|Reviews for The Dream Trilogy Book 1: To Dwell On Dreams|
| ClearEyes chapter 1 . 3/23/2019
I have to congratulate you for writing all of Seamus's lines in verse. Good job!
| Akorah chapter 7 . 11/3/2018
Came here to re-read the confrontation between Harry and Wormtail (it's one of my all-time favorite scenes) and then I end up HERE. AGAIN. BAWLING. AGAIN. And if I'm completely honest, I'm going to continue re-reading the rest of the trilogy because somehow you put Universe 1 Hermione into a non-Dramione ship that hits my hopeless romantic heart in all the right places, and I need to get back to it. And I miss Universe 3 Ron. He's a good time. And Universe 2 Draco making right with his past in the second book just. Now I'm crying for more than just Hail Marys at the end of this chapter.
| fhl1234 chapter 9 . 10/11/2018
I'll definitely be reading the next two. Thanks for writing and editing this.
| fhl1234 chapter 1 . 10/7/2018
Intriguing first chapter.
| Jen chapter 9 . 6/21/2018
The fic had a great plot and it was well written despite some errors. I'll definitely check out the rest of the books. I like your portrayal of the characters, especially Draco and Sarah. Thanks.
| Jen chapter 2 . 6/21/2018
You should think about getting a beta.
*Obliviate is the spell you're looking for...or Harry has been Obliviated. Obliterated isn't correct.
*Fit...The pajamas fit him. His pajamas "fitted" him isn't correct at all. Just say it out loud if you're not sure.
Both of these things happen multiple times in the first chapter.
Not trying to be rude. Just something you might want to fix.
| dvndivij chapter 5 . 1/13/2018
This is the worst fanfic that I have ever read. I don't know how someone can have the audacity to write such shit. Most disappointing and dissatisfying story.
| Nyajiou chapter 9 . 10/28/2017
... goodness, what an amazing read!
| OneAppleLeaf chapter 9 . 2/25/2017
Oh gosh, the torrent of emotion, the intricate plot, and most of all...goody Draco! xD I LOVE THIS! Why do i just found this now, haha.
Sure, i feel some discrepancy like the battle Harry VS Voldie that felt a bit strange (maybe because the killing curse didn't work again), Alex co. universe staff and Draco's reunion (i thought Draco will play the bad guys until they found Sarah but he just stalling, lol) but whatever, this was awesome!
It's like a legit HP book number 4,5 or something. I can tell you spend some time with the details and I like it.
I'll search your other book!
| Guest chapter 4 . 11/22/2016
How in the fuck did Sarah not hear them shouting and shit?
| kenchak chapter 8 . 8/22/2016
The premise of story is good and a fast phased one. But the "guilt" and "its my fault" lines repeating gets old fast and irritating.
| Ria0207 chapter 9 . 7/26/2016
Absolutely loved this!
| Beeezie chapter 9 . 6/23/2016
Okay. So since this is the last chapter, I’m going to comment on it in this review (obviously) but also on the books as a whole, because there are some major takeaways for me that I want to lay out. (Just because.)
I’m really interested to read on. I figured that the doorway would be a weakened now - it stands to reason. When you teach the universe new routes, it’s going to start taking them. I also absolutely love Seamus’s appearance at the end - what an amazing cliffhanger to leave this on! I admit that I was already wondering whether they were kind of, well, dead, because I think I remember the CI of Alex I recently made mentioning being dead, but I was not expecting you to bring Seamus back! Awesome, awesome job.
So, overall, I really enjoyed this story. (Clearly, since I binge read it in about a day.) The premise was intriguing, and I thought that you carried it out really, really well. Your attention to detail was inspiring, and it ended up making the story one of the most vivid and intriguing novels I’ve ever read on HPFF. It actually made me think about canon events in a new way, too, which I love.
That said, there were a couple things that stood out to me as areas I thought you could maybe take another look at.
There were definitely some typos sprinkled across the story - mostly with punctuation, so it wasn’t a huge deal, but at the same time, it did stick out to me, particularly because it seemed a little at odds with how meticulous you were with the content. The typos weren’t super distracting, but there were a fair number of them, so it might be worth reading through the book again to catch them.
