|Reviews for A Vow of Serenity|
| Vegasnickle chapter 1 . 2/5
I honestly cannot express enough how much I loved this story. There were a few errors here and there, but I'm guessing that most of those came from the review you started to do. regardless of the occasional error, this is easily the best ff I have ever read. I would go as far to say as it was one of the best stories I've ever read, including regular books. You created an exceptionally captivating world that drew me in in a way that no other fanfiction has before. I genuinely enjoyed this so much and was enthralled the entire way through. I dreaded the end of this story because I knew there was no more, and that is truly the only reason I didn't finish it in one day.
The character development that you had for each person was exceptional, but the real star was Serenity. She goes from being a timid, sheltered and terrified little princess to being a soldier, to being a mage, to being a War Mage, to being a diplomat, to being a warrior, to being a Queen. Her development throughout the story is just incredible. You really aced the depiction of a girl being thrown into war and coming out a strong woman.
The relationship between Serenity and her Senshi was flawless. I adore your depiction of Rei especially, as she is much much much closer to her manga counterpart than many of the fanfictions and even the 90's anime have ever gotten. Her undying love and devotion for Serenity was true to the original source material and I adored it. Also, the love and respect that Serenity has for each of the Senshi was perfection.
My only real criticism of this is that I would have loved more Endymion and Serenity interactions. The chapter where they spend the day in the city was perfection and you captured their growing but hesitant love perfectly.
I genuinely am so sad that you no longer write, and especially that you have no more Sailor Moon fanfiction. You're easily the best writer I have seen on this site and I have read a LOT of fanfiction. This will go down in my memory as my favourite ff forever and I will never be able to forget it. I know it has been a long time since you posted this story, but I hope that you can see this review some day and know how much your incredible writing talents meant to some random person on the internet.
| hummingbirdweather chapter 18 . 12/14/2020
I first read this story back in 2009 and it has stuck with me this whole time. Ever since then I will come back every so often to re read it. I just wanted to let you know that this story means a lot to me, and I hope you are doing well.
| October Autumn chapter 18 . 8/30/2020
This is the first time I've reviewed this story,but I came across this years earlier when I was exploring the SM part of FFnet. Now and back then this story caught my attention. You see,I'm a major fan of the AU genre and always have been. There is something fascinating to me about taking different canon characters,plot elements,and lore from different kinds of media and reinterpreting it in a whole different way. And this story is one of the best in the SM fanfic community at doing that. The alternate universe you created feels natural and has rules of it's own for the magic it uses. At the same time you don't forget that this a SM fanfic,and you do great job of sneaking in allusions and parallels to the sources material.
Like for example,I though that making Luna Serenity's teacher in WarMage fighting was a good way of paralleling her role in the original show/manga. And the other four main main girls donning a different version of their canon Sailor Senshi forms just made me smile and it was also neat how you explained it in your verse as an old tradition of the Mage Guard in Namoris that stopped getting practiced. And that's just two of the things I've found.
This is a small thing,but I love the way you describe the scenery and actions of the characters. It feels believable for the world they're in,yet at the same time is true the style of SM if that makes sense. I love the way characters are characterized too.
There are two things overall in the story that bothered me and felt like the second half of this story was overall rushed compared to the first half. 1) The sword Serenity gets at the marketplace that the smith specifically made for her because of a future vision doesn't wind up getting used anywhere in the final battle. Endymion winds up getting to use his sword against Beryl,so it confuses me why not do the same for Serenity? Serenity herself at this point in the story has had training in using a sword and that was during a time of significant growth for her.
It would have been nice to call back to that growth in not just her actions,but the way she fought as well using a combo of her sword skills(using the sword gifted to her),her magic,and finally the Silver Crystal she was gifted. But it feels like Serenity just forgot her sword skills were another tool for her to use and because of that the final battle with Metallia felt a tad more underwhelming than it should've for me.
I'm wondering what exactly the point of the sword was and it felt a lot like a plot point that was dropped because you were rushing to the finish line.
