|Reviews for Cell Mates|
| Azerty chapter 3 . 10/7/2015
This is horribly written. There are grammar, punctuation, and capitalization mistakes. The structure of your paragraphs is also bad. It's as if you're rambling or telling the story to a friend. The story appears unedited.
There are unnecessary thoughts. You don't have to type the arguments a character has with himself. They are tedious to read.
Be concise. Don't say with 10 words what you can say with five.
Don't add notes in the middle of a text. Characters are bound to be "out of character" in fan fiction.
Avoid unnecessary arguments between characters. This occurs in many fan fiction stories. Avoid arguments about hair if it doesn't move the plot along. If you want to give the readers more information on a character, you may add arguments like that, but only if there is no more effective way to go about it.
| Guest chapter 3 . 10/7/2015
| Lynae chapter 14 . 6/3/2015
Snape and HOOCH!?
| Guest chapter 13 . 3/12/2015
"Meanwhile Ron was tango-ing with the Dark Lord (figuratively speaking)"
| Guest chapter 7 . 3/11/2015
I love how you explain voldemort's distant cursing.. And the latino culture.. Tacos-to-go in Honduras Haha. You are hilarious.
| Norma chapter 1 . 3/11/2015
The end of this first chapter is stupid and unrealistic. Though, if you mean to depict how little they understand the situation, that's fine. I mean let them just have a blank memory but not be stupid for god's sake!
| TEAMJakeward101 chapter 14 . 8/29/2010
ROFLMFAO! this was so fucking random! Haha, none of the characters were even a bit into character. It was quite plotless, but hell, I loved it. I can't stop laughing
only a few authors can write crappy stories and still have everyone love the story
| Kail Ceannai chapter 1 . 10/19/2006
Ah yes, I'm sure all hardened prisoners fearing their fate enjoy a pillow fight quite often.
| ivy chapter 2 . 7/2/2005
Oh, haha. (me is laughing at my last review) Well, i guess the reason why i didn't think i know excactly what the story wsa about coz i never actually read the summarry. I only read this fic coz i saw the word "complete" in the summary. lol. i never actually noticed that its also "romance". yeah well, i'll still read it. at least ur idea was original. P
| ivy chapter 1 . 7/2/2005
I can sorta see the plot, and i like it that way. U know, not too predictable, yet u have an idea of where the story is going. I like ur writing style and ur use of imagery, though i can't help noticing some typos. I think i only spotted about 5 in total or something, awesome compared to the other authors in And THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for not writing a cliche! Good job! and i love the angstiness (if that's what its called). ;)
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/10/2004
Pillows in azkaban?
| sugar n spice 522 chapter 14 . 8/20/2004
wow that was a really good story - i loved it and i think youre a really talented author and all and it was just really good.
| dd.01 chapter 14 . 8/17/2004
Well.. this was amazing. I enjoyed every minute of it and am really sad this is all over. Fantastic job. Thank you so much for putting your time and effort into this amazing story. thanks!
Red and Gold
| LonniGirl chapter 14 . 8/8/2004
OOH, I loved it. You had a very good plot, but you did repeat the Prophecy thing quite afew times, if I may suggest, next time you have something like that, you could have it a bit more mysterious, and let the reader hear/read it at the same time that the main charicters read/hear it. But like I said, it's a wonderful story, and I especally like what you did with "Voldie" and the end was beautiful::tear tear:: and that was cute having the reader think that it was Draco and Hermione's wedding.
| Cell Mates Reader chapter 10 . 7/17/2004
I had no idea I made you feel so bad. I'm quite sorry. I know it wasn't this chapter, but I liked the scene where Narcissa kills Lucius.
I found that as the story goes on, you get better at writing.