Reviews for Build my Heart
TropicalRemix chapter 4 . 6/29/2016
i know it has been years but could you continue this story. I hope serena divorces her husband and gets with darien.
serenityzkiss chapter 4 . 10/19/2005
darien's in love hehe... swt...
tenshisailor chapter 1 . 8/15/2005
I like Usa/Mamo just as much as the next person...but there are some rules when having an affair outside marriage. For one, Sere thinks that the love has died out w/ David? Thats not a legit reason to hop into bed w/ Darien. If David was abusive then yes or if he was cheating ok fine, but not this.

I am sure you have seen many betrayl fics out there and most of the time its Darien having sex w/ some other girl. This is the first where Serena is the adultress. I give you 5 stars for that.

I say have Serena talk it over w/ David or work it out. If that does not work, then divorce. Then Sere can be free to be w/ Darien.
kay-pee16 chapter 1 . 8/6/2004
i'm really diggin this story! but i had a lil question. "he was nothing a third generation Canadian", is that saying something against Canadians?
Lady of Enchantment chapter 4 . 8/6/2004
That was wonderful! Update soon!
Belle chapter 4 . 8/5/2004
Nice. Are you from Vancouver or Whistler?
krys chapter 4 . 8/5/2004
ouu hehe at the end of chapter 2 u left a comment sayin that u hope it will b scandalous.. well i always say that scandalous is good i really like the story so far hope that u update soon! )
starzstruck-1 chapter 4 . 8/4/2004
aww, i really liked it! *sigh* not to mention, im in love w/ darien! lol. you really bring out a good character in him in this story.

nitengale chapter 4 . 8/3/2004
that was a great story a very big change from what I have been reading and can you please e-mail me when you update

Moongurl1221 chapter 4 . 8/3/2004
This is real good. Hopin for it to be scandalous
Moon's Rose chapter 4 . 8/3/2004
Great story so far! I can't wait to read more! Please update again soon!
Final Saturn chapter 4 . 8/3/2004
Yea! That was a good chapter, a little short. Darien is sounding kind of... obsessed.
kristenell chapter 4 . 8/3/2004
A good first few chapters, and it has all the makings for sexual tension in the future, which is always good.

There are of grammatical and spelling errors, but those could be easily fixed in proofreading. Also the story doesn't seem to smooth all the way through, it shows that later on you are getting more adept, but the story should be consistent. Also, parts of it seem rushed, and dialogue sometimes seems forced.

Also, if you are changing settings, such as from the scene with Serena and Amy to the lonely dinner with Darien, you should make it more obvious, a few spaces, or a bar that seperates them would make it easier for the reader to follow the story.

Really, your story is just a bit rough around the edges, nothing that maybe a second look or an editor can't fix.

I can't wait to see what happens next, and what sort of twists and turns you have in store.
happygolucky111 chapter 3 . 8/3/2004
Most excellent, and I'm sure that the next chapter will be even better!
aries chapter 4 . 8/3/2004
can't wait for the next update and so far this story is good oh and can u plz update ur other stories too cause i just luv them
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