|Reviews for The Final Duel|
| Dave chapter 7 . 7/22/2004
Good story. You do action very well, and you are able to do what few others can, and that is to make the action part of the character development. Too often in stories these days, it's just hack and slash without putting any meaning behind the actions. Movies just want to make fights as fast and exciting as possible. The great thing about Entreri and Drizzt, is that you can actually see their personalities in the way they fight, and that usually determines the out come. You did a good job with that.
Having said that, you might have put a little too much action into the story. It was fun to read, but it got in the way of the plot. But then, the story was called "The Final Duel" so I guess the plot is fighting. I guess I'd like to see what you could do with a longer story that built up around the fighting, but this was entertaining.
Also, while I am in the process of turning Entreri into a good guy (well, really just a reluctant hero) in my stories, I'm not one who should criticise a character shift for Entreri, but I thought it was a little too sudden at the end.
I hope you keep writing.
| ViolaSilvTwelfthNight chapter 7 . 6/12/2004
Though I haven't read any Forgotten Realms novels, you have managed to create a very vivid atmosphere with this piece, conveying to me the character of the world and drawing me into your story-which, of course, ended up being an entire novella. If I had been writing it, I would, of course, have made the love scenes longer, but hey, you are a man. ;-) Excellent work all around. I look forward to purchasing your first published novel-or maybe you could send me a complimentary copy? Haha.
| chickens chapter 7 . 5/27/2004
Oh, how this moved me. This was a perffect, er, ending? Or should I say begining? Has drizzt really died? Did the healing ruby work it's magic to save him? Will Jar'laxle find his way into the next story? You have my heart felt praze for this story. I do not have enugh time to tell you all the things that make it good, nor how much emotion it brought in me. Your skills amaze me. And your story moves me
| Obscurebookwyrm chapter 7 . 4/27/2004
Wow. That was rather unexpected, and yet eerily fitting. I sincerely hope that you post a sequel, but "The Final Duel" may be a hard act to follow. Congratulations!
| Estindel chapter 7 . 4/17/2004
I had not read the epilogue yet,
and was really delighted, touched,
angry, you name it. What emotions
you bring up with your skills,
d'arthur! I am waiting for
the barbarian shaman, or
whomever, to heal Drizzt.
Estindel, aka suzanne
| Silverbane chapter 7 . 3/9/2004
This is beyond a shadow of a doubt one of the best fics I ever read. I hope that this story is not finished yet, and will eagerly await for more. Take a bow D'Arthur for a story well written.
| jeffo chapter 6 . 3/7/2004
wa well writen but sad this isn't the end there is thill that genral tring to kill people
| Donaruie chapter 6 . 3/5/2004
That's not the end is it? IS IT? it can't be! You can't do that too me! *Shakes Author* No no! Say it isn't so!
| Estindel chapter 6 . 3/5/2004
I know he's probably not dead,
but darn it, Adam, I wept
with Cattie-brie. So real
is the grief, the lovely
lamentation of the song.
I am glad it isn't over.
But don't keep me waiting
| Icingdeath chapter 5 . 3/2/2004
YOU ARE KILLING ME HERE! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE UPDATE! (Ok yeah, I'm having withdrawl symptoms over here without a new chapter...sorry for freaking out. :D )
| gypsymaria chapter 5 . 2/7/2004
Ok, I'm back. I finished reading what you have up so far, and I have to applaud you. You write action and battle sequences beautifully, with plenty of excitement and suspense. I'm left on the edge of my seat, wondering what will happen next. Please tell me this isn't the end!
Now for a few constructive criticisms. I was somewhat distracted by the multiple spelling errors, and a few grammatical errors. Nothing that couldn't be fixed by a good beta-reader or a spellchecking session in Word.
Also, there were a few other errors that stood out as I read. Drizzt sister Vierna, which I mentioned before, for one thing.
Also, I really doubt a male, human wizard would even be able to touch a drow cleric's whip, much less wield it. The snake-headed whips turn on anyone who is not favored by Lolth, as was seen clearly when the Do'Urden family fell. Briza's own whip turned on her when she lost favor with Lolth.
Lady Alustriel is a human woman, not an elf, though she does sort of have that ethereal quality, so it could be an easy mistake to make.
In a few parts, some of the characters seemed very OOC. Now, I know everyone's interpretation of the characters is a little different, but there were certain moments when I had to re-read a section to make sure I was not mistaken in which character you were describing. Jarlaxle's unusually bloodthirsty attitude for one (he's dangerous, no doubt, but he's more opportunistic than straight-out cruel most of the time), and Drizzt's treatment of Guenwhyvar in the dragon's cave (even desperate, I don't think Drizzt would have threatened to strike her, or speak to her that way). Entreri seemed a little OOC as well (like his sudden desire to help the caravan fight the orcs, for no obvious reason), but I understand that you were trying to give him a sort of character arc, so I let that slide. Still, I doubt Entreri is the sort to go rushing into a huge melee battle without a VERY good reason. It's not really the assassin's style, from what I understand.
Other than that, though, this is really excellent fanfiction, and it shows a lot of potential. I would love to see how it ends. Please continue! _
| gypsymaria chapter 1 . 2/7/2004
A promising start, but right away I noticed an error: Drizzt's sister was named Vierna, not Vivinne. *nitpick nitpick* _
I'll have to read more before I come to any solid opinion, though. So far, your writing style is easy on the eyes and very similar to Salvatore's. Kudos!
| Still Anonymous chapter 5 . 1/28/2004
*clucks tongue sadly* Well, d'arthur, I know you're busy with college and all, and there is even a remote possibilty that you actually have a life, but how is a beta supposed to beta if she has nothing to beta? In other words, you're going to update soon, right? ;) RI-I-GHT? *pause* Oh, I get it! You're re-reading the Silmarillion so you can answer those questions! THAT'S what's taking so long! I guess in that case I will be forced to grant you pardon. Unfortunate, that. :D
| Silverbane chapter 5 . 1/24/2004
Damn, this is one of the best fictions that I have ever had the pleasure of reading. if I wasn't sure, I would have swore that I was reading RAS work. You diffently have talent for story as well as foreshadow, to set up the moment and drive it to the heart of the reader. to keep the reader on the edge of the seat and make them ride the emotional rollor costor, you have better finish this, you too good to let this story go down.
| Donaruie chapter 4 . 1/14/2004
That was really great...except for one thing, Alustriel isn't an elf, but other then that it was great and I eagerly await the next chapter :)