Reviews for Darkness Rising
websurffer chapter 3 . 3/13/2009
I'm still holding out on a last sad, withering hope, that one day you'll come back to this story, and at the very least finish the trial scene.
Deppfreak chapter 25 . 9/13/2007
Ok, so now I’m coming to take Sands away! Where’s my new up-date? What about the deal? And where’s my gun? (ok, I don’t have any guns but still that doesn’t mean I’m not going to kill!) jk, jk. So don’t call the police. But I’m still unhappy and rather depressed. It’s been ages since your last up-date and I can’t stand it any more! I’m impatient and a bit dangerous.:) or just in a great need of an up-date. Lol, up-date soon! What’s making you be so cruel? Writer’s block? I hope not. Or maybe you’re just too busy to post. Or too lazy (just like me which is a good thing since I’m lazy too; so take it as a compliment. But it’s not making me feel any better for whatever reason you haven’t up-dated yet!)

PLEASE! Do up-date! Or else…
Deppfreak chapter 25 . 8/19/2007
It’s so dark, so wild, so CRAZY! Oh, my…I’m panting right now! This story is full of overwhelming moments I’m afraid I may not survive to read the ending. What are u doing, lol? I have to admit I haven’t read sth like this before. Never before in my life have I read sth so terrifyingly breathtaking, so stunningly amazing, so astonishingly crazy. U have such a brave heart to kill all those people in a few chapters and a great mind to save Sands’ ass outta each lethal trouble in a graceful, easy way. I love ur writing style; it’s so unique. And I specially found it so charming that u don’t let Sands fall for ANY kind of girl. Maybe ur just keeping him for yourself; I think I can put up with this bitter fact as long as you give us sth to distract our imaginative minds from thinking of him; what u say? Story up-dates in exchange of Sands? That’s such a fair deal if u ask me. You’d better post the next chapters fast or else I’ll come and take Sands away with me! And don’t ask how, I’ll find a way somehow! He he he. (that’s the sound of my laughter, u know.)
websurffer chapter 2 . 10/29/2006
Okay, well I decided that since I was wasting away from the despair cause by you not updating, I would leave a really long review detailing every single thing I love about this story in hopes of inspiring you to update. Even if the update is short and badly written, it would be better then this vile limbo state you've left your innocent readers residing in.

First off, I love you opening sentence. The mental image it paints of the darkness hidden within a person calling to them, tempting them, until they want to give in, it's a powerful thing.

I also love you line "The blackness of a star's shadow". It's poetic and different and beyond the cliche phrases that lesser authors (including myself) use so frequently.

Actually, the entire "blackness" paragraph is amazing. It encompasses so many ways of describing the evil blackness and bringing it into personification that even professional writers would be impressed.

Then there's Sands's semi-innocent confusion when he first awakens to the dead body in the bed with him. His panic and completely human reaction helps offset this some-what saner Sheldon from the later criminal Sands.

Also, the fact that Sands ripped out her eyes is highly ironic, obviously due to the events in the movie.

There's a little bit of a hang up later on in that paragraph you keeping on saying the "urge to retch" and it gets a little wordy and repetitive...

I love how Sands tries to will away the scene before him. The fact that he is unable to accept this death of a totally stranger is moving in a way. True, the reason he can't accept it is because he is most likely the one who killed her, but it still humanizes him in a way that would have other wise been very difficult to achieve. This humanity is also underlined by his thoughts in the next paragraph, where he admits to himself that with out balance and control, he is lost.

The sudden transition from freaking out to pissed off at the mere thought of having lost his balance really emphasizes Sands's inner darkness rising to the surface.

I just love the way you use the word oubliette. That just has to be the best word ever.

Although, I am a little confused. You have him "not even daring to mention his despised first name within the sanctity of his own mind" (or something like that) but earlier in the chapter you have him calling himself Sheldon when he is freaking out at first. Maybe he only slips because he is so freaked and now that he has calmed slightly he doesn't want to mention it again?

It's really quite morbid, the scene where Sands is zipping the garment bag. He wants to know what colour her eyes were? And he thinks she was beautiful? The caressing her face would be sweet, if she was a asleep rather then dead.

