|Reviews for Foreigner|
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/22/2011
Who knew that from writing this you will write Lost World in the future.
| littlegreengirl chapter 1 . 1/12/2011
You might want to consider separating the text more. . .
The big chunks are really putting me off reading this.
| DovieDM-1991-Promised Wings chapter 30 . 5/27/2010
I love this story cant wait to read the sequel!
| LVOWL chapter 1 . 5/14/2010
this sounds really interesting but its soo hard to read since its all blocky. could you PLEASE put it into paragraphs with spaces in between? i know its alot of work to go back and redo it but i really think the story would benefit from it. thanks for your time.
| sesshomaruluver1 chapter 1 . 3/28/2009
Hey, I clicked on your story cause the summary sounded good but because you have very large paragraphs it kinda puts me off reading it and it might put others off aswell. I'm sure your story is good but it would look more readable with smaller paragraphs, if you don't mind i suggest you ask someone to beta your story but it is just a suggestion so you don't have to.
| XoXSilver.DragonXoX chapter 1 . 9/11/2008
1. Fix your paragraphs. New ideas mean the START of a new paragraph. When someone starts a dialogue, it usually means a new paragraph. If you still don't understand hit up wikipedia and search "paragraphs."
Your story probably has little readers/reviewers because of the fact that your presentation is a turnoff. No one wants to waddle through a muckload of words without paragraphs. (double space between paragraphs to make it easier on the eyes too if you decide to listen to my criticism.)
2. Uh... don't use & in replacement of 'and.'
3. And if you've already heard tons of people tell you this... still fix up your story. FF dot net clearly states in it's STORY RULES that you should present your story as cleanly as possible for readers.
Up to you whether or not you wish to listen.
| Andromedia Aberth chapter 30 . 3/9/2008
Good story.. What happened to the sequel? It never showed! It's been... a little over FOUR YEARS since you finished this story!
| Me Myself and I and Us and chapter 2 . 6/10/2007
_ I like it. Its fast paced - not like you have to wait for everything to happen. I just didnt expect Sesshoumaru to be so willing to go to the future at the first suggestion. It would make sense for him to go, but he doesn't strike me as an extreme rish taker.
| KalicoFox chapter 1 . 4/26/2007
Good fic so far, but try double spacing the lines, it makes it easier to read.
| White Alchemist Taya chapter 17 . 8/15/2006
| White Alchemist Taya chapter 16 . 8/15/2006
awesome! but i wonder when she will see the others.
| White Alchemist Taya chapter 15 . 8/15/2006
nice! but i've never watch yuyuhakushou before so i dont know much of it.
| White Alchemist Taya chapter 14 . 8/15/2006
oh shit! this is not good!
| White Alchemist Taya chapter 13 . 8/15/2006
what world is she in now?
| White Alchemist Taya chapter 12 . 8/15/2006
omg! dragon ball z!