Fabulous and sad.

i like this. i don't really know how to explain it, and in the laws of constructive critism, this is very unhelpful but, well... i like it. blah.

I've had this story in my favorites for a long time now, but I just re-read it. I wanted to tell you to keep up your writing, even if its never posted. (I understand how much work that is). I love how your story is simplistic, yet conveys so much at the same time. Even though it is a bit sad to read your ff version of HDM, "The storyteller" is based on a wonderful idea. I love the last page, and in particular, the last line. :) Its true that everyone has a story or two in their heart, and I'm glad you let me read one of yours.

~Sir Gimpalot I

"me of course...
Gad zooks I think I've got it.

M, marvellous. And of course, all your other fanfics could easily be creations of Lizzie's inventive mind (although she's an unusually good writer for someone of her age :))

Oh, very spiffy.
I love how complete you've made this with just two chapters - it'd be easy to continue if you wanted, but the story doesn't need it. You also actually brought the whole moral about stories across really well (it didn't sound preachy at all - just fitting).
And in regards to the first chapter, calling one of the girls that doesn't like Lizzie 'Rita Skadi' is really interesting, as Rita was really on the rebels [and indirectly Lyra's] side in HDM, despite being pretty ruthless. So that makes me wonder if Mary is supposed to be Mary Malone too, which makes even less sense, but says a lot about Lizzie’s character at the same time. Perhaps she’s just trying to make friends...
And I should probably also mention your depiction that sweatshopy place. You wrote it so vividly - it was quite disturbing.
But you knew that all along, didn't you? :P

o im a mad fan of HDM i love everything about it, but usually fanfics about it are kind of dissapointing becuz the writer gets hold of a good idea but doesnt take it far enough or doesn't write well enough. this one was very good, though, actually, an really good writer! good idea 2, how theres a reality inside another one.

coolcoolcoolcoolcool...

That was an excellent twist, I loved the originality. The second chapter really brought it together, but at the same time left it open to the reader's imagination. Realities within realities within realities... This definitely goes on my Favourites list.

Thanks for the additional chapter, Ceres! I think the reader deserved it.

Amazing, I love it! Very well-written, really really great idea! OMG I love it! The only thing I don't understand is where you're going with the plot, but I'm sure if you update soon it will be clear! Yay! O where does "Will" come in?

AWESOME

(I would have made this a signed review, but the system is being quite difficult)

I am also interested in how Lyra came up with this story. I think it's tricky if you begin a fanfic by dening the "reality" of the story you are borrowing from. The begining is quite shocking.

Is the last Lyra story a crossover to some other book (I get the idea, but I don't recognize it)? I think this could make for some very interesting crossover fiction if done right. The stories Lyra tells could come from all sorts of different books and tales. It would just depend on how you use those stories. Try to make it so that each of the stories you use has some relevance to the world you're trying to create, and also try to ground the stories in the reality of your world..(Not saying that you haven't done that already, but just keep that in mind)Because you've created an interesting reality here

As long as you don't get lost in the stories themselves then I think you have a really good thing going. Good! Keep writing and we'll see what happens. I love first chapters. There's always so much possibility.

Alright, you've got me listening. How did Lizzie get hold of the story, or is that the wrong question...best thing about the factory was the gradual revelation of its purpose-soldiers and slit throats certainly caught my attention. Have to say, I like Lizzie already. Is this a one-shot, or on-going?

I love it!

I love the way you incoperate other realities into your work, making them seem more real. The Clockmaker's Boy, Time and Peter Joice, and the stories of the movie and proffesor are my favorites.

I think it's great that you take the plot of HDM, and put it into a variety of forms and stories, expressing numberous ideas and thoughts.

Your work has definately inspired me! Thanks!