And, as a random question because I don't honestly remember if we ever find out, where did her eyes end up? And did you know that it has been just over a year since you updated?

I really like the sardonic tone to his observations of the scene. There he is, completely nude and covered in blood, next to a body in a bag and a blood soaked mattress. It would have been interesting to see his reaction had some one walked in for some reason.

I'm kind of curious (and this is a little morbid in and of itself) but how did he keep her from screaming? He is in an apartment complex so unless the screams sounded pleasured or he has sound proof walls, then wouldn't some one have come to investigate? My first guess would be that he was engaged in certain "activities" and then, before he stabbed her like crazy and ripped out her eyes, he slit her throat. Or he choked her like he does with the girl in the coatroom later on, thusly containing any sounds she might have made. If her throat were slender enough, that would also leave him with one hand free to do the stabbing and the ripping... Hmm…

And now that you are completely freaked out, let's move on!

I think Sands little thought of 'Listening to voices in your head very BAD' is pretty funny. Especially with the response he gets.

And I really like the line " Because he certainly wasn't a homicidal maniac." It sort of a 'the lady doth protest too much' type thing. Like, 'nope not me. I'd never kill any one. Never. Nope not ever' Especially when he just keeps going on about how he could never do anything like that. It just supports the evidence to the contrary.

I hate to break it to him, but in his case, killing one person does make him psycho. Not matter what he thinks.

And we arrive at chapter 2! Yes, everything above this point was all chapter one. And you have 25 chapters... I might have to break this up a little...

When Sands gets out of the shower, it seems like a transformation has occurred. He no longer feels anything for the dead girl except irritation that he has to find a way to dispose of the evidence. Also, the fact that he believes himself capable of talking his way out of murder charges seems to mark an increase in his arrogance level.

I find it endlessly amusing that he considers the voice in his head telling him useful things about disposing the body to be his conscience. If that isn't sick and twisted then nothing is.

The sad thing is, Sands's observations about how he needs to dress are probably true. Most people would just assume that there were garments in the garment bag ( no way, huh?) and leave it at that, unless he wore something completely out of the norm for those who own garment bags. (Is there a norm for those who own garment bags?)

When you start responding to the little voices in your head out loud, you know that you are in BIG trouble...I guess no one told Sands that.

Mm...I love the outfit he chooses...Sands in leather and silk, what more could a girl ask for?

I am, once again, deeply amused by his reactions. The way he becomes completely calm about possibly killing some one and then freaks out when he discovers that she is with the CIA is just amusing to me...which in psych-speak probably means I'm REALLY messed up but oh well.

It would have been really ironic if the shot from the gun had hit him. Killed, in a way, by his murder victim. Karma would have been at its best, but the story would have, obviously, been much shorter...

"Why no, officer. I don't know where the body came from. Yes, she does appear to be murdered, doesn't she?" That is priceless...and I can actually see Sands pulling it off too...

I'm pretty sure that there is some psychological term for Sands wanting to be caught, to have his crime acknowledged...but I can't remember it. Then again, there is probably a psychological term for everything...

Oh, about fate having a sense of humour? it really does. I was in a car crash (my very first. Fucking scary.) on Friday the 13th and I have to go to court about it on Halloween. How freaky is that?

I really love his reaction to her laughing at his first name. It's sort of an 'I can laugh at it but YOU certainly can't' thing.

And can you believe that short little amount brought us all the way to chapter 3?

I really love his first answer to her question of what he does for a living..."Mostly I like to fuck with people's minds."

I also like Yette's comment about there being no such thing as a secretary any more. Political correctness is going a little bit crazy now-a-days if you ask me...which I know you didn't but oh well.

I swear, you have the best clothing descriptions. Sands is one of my favorite characters and the outfits you put him in compliment everything about him.

And Yvette shocking him is just hilarious. I mean, most girls don't just come out and say that sort of thing, even if they were just thinking about it.

I definitely like it when the "little voice" gets vindictive and totally rips into Sands. It's sort of like a smack in the face saying 'wow, you're dumb!"

