|Reviews for When Destiny Calls|
| JenB chapter 1 . 1/20/2009
Great story! I'm rereading alot of Tarzan stories and I could sware there was more to this one when I read it before. Here it ends with a beginning of Chapter 7. If there is more to this story, can you please post it? Or please send it to me at .
| shygirl901 chapter 1 . 7/18/2005
Great story so far-hope you plan to continue it. Laura-Megan Ippolito
| Tarzan Clayton chapter 1 . 1/15/2004
Hey Sarahjane. Great story. I hope tht you won't leave the story where it is, I wnat to find out what happens. I really loved the story. YOu sure know your characters. I can't wait to find out what happens when they go to court. She seems totally wrapped up in the moment, which is so like her. Thanks for creating such a good story.
| Spunkygirl3 chapter 1 . 1/7/2004
I noticed you hadn't gotten any reviews yet, and thought I'd drop you a few lines!
First of all, I really did love this! The plot is sounding interesting, with them going into pitched battle - legally - with Richard. I hope you plan on adding more chapters! It's just getting good!
Also, a few pointers and suggestions I'd like to make, just some little things that I noticed:
- You might get better acquainted with the use of commas in a sentence. This will just make some of the lines flow more naturally. This isn't a huge item, but I notice things like grammar, so it stuck out to me!
- Your portrayal of Jane wasn't quite what I got from the show, but it worked well in your story, nonetheless, so it was fine. I just got the impression - on the show - that she was more controlled, reserved, so the "darling" threw me off a bit. But for your story, it helped portray the fact that she had given up the fight and accepted her fate, and establish that she was willing to be so connected with John.
- My only other suggestion is that you utilize the chapter system when uploading the story. Having it all on one page made for one long document!
Otherwise, wonderful work! This is a nice storyline to follow, and I can imagine lots more plots coming up, fighting Richard for John's guardianship and Greystoke.
Oh! Another thing I really liked was the background history you gave on the company - from the 1880's - that was great! I love things that have such a past, it gives a story depth.
Keep up the good work!