Along the same lines, I felt like there were points where you relied a little too heavily on adverbs; while they’re certainly really useful sometimes, I feel like when the dialogue captures the sentiment, it’s not really necessary to include adverbs on top of that, particularly since they can conflict - for example, Fudge goes from speaking almost sympathetically to narrowing his eyes angrily to getting irritated in about 40 seconds (last chapter). It just seemed like you could have shown more and told less around dialogue.
The only other major thing that stood out to me was that I felt like there were times when your depiction of characters veered a little too melodramatic for me. I mentioned it once or twice where it stuck out to me, but I feel like the overarching point is that while I feel like you do an amazing job with your main characters and depicting their feelings and motivations - other world Draco, for example, is done wonderfully - you don’t always seem to immerse yourself quite so thoroughly in more supporting or minor characters (like James or Fudge), and that can sometimes lead to them coming across as a little awkward or unbelievable.
Other than that, though, this was a really amazing series, and I can’t wait to get started on the next book!
| Beeezie chapter 8 . 6/23/2016
Your attention to detail is really remarkable. I love how you draw relationships between what Harry experiences here and what he’s gone through by the midway point of OotP - it really helps make your story fit well within the HP canon, even though it’s AU. Here, I loved the interaction with Moody - while Harry briefly met the real Moody in the beginning of OotP, the bulk of his interactions really were with Barty Crouch, and I can see how he’d have to remind himself that no, this Moody does not want him dead. (That said, I did wonder at Kingsley - didn’t Harry meet him at the beginning of OotP, too?)
I liked that this chapter concluded the issue with Voldemort... ish. If he’d been completely, 100% destroyed, it would have seemed a little overly simplistic, but from how you’ve presented it here, it seems like what’s happened is what in Harry’s world happened at Godric’s Hollow 14 years ago. Voldemort will be back, and someone will have to deal with that... but probably not him.
Umbridge is a real piece of work. She’s kind of despicable everywhere, but at least here, they’ve got better standing to dismiss her. (Or so it seems.)
Again, though, your characterization of the Potters seemed a little off to me, particularly since you’ve said they work for the Ministry, who showed up in Germany - wouldn’t they have heard about this? That didn’t seem consistent to me, and while James’s initial anger makes sense, the “What have you done Malfoy!” line seemed a little out of place. It’s a little awkwardly phrased, but more importantly, he’s yelling at a 15 year old that he barely knows (if he knows him at all). I get the animosity, but not the familiarity.
I feel like Harry’s kind of grappling with a lot of really difficult things right now. He loves his parents (and his sister!), and he wishes they were still alive in his world... but at the same time, it’s pretty clear that the world as a whole was better off when they were murdered. That doesn’t make Voldemort right, of course, but a lot (a lot, a lot) of people died because there wasn’t a 14 year period of Voldemort being pretty much powerless.
And now he’s also gotten this news about his Sirius and his Remus - both of whom, of course, are not at all better off in his world - being in very, very dire trouble. On one hand, I feel like he’ll probably have more self-confidence than he had before entering this world, because he’s done some pretty impressive things... but on the other, this strikes me as an ‘out of the frying pan, into the fire’ type of situation.
Yikes. It’s too bad he didn’t get to say goodbye to Hermione and Draco, but somehow, I doubt that this will be the last we see of them - give the very, very little I know about the other two books from doing the banners, it seems likely to me that this Draco is going to show up again. Oh, I hope I’m not wrong - I’m really interested to learn more about him!
I loved the way you started this chapter. Harry’s recent adventures have been incredibly overwhelming, so of course he’s feeling rather raw and emotional. But, bringing it back to Dumbledore’s words to him so long ago was really, really fitting, and on reflection, I feel like it fits Harry’s overall character in the books as well. There’s not a lot of time for him to get caught up in dreams of what could be - I’d never thought about it, but he really did carry that advice with him, didn’t he? I like that.
And, as I’ve said before, I also think that this is a very realistic reaction to trauma. People often fixate on logistics and details, because action just feels better than reaction.
I had more mixed feelings about the confrontation with Draco. On one hand, I really liked that he was the first person Harry bumped into, because it does kind of bring things into perspective. On the other, though, there were parts of the confrontation that just seemed a little too... generic, in a way?
