|Reviews for Darkness and light|
| Belieber Twihard chapter 2 . 12/8/2012
| Brookie66 chapter 2 . 7/7/2012
I love it more please
| vampirefairy09 chapter 2 . 8/21/2011
Awesome, [;ease write more soon.
| PyroGrl94 chapter 2 . 7/5/2010
| Professor Severus Snape's Wife chapter 2 . 3/24/2010
you should update please I like this story a lot!
| Cassandra.L.Prince chapter 2 . 7/27/2007
i love it please more
| Rock and Sarcasm chapter 2 . 12/14/2003
please post the next chapter soon THANX i love this story! well ttyl BYE
| cRudEdly chapter 2 . 12/12/2003
I'm going to tell you what disturbed me most and then you can chose to ignore me or to make it better, ok?
I would be careful with the address, because if you write "Severus Snape never told her but he was pleased with the way..." it sounds a bit odd.
Like when it's something private, or from his point of view, you say Severus, when she thinks of him as a Professor, you write Snape, or Professor Snape.
Also, you should write names with a capital at the beginning of the word. That's a spelling thing, but it's a lot easier to read.
In the first chapter, you write that he gives Gryffindor points, is that right? and she isn't astonished one bit, when usually, he just takes it from them?
Generally, i think you're a bit too fast in plot. That's of course subjective now, but they just fell in love with each other, Hermione is suddenly friends with Draco... when you explain such things with one sentence, it's just not enough. Also, if you would enlarge your story, you would be able to write longer chapters.
- this was first chapter.
In the second chapter, she calls him Severus suddenly, and i think she got a bit ooc there, because that's just nothing Hermione would say.
Then, Severus answers her that he is attracted to her, and that's out of his character, too. Of course, we don't know him really, but we know for sure that he's not one who always says how he feels. I just don't think that he would tell her that so easily. but i guess that is the same thing like with the plot...
when she kisses him, you could add some feelings so easily. If you just write: then she kissed him, the reader cannot really imagine it.
Then they have sex.
I don't know if that is normal to you, but i wouldn't mind if they would wait a bit. But that's alright. It's worse that you made this graphic hint [He spread-eagled her legs with his thigh...] and then you just go back to say he gave her heaven, which is alright, because you rated it PG-13.
All in all i think it's all just too fast, and too less detailed. I don't say you cannot write, and i don't want to insult you. Probably it will help you, and if you feel offended by it anyway, and you feel the need to piss me off, feel free to write to
Have fun writing, and don't give up.
PS: is there a reason why you don't accept anonymous reviews?