Reviews for The Find
SeungSeiRan chapter 1 . 1/12/2010
I'm assuming Black Cloak is the most infamous of the Sorel clan here .

I liked Amy here, in all her sarcastic glory. Your characterization was spot-on in that regard. However, I think the descriptions lacked a little color or emotion in some places.

Overall though, the story was well-written and I do commend you for correct grammar and spelling. 'Tis hard to come by nowadays :)
AngelEyes87 chapter 1 . 1/12/2010
Really outstanding and it was beautifully written :) The exchange between Raphael and Amy was such a pleasure to read. Well done with this!
Ice Dagger chapter 1 . 12/29/2005
Wow, Amy's young, but she's already cussing. I guess that's to be expected from a starving orphan, though. I like your descriptions. They're vague, but just right. I mean, the setting is bleak, so why would she notice things if they weren't a source of money or food? Very nicely done. Very beautiful writing style and very graceful transitions into action.
Jehanne chapter 1 . 11/30/2005
Short and sweet, and I like the way you portrayed the characters.

J'aime l'histoire :p
Kittie Gaby chapter 1 . 5/4/2004
Great story! I didn't really like Raphael until I
read his profile,and now he's one of my favorite
charecters.(Even if he is a bit annoying)
KG:No offense.
Kittie Gaby chapter 1 . 5/4/2004
Great story! I didn't really like Raphael until I
read his profile,and now he's one of my favorite
charecters.(Even if he is a bit annoying)
KG:No offense.
Nami chapter 1 . 3/24/2004
Nami:I remember this story!I found it somewhere else before please 't ever give up!Namu.~
nowheredoll chapter 1 . 2/19/2004
Oh i love this! Today i saw amy in the opening on soul calibur and you did a good job at making it come out better. PLEASE WRITE MORE SOON
Iliya Moroumetz chapter 1 . 10/24/2003
Good fic here. We only got a single glance at the poor kid during the opening sequence and she seems quite like the one you've portrayed her as in this. On the brink of giving up, but knowing she can't. And it seems that fortune has smiled on her too, she's got connections now. Ha!

As for how to improve this fic, it looks like you've got most of, if not all, the bases covered. This little inner monologue sounds quite believable for someone like her.

I don't think you'd be making a mistake continuing this. Your style holds itself up well and we got a good subject matter that requires a balanced outlook.

I've gone on enough. To put it simply, I like this story.
lilgirl chapter 1 . 10/20/2003
this is good. you are a pretty good writer. Please continue soon.
KDTemperedSteel chapter 1 . 10/19/2003
A very good recounting of Raphael's origins. Good job, Chofi.
CHEESE PIE chapter 1 . 10/16/2003
YAY! I've been looking around for a Raphael story, and this is the first one I've come across. Good introduction, sets up questions for the rest of the story. Probably need more physical description, though. Somethine I've always wondered about is Amy's age...the SC2 profiles don't dwell much with her. waiting anxiously for next chapter!
The Tesseract Seraph chapter 1 . 10/16/2003
Very nice! I like all the love I'm seeing for Raphael around here; his relationship with Amy is something I'm glad to see a number of authors exploring-and quite well, too.

I like how you're working from Amy's viewpoint for this as well, and can't wait to see the next chapter.

Your writing style is very nice, quite poetic and fluid-though I found a couple of sentences that, if not grammatically incorrect, are quite awkward. An example:

"Even ancient meat wasn’t above being sold, and catching and killing rats and cats took too long for too little reward."

Though I got the gist of most of them, there were a couple of times where clarity suffered for the sake of the artistic flow of the sentences.

Still, overall, very well done-and you're on my author alert list now.
Sophitia30 chapter 1 . 10/16/2003
It's a wonderful beginning! The only thing I can do now is to wait for your next chapter that i'm sure will be as good as this one.
Soreyle chapter 1 . 10/16/2003
Wow...this is such a great start to something I hope deary that you continue...i don't know what else to say...! This is great! Keep it up!
21 | Page 1 2 Next »