Reviews for Serving Time
GoldFox chapter 1 . 3/22/2006
wah! kurt died! no!

man, toad's got some serious problems!

that's a good story anyway, well thought out and well written.

wah! kurt died!
LeDiz chapter 1 . 12/17/2003
You know, I clicked that review button and knew exactly what I wanted to say...
But that wasn't exactly the best way to start a review, wasn't really that great to start anything. But then I put my hands on the keyboard and...
Nothing.
I couldn't get any words to come out. Except one. So You're gonna have to forgive me.
Fuck.
Jesus Mac freaking fuck.
Now I've got that out of my system. Actually, no I don't. I daresay it'll pop up again, but until such point, we'll try and keep it clean.
Sorry to all those youngsters reading this, but I had to say it.
That was an amazing piece of work, as always, but... jesus Amy... I am so glad I didn't read this yesterday. It's so indescribedly in character, and yet so dark and real and... that's the third time I've run my hands through my hair since starting this.
Try again.
THe characterisation runs into the narrative technique (sorry, have to use Lit. language sometimes) and it's really, and truely fantastic. I love how you've got him talking to the priest. The last rights or whatever they call it. I didn't pick it up for a while. I knew he was obviously locked up, but when I realised he was talking to someone, I thought it was like a psychiatric counsellor, (ala last episode of MASH), until he started getting angry. I don't know why, but once he started with the 'understanding' it got me thinking that... counsellors don't have to be understanding, but analytical, and despite everything, I think Todd would follow that. Maybe that was unintentional, but hey, since when have authors ever had any say on what things mean in fiction? Anyway. The priest was a good touch. Not only showed EXACTLY what he was feeling and thinking, but it fully proved... he knew what he'd done. He wasn't in shock or whatever, he was fully aware, and yeah, he felt sorry for it sometimes, but only for Wanda's sake. I think you said that somewhere, but if you didn't, sorry if I'm over reading.
That's what really hit me, too. He wasn't at all apologetic. He was doing it all for Wanda. He'd do anything for her, and he'd never stop doing everything for her. It kinda... I dunno how to describe it. It made a sick sort of sense, that he did it, if you looked at the whole picture. You've gotta think it through and see it from where he is. That makes the gun to the head perfect. I can actually see him doing it, too. Now I've had time to process, and I look back at what you wrote... I can see him standing over her, that tiny smile on his face, eyes half shut... I can't explain it, but...
Man...
And he gave her that final kiss from Kurt.
The Wanda and Kurt thing is beside the point, but I can see how it would hurt him. You managed to get that across.
Jesus, you've got me...
I have to admit, this one didn't make me roll my shoulders, but I was staring at the screen, hand over my mouth. It's kind of horrifying, yet addictive to read. Something you can't really stop reading until he finishes talking.
You know what happens to a Toad...
The "sick of bein' ignored" fully bowled me over, coz it was so true, and so real.
That's what scares me about this fic. It has, like all your stuff, a very realistic feel. Every single one of his emotions felt real and powerful, and it gave undertones to all these things that've happened to him, reasons for this one last final thing to hit him and break it completely, he has no reason to keep following this 'I can tough it out' train of thought, because she's gone from him. Forever. And he knows that, and the one person to take it from him was...
Not that I think that if it had been anyone else it would've been different. It gives me the idea that really he was slightly losing it, because he wasn't keeping track of the fact that a tail was not a good thing. He would've seen anyone as perfect, at that point.
Or at least, that's what it feels like.
It's the lack of revulsion that I get from this fic that stands out the most. Especially now, I feel kinda... numb.
The ending was... it was an ending. Truely. He kenw what was going to happen. He wasn't apologising to anyone but Wanda. He didn't expect anyone to feel sorry for him or take pity. He wasn't proud but like hell was he gonna be weak. He was so... clear.
The last line was perfect, but it wasn't my favourite. I love the fourth last paragraph. It's at the top of my page and I've been rereading it when I get lost in what I'm trying to say. Where he's saying he doesn't want to repent and he isn't scared.
I wish I could say something better than all that for you. I wish this helped you any way. But it can't. I wish this review was more for you than to help me think about it. I wish I hadn't completely mussed up my hair in order to show you how overwhelming it is.
All I can say is this was a terrifying and beautiful piece of work, Yma.
Summed up in a word that I shouldn't have said.
You're an amazing author, and to tell you the truth I'm amazed you'll even read my stuff. You, my friend, are...
I'll see you next time.
Luv always, DeLiz
scarlet sapph chapter 1 . 12/4/2003
Wow..that was really awesome. Poor Todd! v_v
Sailor X1 chapter 1 . 11/20/2003
If I could do one of those low whistle things, I would. But I can't whistle so whatever.

Anyway, this is... dang. You weren't kidding when you said dark. I like it though, very creative. Some of it makes me go "eh" as far as the religious aspects go, being a christian, but as far as quality stories go... this is fabulous. I'm learning that quality is a rare find in fics.

Interesting with the whole dialect thing. Most people tend to give up on it but you kept it consistent. Kudos for that.

Awesome job as usual,

Sailor X1

P.S. You mentioned that you were going to read my other fics... uh heh _ Go right ahead, but don't be surprised if you want to gag. Healing was the first fic I EVER wrote... and it shows. But anyway, just thought i'd let you know.
anaisninja01 chapter 1 . 11/17/2003
Okay, let me go cry until a puke(in a good way) for just a minute. Oh my God, that was so awesome. I'm seriously weepy and nauseous, which means you've really stirred up some emotions. I can't even make a good review, I'm in such shock. The only criticism I can think of is that I didn't like the dialect. It didn't sound right, in my head, but I'm only good at reading Southern dialect, so don't worry about it too much. If you want a more in depth review, email me, and I'll mail you back. I just need to think about this for a while. SO GOOD!
TheLostMaximoff chapter 1 . 11/17/2003
Awesome. I always wanted to do a dark Toad/Wanda fic but this one is darker than even I could think up. Excellent job.
Helly chapter 1 . 11/16/2003
what an amazing piece of writing - sad, touching, real insight into the character. i must check out more of your stuff! write on . .
Dark chapter 1 . 11/16/2003
This was an amazing story. Very original.
Invader-Hime chapter 1 . 11/16/2003
Wow, that was dark. The language use with Todd's accent was great though, nice touch. That was a poignant look at my favorite Brotherhood member and a creepy AU telling! Nice job!
Calamari Rings chapter 1 . 11/16/2003
Wow. That's...wow. Wow.

This just made my day. Er. Night. Er. Very early morning.

Jesus. Beautiful. Scary, morbid, sad. WONDER-FRICKING-FUL.

Todd got the chair, right? The "sit in a chair and do the electric dance" part refers to that...but I'm not sure.

I love all the DETAIL you put into these fics of yours, even though this one's a pretty short oneshot. I could go on and on. But I won't, 'cuz it's really late and I need sleepy.

But. I will be quoting that last line for quite a long time. And I lovelovelove how you do Todd's accent.

Please write more BH fics. I adore them and I feed on them like some sort of detestable parasite leechthing.