|Reviews for Zone of the Enders: After Antillia|
| Grey Wolf4 chapter 3 . 6/27/2012
Nice ZOE fic especially in light of the fact it was written before the ZOE: Second Runner nevertheless this was rather nice. On a whim I decided to read this.
| KnightyNight chapter 8 . 9/12/2007
Wow! I love this story and this is my most favorite ZOE coupling indeed! I really look forward to the next chapter indeed! I wish you the best of lukc in the next chapters for I like it a lot!
| Blazeflare01 chapter 8 . 2/8/2007
Awesome story, very ingenuitive. The introduction of Iblis in this story (although BIS' involvement in the UNSF aquiring the frame suggests the paradox of BIS not caring about Ares/Vale anymore, which doesn't seem right to me, unless you played down the route with Bolozof using it in the end during The Fist of Mars,) has me wondering if it still has a signifcant role to play, and your portrayals of Nohman and Viola are some of the most accurate I've seen in a fanfic. The use of a fake Anubis with Celvice inside was perfectly done. Can't wait for the next chapter!
| tasteywheat chapter 8 . 4/6/2005
UPDATE! it is very good
| Warrior of Virtue chapter 8 . 3/16/2005
This is a very impressive peice of work. I hope you write more soon.
| r chapter 8 . 10/18/2004
| MJP chapter 8 . 9/1/2004
I like it! Transitional action between ZoE and FoM is always good.
I'd just run this past a proofreader next time... there are a couple of minor tense and grammar errors. I'll leave the content reviews and canonization to Wing Zero Alpha and Swordmaster Silvace until I can get my hands on Idolo and Dolores.i and watch 'em.
| DarkFeenix chapter 8 . 6/8/2004
Hey this is great fic :)
replayed through ZoE and whatched zoe OVA and I got this need to read some celvice/leo stuff :P
well the fic is good, dialogue is good(could use some work on it but it's still lot better than 50% of fics on here ffnet)
action is fine, it's kind of hard to write it well...
and it has nice touch of WAFF in it :) well I had fun reading this and I hope there'll be update soon and that I remember to check for it
Signature, what is that?
| d chapter 8 . 4/16/2004
| AnotherOdjn chapter 8 . 4/16/2004
Eh, it's looking better, actually. Still maligned with the facts, but I'm really starting to not care anymore; the story does alright with what little it has and ends up being somewhat entertaining.
The only problem I see is is that there's about two lines of dialogue dedicated to a certain mood or so...then it kind of glazes over into something else. In other words, the fluff was good; but it kind of fizzled out too soon. I really like Leo/Celvice, personally, and it was a shame they didn't get long to enjoy one another.
Overall, it looks and reads just fine now; despite a rocky and kind of uncomforting start. The scripting with point of view changes is still a turn-off, and probably something to look into improving. Else, all I can say is that it's getting better and that's a good thing considering most authors I see just don't try to improve any; hooray, at least you have.
As usual, good luck and keep going. I have a mild interest in seeing how this ends, so by all means, get going and write more! :P
| paladin2007 chapter 7 . 4/4/2004
And I thought Crim was gonna kill Leo. Oh well, so much for that idea. Leo needs more allies anyways. No! Celvice was captured. Hope she doesn't die. Anyways, nice story. Update soon. See ya.
| thisdoesn'texist chapter 7 . 3/20/2004
kick ass, continue
| Dragon Scales 13 chapter 6 . 1/16/2004
Whoo-hoo! Finally! Celvice and Leo romance! Can I see some ass-kicking please?
| Dragon Scales 13 chapter 4 . 1/16/2004
"he also helped Vi- I mean my sister"
*cough- VIOLA!- cough*
"Today is the anniversary of my sister's death," Crim answered. "The fourth anniversary to be more precise." "How did your sister die?" Leo asked before realizing what he said. Crim stiffened up when he heard the question and Leo half expected him to say "None of your business" or something along that line. But instead Crim answered him. "She was killed by someone," he answered bitterly. "Someone who I've sworn to kill for what he did to her."
Uh- oh. Leo?
Your ass is TOAST. UPDATE!
| AnotherOdjn chapter 4 . 12/16/2003
Okay, just finished this one now.
Alright, I know this is slight AU, but...I dunno, there's just no sense in a number of things; you're now citing things from the ZOE universe that are just undeniable. Viola has no blood family! She evens says so at some point in ZOE, I believe. Also, why isn't Crim harboring anything for Radium? His "brother" was the mastermind behind the attack on the Orbital Elevator in Dolores,i and has (for all we know) died in the encounter.
The stuff with Born In Space and Iblis you might want to check with Wing Zero Alpha about. Myself, that's the only game/anime I'm missing besides Idolo (seen Dolores,i and the PS2 games). From what he's told me in the past, I'm quite in doubt to what's presented here.
I'm also a little skeptical as to how Crim would know Jehuty and Leo killed Viola unless someone on the Atlantis told him.
There's also something else that's bugging at me. From what Crim explains, apparently he was off puttering around up until Viola's death. That's when he joined BAHRAM, right? Well, you already stated that this fic takes place six weeks after Antilia; so that means he joined AFTER the Antilia Raid, quit and became a space pirate with full Orbital Frame training, and then got signed to Antilia all within six weeks? Hm...something here is punching holes in his story. Whether or not this is what you have planned is anyone's guess, but at the moment, it's hard to believe. Orbital Frame running hardly seems that simple; if anything, I'd suspect it'd take more than one month or so.
Also, you're also forgetting what Atlantis was originally planned to do. It was to transport Jehuty to Mars in order to self-destruct within Aumaan and eliminate BAHRAM's latest threat. Why is it screwing around out in space, wasting time training Leo to pilot it when it's going to blow up anyway? Aumaan has priority, I'd suspect, and now that I think about it, it'd make more sense to train Leo at LEV piloting instead since Jehuty is going to go boom soon.
Again, I know this is AU but to be honest, in the back of my mind, this is becoming less and less realistic plot-wise. As a story of revenge and coming-of-age for Leo, it's doing GREAT. I compliment you on that, but it's not structured within ZOE well enough. I like seeing fics about Leo, about his relationship with Celvice, and I love made-up characters (which are the reasons I read this) but it just lacks that structure I mentioned. I just fear it'll become an original story with ZOE mentions and characters, which is the degree where AU just goes too far for comfort.
Anyway, overall, I can't really say "good" or "bad". As said, I like the idea for the plot and I like what you've done with the characters, but the way the ZOE storyline has taken some nips and tucks is a little uncomfortable for me. I'd consider this if I were you; as said, there's a degree to which AU just goes too far and you should really be careful of that.
Either way, good luck in the future. If you have any other questions or concerns, just say so.
And for heaven's sake, fix those paragraphs! It's hard to read all that blocked text.