|Reviews for Shampoo 12|
| Guest chapter 3 . 3/28/2016
"once more jab." one
"didn't seem him" see
"Shark must of eaten him whole" must've
" shock the two father's back to" fathers
""That no (remove double quote)
"was it?." Delete period
"the starling revelation" startling
"placed in the water " placed it in
| Guest chapter 2 . 3/28/2016
"managed to sound as though she was surprised." as though she were surprised
Loving it so far.
| Spokavriel chapter 3 . 1/4/2016
I know this story is so old you are unlikely to do anything to it. But in this confrontation with Cologne on the roof Shampoo breaks open the Water tower. That is usually easily enough water to service the entire building even if it is only 1/4 full, they are often installed to help increase water pressure for entire neighborhoods. So why wasn't the roof flooded enough to trigger Ranma's curse? Considering how Cologne is blindsided its not like she would have seen the change. Just seems odd that that much water missed him.
| Spokavriel chapter 2 . 12/31/2015
I know its been a long time and you are unlikely to revisit this chapter. That said, I still don't see how this one works as written. Starting with how Ryouga can survive as a Bat. As a pig he was at least able to keep his supplies with him dragging the pack. He also is not in the chapter much at all. While I could see him being angry enough to not question Shampoo's claim at being Ranma once I just don't see him not making it back before the Gymnastics match.
About the time leading up to the match, in part 2, you left Ranma completely out of the story until they were already ringside. Does Shampoo-chan just not fight enough for anyone at the school to see her as a fighter? Why does Ranma have no contact with Kodachi at all? Seeing that this is a School event why wasn't Ranma in girl form? You used Ranma being male here well but I just think there should have been at least a moment where the characters brought it up.
But the real breaking point among the plot holes for me is when Akane sprains her ankle. Not only is it too soon you have her punt both Kodachi and then Mousse off the roof the same night. And if it had happened after punting them then it still would have been early enough to heal before the fight. Even if she were kicking with the other foot you can't stand and support yourself for a punt on a fresh sprain.
Daniel Thomas Stack
AKA Spokavriel at yahoo.
| SixPerfections chapter 18 . 4/13/2015
Damn. This was a good interlude. Taro and Akane? Now that was pretty clever. Plus Shampoo at the end was a total bosss
| SixPerfections chapter 15 . 4/13/2015
Wow. What a magnificicent story arc. The whole thing with Perfume started out a bit funny/goofy and ended up poignant and heart-touching. I had tears building up in my eyes, no joke. Also, Kasumi a reincarnated Chi Legendary Grandmaster, leader of the Juketsuzoku in a past life? Huh. Ok then.
I know this was completed years ago but I have to say... this is my favorite non-crossover Ranma 12 story I've ever read. Ok it is a crossover story but only a LITTLE bit thus far, doesnt count.
| SixPerfections chapter 11 . 4/13/2015
So good. A great mix of Ranma-style goofiness and fun and some real character development. Love it.
| SixPerfections chapter 7 . 4/13/2015
hehehe... Ryouga part was the best. Also, character development for Shampoo! Love it.
| SixPerfections chapter 6 . 4/13/2015
Hehe that was a great funny chapter. Romeo and Juliet ROFL. Hope they kiss eventually XD
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/24/2015
Too fucking weird.
| Wolf Goddess Reyith chapter 7 . 12/23/2014
I have a small question about this chapter. At the end of part one, you said that Akane got a haircut. I'm assuming this is the haircut that Ryoga originally gave her in the manga? Does that mean, up until this point, she had her long hair? What happened to it this time? Did it get cut during the fight? Maybe you mentioned it, and I just wasn't paying close enough attention. I'm sorry if you did address this, and I just overlooked it, but I'm a little confused at the moment.
| Mitchel Wallace chapter 38 . 12/6/2014
I have no idea if you still keep up to tabs on what people say about your work, but out of my sheer devotion and love for you work, I will say my thought, even should they remain forever unnoticed. You made characters I never thought would die, perish, but made them die in ways that gave them great face and honor. I thought it was all over, thought Xain Pu was really dead but when I saw there was a chance of her coming back I literally gripped my seat. And when she came back, tears. Manly tears of happiness, something I have never done. So, you have my thanks, for both my feels and an even great thanks for making this wonderful treasure of a fanfiction, I will continue reading until the end and cry when its over.
| UnseatedShinigami chapter 48 . 7/13/2014
Loved this. I wasn't sure about it at first when Shampoo-kun made his debut, but I'm really glad I stuck with it. This is easily one of the pinnacles of authorship that this site boasts and I would love to see you start an original work at some point.
Your characterization, flow, and attention to detail were superb. I loved how you used frequent minor crossovers to supplement the cast and story (my favorite easily being Ryouga's adventure with The Doctor) without allowing them to overshadow the Nerima crew. And when you did create OC's they were awesome. Case in point being the TWPOS cast, I freaking love those guys.
I was a bit upset over using some of your OC's as love interests but I can forgive it because it worked. There were few errors, either in material or spelling/grammar, but one major point did stick out. During the Ryu Komon segment you mixed up the two styles. Ryu possessed the Yama-Sen-Ken and Ranma learned the Umi-Sen-Ken. The techniques were correct, but you attributed them to the wrong style.
All in all I was very pleased with this, up until the climax. Unfortunately after that I found myself greatly disappointed. Not because of a decrease in quality but because you chose to set up for a sequel that you admit having no set schedule for, rather than wrapping up the loose ends and concluding on a high point. I personally would have liked to see them cured and had the wedding chapter as the finale. Sadly, now I must wait anxiously for a sequel that I can't be sure will ever come. Very frustrating.
Even so, I greatly enjoyed this and will happily be adding it to my favorites list. If and when the sequel is made I'm sure it will be joining its predecessor upon completion. Until that, hopefully soon, time comes I will have to be content with only one masterpiece.
| UnseatedShinigami chapter 38 . 7/6/2014
I usually wait until finishing a story before reviewing, but few have been as impressive as this. Truly this is a feat worthy of appreciation. This chapter contained one of, if not the, best climaxes of anything I have ever read; published or not. The formatting of the dual answer to Death was a little choppy, but that was the site's fault not yours. I truly love this epic and you can expect further input once I finish.
| AstroKitty chapter 10 . 6/28/2014
awww, I was pulling for Kasumi/Shampoo, but it seems you're heading for Ranma/Shampoo :/