|Reviews for Partners, Friends: Part One, Kurama|
| Ranuel chapter 3 . 4/12/2010
Over all this is pretty good. It makes a good filler for what happened between the time Kurama and Hiei were arrested and when they come back during the Maze Castle story. The biggest problem is the info dump in chapter one but you already know that.
Another mistake that stands out for me is having Kurama leave on Friday night. Students in Japan have to go a half day on Saturday. It would be possible to write your way out of that by having him make arrangements with the school for his "marathon training".
Once again, your characterization is very good, especially in showing Kurama's relationship with Suichi. I was surprised to see Hinageshi. You made good use of her and her different personality to flesh out Spirit Realm. Kurama negotiating Hiei's freedom has been done before but I particularly like your version. It just really seems like Kurama and how he would think.
The ending is a bit abrupt and even though I knew there was a part two and we were up to the point where the anime picks up I still wondered if this was an unfinished story for a moment.
| claustro-phobia chapter 1 . 7/11/2009
Hey, 'tis cerulean_chains of LiveJournal.
K? I NEVER read K fics as a rule, but I'm making an exception for you, so feel special.
For an old fic, and only the first chapter, consisting mostly of "The story thus far," this is very nicely written. I intend to continue reading, but for now I have to get ready for work. Blah.
| MusicForOxygen chapter 3 . 4/1/2009
Good idea! Very interesting...though I would'nt have minded if Bokuma had gotten a few cuts or bruises...what a jerk!
| Cheza the Flower Maiden chapter 3 . 6/21/2008
| ladyasile chapter 3 . 12/5/2007
hiei's funny in this chapter. i just love his sarcasm! wow, kurama's truly acting like the fox he is. cool. awesome job!
| ladyasile chapter 2 . 12/4/2007
ha! that was so awesome! kurama definately got his way! hm, i don't like bokuma very much... you did a fantastic job with this chapter!
| ladyasile chapter 1 . 12/4/2007
the beginning was wondeful! i loved kurama's little brother. so nice ad cute! Stil, having kurama go over every single thing he's done and all the memories that he can't let go off was perfect!
| Isis the Sphinx chapter 3 . 12/4/2007
Hmm...Interesting. I remember when this came out in Shonen Jump. I think I have the issues...
Nicely done from Kurama's POV. Keep writing!
| SpPandaaa chapter 2 . 9/8/2007
I like it. I'll go read the sequel now XD
| Wilted Camellia chapter 2 . 7/2/2007
Wonderful! A flawless story! You have an amazing way with words and your style is original. It's very realistic writing, and you did a splendid job of letting us readers enter the thought processes of characters. Good insight! This is a story with depth. It has vivid, descriptive details that don't make it sound like you're trying to hard or are put in as a badly written afterthought in an attempt to add something more to the story than just 'he said this, she did that, the end' like most. Also, you did an awesome job of portraying Hiei's and Kurama's friendship, a job that is seldom done well, especially while keeping the characters, well, in character. You managed to do it perfectly! You're score is 20 out of 10! ... Make that 30... 40... You get the point. Anyway, I would criticize you so you could learn from your mistakes and shortcomings to become a better writer, but there isn't really anything to say except it may be a bit, just a smidge, wordy in the first chapter at times. It may just be me though. Keep writing; I'll keep my eye out for your work. Oh, and one more thing. I recommend you try your hand at action scenes, if you haven't already (I haven't read any of your other stories, but I plan to now!). This story really only has thoughts of previous fights- none actually happen here- and I'd love to see how you'd do. A 10 out of 10, I'm guessing, if not more. Ta ta!
| MyAibou chapter 2 . 6/5/2007
I enjoyed this! I don't know YYH, so the exposition was helpful, although it was ponderous at time. (Argh, exposition is the bane of my existence... hence my sig, which I know you've seen.) ;) I think it's a good idea for long stories to introduce characters and important situations as if the reader might not be familiar with them from canon, but it is SO hard to pull off in a way that works and is not too redundant or cumbersome for those who would be familiar with them. Sadly, I don't have any suggestions in that regard. (If you figure out how to do it really seamlessly, teach me!) :)
These characters have a very nice relationship. You made me curious about them and the others from the show. Good job!
| Cheza the Flower Maiden chapter 1 . 5/30/2007
This is good so far.
| bohumut chapter 1 . 4/4/2007
i frikin loved it
| PharaonicWolf chapter 2 . 1/27/2006
Hey! I finally got around to reading another one of your stories! Yay! ...
Anyway, I loved this. I did wonder what kind of "trial" Kurama and Hiei had. You put in a huge amount of background information at the beginning (I've noticed that in "Otherworld" too), which is a little tedious for fans to read. However, I suppose it could be beneficial to people who have just started reading or watching YYH. (Like me... I'm on book eight. Kurama is freakin' sexy.)
There were a couple places where several sentences in a row started with the same word or had the same structure... I can't think of a specific example... but that was mostly in the first chapter and wasn't a major problem.
This is going on my favorites list. )
| Mischa Kitsune chapter 1 . 7/7/2005
_ It's me, Mick, from the AnimeRealm group. I loved this chapter. _ Very nice, and the grammar was excellent other than ascent being spelled assent. This chapter seemed very feasable, and I can just imagine Hiei and Kurama doing exactly what they did so far in this story. _ Talk to you later! Good job.