|Reviews for Redemption|
| BurningDownTheHouse chapter 13 . 1/3/2005
| TN shipper chapter 1 . 12/5/2004
Oh Wow what great story! I love the drama and the suspenses :)
| Protectress of Dalidon chapter 13 . 5/7/2004
Do they need physical contact? Would she hide from him? Would she want to appear weak before her crew?
Yes your story is good, yes it's got a heap of potential, but you've rushed it, you've gone too far too fast with too little for the reader. I love this story, the idea that someone can hack into her mind and slowly rip her apart is brilliant, it works. But if you refine it, take this as a first draft and recreate the terror, the absolute all consuming horror, she felt when she saw the body fall, her disbelief in the possibility that he could have succumbed to an Agent. The desperate acceptance that lead her to raise the cold weapon to her temple, the painful relief when he took that option away from her. If you gather that, which is all in your work already, and make it more obvious but not to the point where it's sickening, just enough so that the reader knows it's something more than simple action/reaction stuff. Diffucult balancing act I know, but you have so much potential! If you want help, don't hesitate to ask because I really do think you can go so far with this story in a quality way.
May the muses smile on you
| lulu chapter 13 . 5/7/2004
I was just randomly clicking around, and decided to re-read this one and what do you know? there's a new chapter!
It was just perfect- a nice ending, descriptive writing, just perfect.
I'm looking forward to reading more from you
| angelpig chapter 12 . 2/23/2004
Please,please,just go on.
I love this.
| lulu chapter 12 . 2/13/2004
You finally updated! I love this story, it's so well written and amazingly detailed and you just hit the characters right on! Don't stop updating now, I've been waiting for this one for weeks!
| SapphireNight chapter 12 . 2/13/2004
WOW, WOW! that was simply brilliant! that was such a good chapter!
i've been folowing the story for a lond time, and i've always thought it to be really good. strange thing is that i check to see what the last thing i wrote in a review for this, and i realise ive never reviewd! i'm so so sorry about that! you deserve all my praise times 10! im sorry, really sorry about that.
well done! keep going, i need to see that last chapter!
| Trinfan chapter 12 . 2/13/2004
That's a very good ending of that chapter,very, very good!
| Protectress of Dalidon chapter 12 . 2/13/2004
Not bad, but I think could extend and enhance what you have. Plus I really don't think she would be that easy to convince that he wasn't dead. Just my opinion, I really like what you have but there is room to make it fantastical.
Please consider this a review and not a flame, just trying to help.
See you next time :)
| Heletia chapter 11 . 2/6/2004
OMG, I've been rereading and rereading this for ages and I just can't wait any longer for another chapter! please?
It's so well written and so good and the cliffhangers in nearly every chapter are just... I just want more!
| Trinfan chapter 11 . 1/3/2004
Oh my god, you're evil to stop here:-)It's so sad...please update asap I can't wait till I know how it will go on!
| Protectress of Dalidon chapter 11 . 12/20/2003
Ok, so the greatest warrioress in the entire fleet is going to commit suicide over the One? I don't think so. As far as characterisation goes, she gets angry, she gets even, then she has a breakdown, your order is slightly off. Sure, she's going to be upset that Neo is dead, again, but it would be way more productive and probably drilled in through training, to get to an exit and regroup. A bullet through your own head is the cowards way out and Trinity is not, and never will be a coward. Just my opinion, take it or leave it. Well written though.
| Protectress of Dalidon chapter 10 . 12/13/2003
And then what? Teaser chapter, gr, hope you have a decent update soon, teasers are really annoying ;p
Next part please
| Protectress of Dalidon chapter 9 . 12/10/2003
OMG! Save her Neo! Wait, can he save her? Can he get her back to the real world or does she have to stay in the Matrix to be saved? Oh gosh, please hurry, I'm biting my nails in anticipation.
| Trinity chapter 8 . 12/8/2003
Really a great story, you shoul;d type more to it though.