listen to Pegasus reciting poetry to Kaiba! This is so sweet, but Seto is so bull-headed that he doesn’t even realize the cooing affection behind the insults. Oh, Kaiba thinks that Pegasus wants to kill him – how wrong could the man be, hm? ;-) “…it especially marred the otherwise untainted androgynous beauty that was Pegasus’ face.” A little biased now, aren’t we? *g* I like Pegasus as a character, but I simply can’t see him as having an untainted androgynous beauty without the Eye. *shrug* Maybe it’s just me.

I wonder if after having trapped Kaiba’s soul again in the card if his position/picture has changed. You know, Pegasus’ lament after sealing Seto’s soul once more is reminiscent of Hamlet in a strange, morbid way. Of course, we have to suppose that Shakespeare knew nothing of Shadow Magic. ;-) It’s sad, though, to think that Pegasus is doing all of this work to simply have a hologram come to life. He imagines the two of them lounging about, embracing more than likely, and even talking; but in all honesty, the only thing Pegasus could do with a hologram would be to look at it. Even with all this work and cruelty, he wouldn’t be any closer to having his loved one come back to life – never the way he imagines she could.

Your writing in this is really descriptive, Buki. I can see the entire confrontation in my mind’s eye, and especially the soulless body of Kaiba, slouched like a limp little rag doll on the stone floor. It’s really haunting, like most of your descriptive writing is. Thank you for this update, I hope I’ve been fairly realistic in my review and that I haven’t criticized your work too much. :-)

Love,

-Lena-
Sylvia1 chapter 1 . 10/16/2003
I've decided to review this fic as I read, Buki, so bear with me. I may tend to go off topic at times. )

Bad poetry, hm? LOL - I think it's great! I know I've had that problem before... and then the final obvious statement about Yugioh ownership. Haha! As though the poem itself might not be truly understood by someone prowling around for disclaimer-less fics. Well, now onto the story itself. Off Kilter? I get a strange vision of somebody standing on one foot and losing their balance whenever I hear this term. Is that similar to how this plot is going to be I wonder? Kaiba and Pegasus attempting to bring balance to this topsy-turvy relationship? Hm, could be...

"Pegasus strode from the dueling arena with a spring in his step, his hands in his pockets as he nodded to his guards." Aw, how cute! You know he acts like a little kid whenever he gets excited or overwhelmingly happy about something. Why would Pegasus not know how to react to the lined men of hired gunmen? Didn't he assign them there, or was it Croquet's doing? *shrug* I suppose if it was up to Pegasus at the moment, with his goofy mood, he might want each of them to wear bunny suits as they did their jobs - simply so he could laugh at them. Tsk, it's a good thing Croquet's around! Power and control addictive? Sounds almost like a Kaiba line. Maybe they'll talk about such similarities later in the fic, hm?

"Ah, Kaiba-boy, look at you! Even in spiritual bondage you’re the picture of calm." Oh! Barely into the first chapter and already Pegasus is talking dirty! ;-) *reading* You know, I'm glad that you show that Croquet is angry with Pegasus for what he's doing to the Kaiba brothers, not only because I really like the two, but rather because I believe Croquet would try to persuade Pegasus to do otherwise. It gives the bodyguard a heart - something that I'm afraid Pegasus forgets about at times. He just gets too excited and wrapped up in his own little plans and schemes, completely forgetting about morality.

"...then Mr. Crawford had sighed and poured a glass of red wine." Ah, so now we see where Pegasus gets it... *eg*.

Concerning Pegasus' parents. I like how you show that James is fascinated with Pegasus' mind reading abilities, and I kind of wonder in a fic that might take a bit from this one, if you could interpret Pegasus' father to be anything like Kaiba's adoptive dad. By that I mean, I wonder if James pushed his kid's psychic abilities and in the process some other side-effect occurred. But, overall I really don't like how blatent they are in this chapter. James saids specifically that he doesn't want his son kidnapped - most parents wouldn't even consider such a thing a possibility, only that they don't want the child to be harmed in any way. Also the mother is so very... dense. She doesn't want to travel with her only son because she doesn't want to start rumors and gossip in her small circle of friends? What a wierdo.

Now, you do know that by saying that Pegasus had mind-reading abilities before acquiring the Millennium Eye opens a whole new can of worms. That means that when Yugi blocked his ability to read his mind at the end of Duelist Kingdom, that was the first time in his *entire life* that he'd dueled without his mind-reading capabilities. Now, does this mean that he's not as good of a duelist as say, Yugi or Kaiba because he uses mind-reading abilities? Just a thought... P

It's great that you have Croquet insult Pegasus through his age. By the way the man acts you'd expect him to be insulted when being called a child. You know Pegasus is out of his senses when he threatens Croquet with the Millennium Eye. What do you think about the line in Yugioh when Pegasus threatens him by asking if he wants to be sent to the Shadow Realm again, Buki? Hey, that would make another interesting story *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*. Aw, man! Throwing coins at the captive? Pegasus should those two guards up by their toes for that! (Especially when I know who the captive is!) *angry glare at Pegasus who laughs nervously* Wonderful chapter, Kabuki, and I'll be interested in seeing how this unfolds into a Seto/Pegasus fic! Now I'm off to read part two!

*rubs hands together in evil anticipation!*

-Sylvia-
Rosalyn Angel chapter 2 . 10/16/2003
MWAHAH! IN-CHARACTER-NESS! If there's one thing I look for the most in fanfiction and get-togethers, it's how well the characters are protrayed. _ I LOVE how you've written Pegasus. x_X So many Pegs/Seto have Pegasus all... EVIL. x_x or GUSHY. -_-; But this is much much much better. _

- one of the reviewers beforehand mentioned it already, about the "yes" or "no" statement and the "how are you?" thing. Just so you know, that struck me as really odd too.

Yay! Croquet has characterization! I like it much, but just don't focus on him so much that you're veering away from the two main peeps. _

Chapter two was GODLY. Not only do you have them in-character, their dialogue is entertaining (sometimes even amusing _ - "Ain't I a stinker?" Bugs Bunny influence, maybe?)

*loves how you wrote Pegasus* ... *LOVES*

Lastly, I'd like to thank you for the "slow progression." With two characters virtually hating each other at the beginning, it's gonna take a lot of development to get them together. Apparently you have a nice hold on their personalities- I just hope you don't lose that later on, and are able to twist them to your liking without making them seem OOC. I trust you can do it. _

I look forward to more of this!

*DIES of the awesomeness of the ficcy*

-RA, out
SW chapter 2 . 10/15/2003
This fic is so cool! It's been done before, but I still love the concept. And I love that Croquet is involved more. The background stuff on Pegasus was wonderful too. I do hope you can update this one regularly. You sure are writing alot lately! You rock girl! Luv ya!

SW
18 | Page 1 2 Next »