'Rated Scene Deleted' ...then why say anything at all?

reading this for a book club with some friends, and while the story over all is interesting, the presentation of characters is terrible. everyone is either portrayed as childish, incompetent, or a psychopath. The over use of the word "Bloody" is annoying.

I’m very close to dropping this. I get that it’s fanfic but no way does Daddy’s Boy “My Father will hear of this” Draco Malfoy ever come close to being able to compete with Harry Potter especially not one who has trained day & night for at least 3years to face off against Voldemort & WIN.
I get that you’re trying some delusional attempt at seduction but this is just ruining the story by having Draco able to fight Harry equally. It’s simply impossible based on your own stories background for the characters…..
I hope you come back and rewrite this scene because so far I’ve liked the story but this scene is just one sooo poorly done it’s completely & utterly broken my immersion & interest in the story.

what he does for her

awwww

i love drarry

the last scene is soooo crazyyy. i could nit stop to smile

I didn't see the URL, i really like this work!

Hey, your writing is amazing. I’d love to learn how to write third person like that as well as how to just write a story of that depth. I’ve tried before and it just never turns out the way that I wanted it to.

not Harriet playing matchmaker on her own wedding–

lucky for Draco ig–

Hola, buenas tardes
En que parte esta el url de la parte eliminada?
Y me encantó esta historia

First you made me sad then happy then sad again and now worried

I know she made the right choice. She can’t leave Draco and even if she’s not thrilled with bearing a child in 2 years she just can’t leave him

So sad :(