2) What the hell happened to Diamond? Like,the last we see of him,he looks like he's forming a plan against Beryl when things go to shit for Namoris. But there's never any follow up after that to see how he's doing or of his status or anything about him. Did he die? Did he manage to make it out? What was his plan? Where did his true loyalties lie,considering what we know of his father?We learn nothing. At least Saphir got closure in his arc and character in a full circle way by making it clear to the reader that he'd died while being controlled by something malevolent.
It was a mercy kill and he went out the way he wanted to:by serving his princess and then queen Usagi on last time.(And even how he ended up at the palace where he should've been safe somewhere else makes sense too as he probably tailed them out of loyalty to makes sense for his character to do that.) It was sad,but it was satisfying. Diamond on the other hand wasn't. He basically vanished into the thin air after a certain point and he wasn't relevant at all. I felt like you could've easily have the Elysion Alliance group come across him at some point in their invasion to close out his character in some 's a shame that a character that was very prominent in the first part of the story didn't get any kind of satisfying end. I know you've edited this story once or twice and I can't see how you didn't catch an obvious flaw like this in your writing when you did.
Other than those two things though,I really do like this story a lot. The positives far outweigh the negatives for me. It's been on my list of favorites ever since I made an FFnet account and I occasionally go back to reread this story. I feel like it's one of the best SM fanfics this community has to offer. It seemed like you were wanting to at some point to make a sequel to this revolving around Minako in the same universe and I would've been down for that. Another chance to explore more of this universe,maybe see how you've improved since the first story. But that sequel never materiallized. And while I can see from your profile that you continued writing stories as recently as 2017,you never touched the SM fanfic community again. Which is kind of sad,but maybe you didn't have the muse for it. Maybe you fell out of SM fandom for whatever it was something else. We'll never really know.
I'm glad that you at least managed to complete this story and for the most part,make it feel a single one and done that doesn't rely on sequels to tell a complete story.
Most fanfics die uncompleted and don't get to finish the story being told,so thank you for sticking with this for 4 years until it was finally complete. I hope your career in official writing is going great.
| Guest chapter 18 . 6/25/2020
That was entertaining as Heck! Such a good story (I say 13 years later - I wonder if you’ll ever even read this lol). Although I do have to ask to what ever happened to the subplot with diamond, but whatever
| claymore78 chapter 18 . 6/1/2020
Pretty decent! I like it! A small bittwersweetness at the end. Good touch! Thanks for starting and finishing this fanfic :)
| tigerlily124 chapter 17 . 5/22/2019
Just letting you know that this was a fantastic story! It's worth reading through the pile of less than stellar fan fictions when you know that you will occasionally find the gems hiding there. Thanks for one of the gems!
| Tina Century chapter 18 . 3/26/2019
Wow. Just, wow. I have been absolutely entranced by this story for the last few days. I’ve ignored sleep and work just to power through it. I absolutely adore what you’ve done here; the entire world you built, the characterizations of Serenity and Endymion, the relationships between Serenity and the senshi. Stunning, stunning work. Thank you so much for this.
| sumire.syrup chapter 15 . 11/27/2018
well... that's one way to propose LOL.
UGH. I'm actually sad that safir died :( he really didn't deserve it. i wonder how involved him and his brother and the others (seiya, luna etc.) are with Beryl... if i recall correctly, there were 5 people who seeked asylum in Elysium from beryl...
anyways, another AMAZING chapter. seriously.
| sumire.syrup chapter 13 . 11/27/2018
ahhhhhhhhhhhh this chapter was so incredibly fluffy, mushy and super romancy! and just isn't enough :( I need MOAR.. MOAR endymion and serenity romance. literally can't get enough of them.
that hotaru, setsuna, haruka and michiru reveal was so wonderful and when hotaru handed serenity that sword, it gave me so much hope!
and oh my god. i feel it. it is the end, the storm has come and shit about to hit the fan.
| sumire.syrup chapter 12 . 11/27/2018
AHH! I can't wait for the last and final Mage guard to complete it all... I don't know how you keep writing such indepth and long chapters. Seriously. You should go write a book, you absolutely have the passion for it!
with everything going so well.. I can't help but think shit is gonna hit the fan so hard.
| sumire.syrup chapter 11 . 11/27/2018
your attention to your characters' mannerisms is SUPERB! that scene of Serenity bowing, but then quickly correecting herself to a curtsey but still failing... and then fleeing was so insanely endearing.. i'd be surprised in Endymion did not fall in love with her right then and there.