I mean, Harry’s been missing for about two days. From what I’ve seen, at least, it seems to be something that people have noticed. But Draco doesn’t really mention it, other than a vague ”I thought you’d be hiding out until at least Thursday.” That didn’t seem quite sufficient to me. And, on top of that, Draco seemed to startle much, much too easily - he was clearly thrown by Harry, but I’m just not sure it made sense.
I did like pretty most everything else, though! Harry’s finding the picture was a nice parallel to his mother’s protection holding strong even when he was in another Harry’s body - it hints at something bigger going on that has yet to really be solved. McGonagall’s reaction makes perfect sense to me, and I found his interaction with the minister to be super interesting. Since the next chapter is an epilogue, I’m wondering whether this is going to wait to be resolved until the next book.
You and your cliffhangers. You love them, don't you? :P
| Beeezie chapter 7 . 6/23/2016
This made me laugh despite how serious and dire the situation is. There really aren’t many things that can survive a stake to the heart, particularly not without immediate medical attention.
Anyway. This was a really interesting chapter - I’m not quite sure what I think about the mass infiltration/betrayal, and I hope that you’ll address it a little more at some point. It did make for a really exciting chapter, though, and it’s interesting that Snape joined the resistance and stuck with it for so long, even without Lily’s death. I mean, I can see it - it’s just interesting. This story is really making me examine a lot of characters’ motivations in different ways, and while I’m not sure I always agree with your interpretation (though I usually do :P), I think it’s really thought-provoking.
At this point, I’m also really curious to see whether you’re going to kill Voldemort off in this book or not - I’m not clear on whether you’re using the horcuxes or not, which obviously will affect whether he dies. I’m not even sure whether OotP Harry would be able to kill him - a lot of how he does has to do with all the stuff with the Elder Wand, though of course you may have something much more creative in mind!
I actually wasn’t quite sure of your depiction of Bellatrix here - it seemed like you were projecting a lot of what we know from the end of OotP through DH onto her here. I didn’t think that interaction made it clear that Bellatrix had a “clearly unhealthy obsession” with Voldemort. I wish you’d shown a little more of how truly crazy and disjointed she is - Azkaban didn’t help, but we saw in the Pensieve that she wasn’t the most stable person in the world even before that. As it was, I didn’t really get the unhinged fanaticism I would have ideally liked to see.
That aside, though, this was an amazing chapter. I love the way that our Harry continues to have experience and skill that their Harry very clearly doesn’t, and it’s clearly throwing everyone else off (for good reason). I hadn’t thought about the stone, really, but once the issue was raised, it made perfect sense to me.
I loved seeing Harry battle the Imperius Curse, and I found it really ironic that Barty Crouch Jr. - who in this world has always been at Voldemort’s side - is really responsible for his ability to do that. Every time I reread GoF, I’m confused by fake-Moody’s actions there - way to hand your enemy a super important tool.
I found it interesting that Harry was able to speak Parseltongue here and that his mother’s charm seems to still protect him, even though she didn’t die for him in this world - I’m still trying to figure out where the line is between our Harry and this world’s Harry, and at this point, I’m pretty confused. I was assuming that the protection wouldn’t hold, but that it is makes me wonder if there’s more confusion between the worlds than just Harry switching bodies right now. Hmm.
I was pretty sure Parvati showed up in a future banner, but I didn’t think that Seamus did - I was wondering why. I guess now I know - ouch, that was like a punch in the gut. (Not a sword in the gut, though!) That was harsh, but I can understand why you did it.
Ouch, though. Ouch. And I’m sure that Harry’s going to be completely wrecked by guilt that he got Seamus into this mess, and that he wasn’t even quite who Seamus thought he was. It raises the question - would Seamus and Parvati have come along if they’d known? I think they probably would have, but Harry can’t know, and I bet that’s going to weigh on him. I feel like he won’t be able to keep the truth from Parvati for much longer - I wonder how she’ll react to it.
At first, when Draco said that magic wouldn’t work in there, I actually assumed that he meant their magic - that Voldemort’s side could do magic. I guess that wouldn’t make much sense in this context, but I wasn’t stopping to think. I was thinking about it throughout this chapter, though, and it makes a lot of sense to me - he never really trusted anyone, so giving himself, and only himself, that power... yeah, I can see that even from a healthy Voldemort. An unhealthy Voldemort, who could be more easily defeated? Absolutely.