And I thought you did fine with the smut scene. Lord knows I can't write it at all.

I just don't like Roland. He's sort of the opposite of Sands in every way and so...I just don't like him. He seems like a high school jock, all grown up but still picking on the weird kids.

I think it'd be really interesting if Sands ended up being able to kill or seriously injure Roland because he didn't have his gun. Especially since he makes such a big deal over having it with him.

And by now, if you are still reading, I commend you. This has to be one of the longest reviews ever written.

I think it's a little bit strange that Sands slips so easily into referring to himself as plural, but I suppose that that comes from his subconscious knowing about his MPD all along...

The "Sheldon is out Sands is in" part makes me think of whatever colour is the new black or whatever other colour...

I really love his conversations with Jeff. As an artist my drawings usually "speak" to me most insistently until I get them down on paper in a way that I am satisfied with, so I can sympathize a little with Sands. It gets really annoying having a little voice in your head whining all the time...

Also, you say it doesn't take that long to make Puerco Pibil? Have you watched the special features on the DVD? It takes, with prep time, about 5 hours to make. It's really easy, I make it all the time for parties and such, but it takes forever. Also, no Mexican restaurants serve it. At least, not in my area. Which sucks, because I'm extremely lazy and all that work just doesn't appeal to me if I can get it from somewhere else.

I love the restaurant scene. I can completely picture Sands giving Roland this little creepy grin of 'ha ha! I'm gonna do this and you can't stop me.' And setting a lady's hair on fire? Not cool. Unless it wasn't her really hair. But honestly, girls spend way too much effort on their hair to justify burning it off. Or even cutting it all off really, if it is against the girl's will.

And now that I'm on chapter 7, I'd love a copy of the cover art that Halia drew. Especially if it really is good. Well-drawn art is so hard to find these days (and yes, I do include myself in the 'bad art' category more often then not).

And yeah, in Word, this is nearly four pages. And I'm only to chapter seven. Fun huh. Even more fun when you think of how long this is going to be when I finish all the chapters...I wonder if there is a limit on how long a review can be. I've never really read one/ seen one as long as this one. Maybe I'll set a record or something.

I love the phone call. It completely underlines Sands newly revealed shift from "good" to "evil"...and golly do I sound like a cheap Star Wars fan...

And I think this might be long enough for now. It's taken for ever to type and I accidentally closed my window about 300 times so I'm just gonna post this now.

PLEASE update soon.
Guest chapter 25 . 8/17/2006
This story is fantastic, please update soon
websurffer chapter 1 . 6/4/2006
Please please update this fic! I know that you (unlike me) have a life outside of but I love this story and can't wait to find out what happens.
just jacs chapter 25 . 5/12/2006
*stunned silence*

I love this you can't leave it here you simply have to update! Please update I loved this as you can tell by the reviews I have left while reading this you really really have to update.
just jacs chapter 20 . 5/11/2006
aww this is gettig good I don't want it to end soon!
just jacs chapter 16 . 5/11/2006
okay I felt really sorry for Jeffery in this chapter, you've really got me seeing them as two seperate people also Sands better return soon lol
just jacs chapter 13 . 5/10/2006
i'm still loving this but he's/they're really insane i'll be back to read more later.
just jacs chapter 10 . 5/10/2006
I love Jeffery I now see him as a totally seperate person lol maybe i'm insane too :p either way he really makes me laugh. I know he's part of Sands and a killer etc but can I keep him anyway?
just jacs chapter 7 . 5/10/2006
lol that chapter was good it made me laugh a lot but Sands/Jeffery they're both going insane are they not lol
just jacs chapter 6 . 5/8/2006
this is amazing I will be back to read more later seeing as it's the middle of the night.
just jacs chapter 5 . 5/8/2006
hi just have to drop in a review. This is amazing, i'm honestly loving this i'm hooked. The first part of this chapter with Sands and Jeffery made me laugh but seriously this fic is amazing i'm off to read more
Dr.E. Vance chapter 7 . 2/27/2006
Just wanted to say this is amazing so far. And can you send me the link for the cover art? I'd really like to see it...
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