I kind of hope there's no brainwashing of Endymion or Serenity like in canon... sigh that's an angst trip I'm not ready to relive...
I love how Minako fit into the group like a glove. It was exactly how Venus easily mended into the group despite being the last senshi to be discovered.
UGH and that confrontation! I was on edge the whole time. Literally had to iron will myself to not speed read through it.
| sumire.syrup chapter 8 . 11/27/2018
I've been so absorbed in this fic I neglected to leave reviews... I noticed shortly after that you cleaned up the personal pronouns of Casmir! (yay!) and I really appreciate how much attention to detail you give for this fic. I love how the 'senshi' are coming together like they did in canon, i really love that. especially how you woven key elements of Sailor Moon into your fic. I love how you portrayed Usagi. She's so kind, compassionate, strong, and smart... coupled with her trademark clumsiness, emotional outburst, large appetite and a penchant for making friends.
And Rei, oh Rei. She's been so strong and did not deserve any of the harsh treatment that was given to her. I love her resilience. I know it's hard to trust, especially the enemy team and you did a really good job convincing us of that. Their friendship would've been quite meaningless if Rei had sworn alleigence to Serenity that easily so I'm glad for the fight she put up (even though somewhere deep down in her, she knew she should've given in). I love this SLOW BURN of a relationship between Rei, and Serenity. To win over the Fire Priestess is an amazing feat..
I absolutely CAN'T WAIT for Minako to appear. In this fic, she's literally a force to be reckon with. She steals the show everytime she comes on.
| sumire.syrup chapter 6 . 11/26/2018
Omg this was so amazing. I wish I could imagine it exactly as you did. There was so much imagery and poetic word play... oh God that endymion scene GAVE ME SO MUCH HOPE.
I cant wait for more minako appearance. I'm so happy for a mina x kun romance... will we see the other shittennou x senshi?
| sumire.syrup chapter 3 . 11/26/2018
"No one doubted that SERENITY had more heart than many men after their first battle... that if it hadn't been for HER they would all be dead,"
Just a small nitpick, the men in Camp Beginning referred to Serenity as 'Her' and 'Serenity' again. Does that mean they know she's a woman? No right? I guess it's just semantics but can be really misleading. I guess in this context, it would've been okay to refer to her as Casmir and 'He'
Oh i was totally fooled! I had thought that Luna may have suspected Casmir to be a girl, but truly, she had no idea.
The encounter with Rei was AMAZING. Your description was AMAZING. I wish i could imagine it exactly how you imagined it. (I knew it was Rei before Motoki even mentioned it!... it's too much fire to not be the princess of Mars)
Kennan Audim sounds too much like Ami... is it Ami?! BUT THIS IS A BOY?!WHAT?!
I'm wondering if there will be Shittennou/Senshi pairing... whatever. I'll be happy with whatever you do!
omg and ARTEMIS?! Will we see Minako very soon?!
| sumire.syrup chapter 2 . 11/26/2018
I loved this chapter! (despite the harsh bolded and italic font), it was so fun to read. I love how you kept Usagi's trademark mannerisms, her clumsiness and seeming incomptence (though we all know its more for comic relief because Usagi is not incompetent at all!) and her appetite. anyways.. I'm like 10 years too late but this fic shows that time does not degrade writing.
I love Luna's role in all of this. Feels like you paid tribute to the original Sailor Moon canon. Made me think of Usagi 'training' to be Sailor Moon. Seriously, really appreciate all the thought and effort you put into writing this. Each chapter is HELLA long. My god. I found I had to carefully and slowly read through everything to really understand the bigger picture.
Do some people already know that Casmir is a girl? I think Luna probably has an idea... Seiya MIGHT suspect but I doubt it... possible that Demando does... and maybe the guy in the Medical/hospital? He did identify her as 'a girl who was horrid at healing'.