|Reviews for Light in the Darkness|
| Poiniard chapter 1 . 11/3/2003
This could really use a lot of polishing- spelling errors, a mixture of past and present tense, switching between first and second person, etc.
It's not really long enough for me to comment yet on the plot, but the characters at least seem interesting. Dialogue and description of the scene seemed pretty good, too.
Hope this helps, keep writing.
| Moonlight Pilot chapter 2 . 10/23/2003
ok, the full detail now...
I really like it. I want you to focus on making it longer. A little more detail can be used, but your choice there. I know that you are not making a profit off of this like you said in second chapter and stating that you don't have any money describes one thing... you're broke.
| Moonlight Pilot chapter 1 . 10/23/2003
Before I read this story, I just want to tell you in my next review; I might get ugly but it's only to help you improve. I never played D&D before but am getting into a campaign. Oh, I like the phrase in your description.. "Flames will be used to warm my house at night..." Sheer brillant!