Reviews for Child of Erin -- a sequel to Erin
EruannaLuinil chapter 1 . 4/30/2004
::sighs:: I didn't realize that there was a sequel to your first fanfic. I left a review on that...you might want to read it because I don't feel up to repeating it all here. Your dialogue is better than the first one, as is your grammar and spelling. However, your characterization of Lupin and Seamus is still not up to par with JK's characterization.
You don't have to get rid of the pink font if you're really attached to it; if any other reviewers find this an eyesore, just highlight it. It turns to white on a blue background; not ideal, but far easier on the eyes than pink.
I will now give you a more specific tip for grammar, using one of your sentences as an example. "I was shouting now, I was so angry."
This is a run-on sentence. You could do one of several things: add a linking word such as "since," "and," "for," etc. before the comma; or, you could replace the comma with a semicolon.
Steph chapter 1 . 6/1/2003
Heather that was sad (and really, really, really interesting and well written.)I think i'm going to go cry with keith. *takes out a hankerchief*
keith chapter 1 . 5/31/2003
heather! that waz so sad! *wipes tear*
Rose-Bud chapter 1 . 4/3/2001
Bite me? Oh dear. OOOOHHHHHHHH, you killed Erin. ( There was never a meaner thing invented the killing off a person that us readers care about. I'm positive of that. ::gives Heather a broken-hearted look:: You wrote this well, though. ) O' course, what else is new?
aragog who's finally read this chapter 1 . 1/5/2001
Oh my...whoa! I feel so sorry for Seamus! Remus and Erin were such the perfect couple. *sniffles* CONTINUE! I have to find out who killed her! Make Remus and Seamus go after them! You are just the queen of the plot twist!
Meg chapter 1 . 1/4/2001
The sequel was really good and I think it brought more of a closeure to the entire story. It was really well written and I liked how the beginning was all in letters. I also like Lupin's last words and the child of mine. I don't know what else to say.
tigerlily chapter 1 . 1/4/2001
! poooor seamus:sob: oh well i never read your other story but it must have been a master piece if it was half as good as this!
Firecross the Not Signed In chapter 1 . 1/4/2001
That was very sweet... and appropriately heart-rending. Poor Remus, he just can't catch a break! Four years of waiting... and then discovering his love is dead. Lovely piece, Heather, even if I sniggered a bit at the line "I am your father." Regardless of context, it's impossible to read that line without thinking Darth Vader... and then I got to picturing Remus in a Sith Lord suit, breath mask and helmet and all... and it was pretty funny. Or maybe I should have been picturing just plain ol' wizard Remus, only with a James Earl Jones voice all of a sudden. LOL, well, one of us has had too much Huckleberry Riesling. I very much enjoyed this fic... and the whole series before it. Nice job, Heather. Keep writing.
Amethyst chapter 1 . 1/3/2001
Great job! Why did you have to kill Erin?
MarinKoholint chapter 1 . 1/3/2001
Don't bite me! Please? Anyway, jolly good story! It was a thriller! I hope you write more soon or I shall be desolate! And, why did Erin die anyway? I really liked her. She was nice! And that ending was a bit rushed. Take a tiny bit more time on the ending next time ok? ~ Marin K