|Reviews for A Journey of Self|
| Lycopene chapter 12 . 11/28/2005
COL! Story...I've just found this and can't help but to love it...it's is awesome...
I been looking for a story like this and can't help but to think it is really cool...
UPDATE SOON PLEASE! I'm pleading you...and I never plead...*winks*
| Deathzealot chapter 12 . 10/27/2005
NO! It was getting good! I want another chapter! *sobs* Anyways good job can't wait till the chapter is up...
| skywiseskychan chapter 9 . 6/22/2005
I just thought I should mention that in one of your chapters, (I printed them out to read away from the computer) you wrote
"Just a few weeks ago, istarted to really escalate," Kouichiro replied forlornly. "ever since the martian successor incident..."
I think you should change that a bit because it makes it seem as though she had not been missing for years after being kidnaped and presumed dead. Maybe just removing the word Ever would do the trick. As its written here the reader gets a squewed view of the timelines involved.
| skywiseskychan chapter 6 . 6/20/2005
unless there is a specific reason to have rubber bullets it doesnt seem to make much sense to point out that ruri has them at this point Its a somewhat unreasonable amunition to carry into a combat situation. Also again its a bit unreasonable to assume the captain wouldnt know who her assigned pilots were. On the other hand having Ruri decide to go out makes quite a bit of sense given her history and personality.
One idea if you are intentionally playing up the facelessness of 'background' charachters would be to merely pass over them by specifically mentioning the others then, "and the two other pilots windows opened up as well." A sort of acknoledgement of their existance without ever bothering to expound upon them. Ruri could mention all the pilots by name and then - the other two etc, instead of going to such a degree to make the utterly anoymous and unknown to all.
A better cause for ruri to launch without warning would be that the communications chanels were screwed up by his messing with the panel to make it play the cd than negligence on Haley's part. (btw shouldnt it be Hari?)
| skywiseskychan chapter 5 . 6/20/2005
Experimenting with splitting scenes was okay, but I think you should have put in a few less splits of the fight and longer chunks of Ruri Hari. This is because while the fight is good, eventually it just starts to drag when compaired to the more interesting events of the others.
| skywiseskychan chapter 4 . 6/20/2005
This is more of a comment on your notes than a review of the chapter. I did like your portrayal of Ruri. As for your notes I believe that your exactly correct in how she deals with her own feelings and the extent to which she might obsess over what others might see as minor incidents. That being so I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with this.
| skywiseskychan chapter 3 . 6/20/2005
While your staying quite true to the original you should be a bit more careful of your handling all the typcial events and how you depict them. While an example of your doing so well is admiral misumaru noticing Ruri's 'growth' I think that the introduction of some of the crew, could use work, perhaps just a few touches to show that ruri already knows who they are if not what they are like. As captain she should, as she's not like Yurika.
| skywiseskychan chapter 2 . 6/20/2005
A good solid chapter though I would have expected Ruri to carry her own bag. Still not quite sure what 'tone' you are going for, more serious as the movie or funy as the show, or as a friend and I have put it, where on the Stelvia to Ryvious angst o meter you are.
| skywiseskychan chapter 1 . 6/20/2005
A note on your name sufix's.
-Chan is generally reserved for young children, OR for a girlfriend, OR by a girl towards close friends, boyfriends or anyone else they feel like being cute or affectionate towards.
-Kun to my knowledge can be used by women or men but is almost exclusively used towards male friends who are out of the chan stage. Generally its used with given names. If you would call a man by their given name add Kun, and if you would call them by their familly name add san.
Now I'm on to read the story
| TimothyLin chapter 12 . 2/23/2005
Eh, could be my most favorite nadesico fic, however as you stated i'm more for the love-triangle... Tenkawa is just so badass! *just rewatched the movie*
| TimothyLin chapter 11 . 2/1/2005
YES! Finally after so long, (really!) you have updated! Truly one of the great Nadesico fanfiction, still wishing for a Akito/Ruri Pairing. _
What can i say? Your writing is great, good vocabulary, and the chracters are very uh.. in character.
Keep up the great work, update soon!
| pinkAestivalis chapter 2 . 1/30/2005
its awesome so far keep up the good work.
| Viscount chapter 10 . 9/25/2004
Ahh, poor Ruri is sad. plz write more, love it so far!
| Someone chapter 10 . 6/27/2004
My third review in two days, wow, you're fast with updates. P Liked this chapter too, with the faster paced action and the increased battles. The conscience thing is a nice addition, reminds me a bit about Evangelion with all the talks about the gifted/third, etc, etc.
Two gifted in the ruins? Ruri and Haley? Or is there somebody else lurking in the ruins?
I suppose that now Yurika is around, I guess its destined to be Yurika X Akito and Ruri X Haley..shame since I wanted to see Akito and Ruri together (T_T) Argh...we need more Akito X Ruri fics..
Anyways great stuff and I really can't wait for your next update!
*Dances around an alter praying for Akito and Ruri to be paired together...eventually*
| Someone chapter 9 . 6/27/2004
"I’m going to be vacillating between the Akito/Ruri pair and the Ruri/Haley pair throughout the story, though in the end there will be only one couple!"
Argh...please go with the Akito/Ruri pairing! P I bet deep down you're going to be doing Ruri/Haley pairing, judging by the effort you went to have them shop and eat together. Or are you keeping your choices open?
*Goes on to read the next chapter!* P