|Reviews for InuYasha: The Love That Transcends Time|
| Blahsblah2001 chapter 9 . 9/28/2005
Hey sorry if the reviews got kinda disjointed towards the end there. I'm not that sane at night.
Not much to remark on in this chapter. Having Sesshy tell Rin a story was an excellent cure for just blatent exposition. (A thing to be avoided at all costs)
I also like how you're putting things from the movie into the story, with your own elements. It's blending canon and fanficiton, like, 'see, I was there the whole time'
| arkynox chapter 35 . 9/28/2005
Poor Flufy, he just can't win...come on they need to be bro's agine...it would be sweet!
| Blahsblah2001 chapter 8 . 9/27/2005
Yes, this kind of chapter is definitely better. A big long story about one group at a time.
I'm not switching sides here, am I? I hope not...
Anyway, it's better than a paragraph or two on each group at a time.
It's probably too late anyway, the whole story's written.
| Blahsblah2001 chapter 7 . 9/27/2005
I could probably draw him.. but it might suck, so be warned. Some of my stuff kinda does.
I like this one (DDR, a fanfiction requirement!), but it does seem like you add a new character every chapter!
| Blahsblah2001 chapter 6 . 9/27/2005
Have you noticed that people always uppercase the word Idea? It seems to be something like instinct...
Okay, from the top down...
You don't have to apologise for review-begging. Everybody does it at one point or another, and everybody who's written anything knows that feeling.
And I don't think it's random at all. It's like reading a bunch of stories at once. I would just forget about some of tehm for a while, and then kinda go back to them ten chapters later (Us? Oh, we had to... uh... save the earth real quick. Yeah, that's it)
And that definatly is Kikyo then. I thought maybe it was. Kikyo messing with death... creepy, as always.
You should go maybe into more about Morgan and his 'cleint.' There's definately soemthing big and important there. He's teh dragon tehy were telling Sesshie about. right?
ANyway, that's all I got now and you'r probably bored with hearing me talk, so until next tiem...
| Blahsblah2001 chapter 5 . 9/27/2005
I like Death, she seems like a rather.. interesting.. character. (Grins)
Was the preistess Kikyo or just some random... oh wait that's a dumb question. Nevermind.
| Blahsblah2001 chapter 3 . 9/27/2005
(Continuing to laugh)
I love your descriptions of people. I never was any good at that, but you describe them and I can see, not only what they look like, but how they carry themselves, stuff like that.
| Blahsblah2001 chapter 2 . 9/27/2005
On a scale of one to ten...
I laughed so hard. This one's a lot funnier than Two Weeks.
Must... read.. more...
| Time's mortal enemy chapter 35 . 9/26/2005
Ouch. Although this was clearly a crucial chapter, I had some very big problems with it. We'll dive right into it, since i foolishly gave my motivational speech last chapter before realizing i still had one more to read before being totally caught up. Foolish indeed, but you must understand that what i said at the beginning and end of last chapter apply equally to this chapter, and in fact to every chapter you right from here until the end of the story.
Problem number one- Dialogue!
This is the biggest one. For really the first time since the first chapter of this installment, the dialogue was choppy, poorly written, and painfully stiff. It didn't flow, it didn't instill feelings of reality, it was just all around poor. You usually are at your best in dialogue, but i won't sugar coat this. It was bad. Really, really bad.
Speaking of choppy, the entire scene ran poorly. It was off pace, bouncing back and forth so fast as to give the reader a headache. While it was still readible, and don't get me wrong, it made perfect sense, it didn't have the ease of reading that your stories usually do. It wasn't smooth. Hopefully i've explained that one enough, because i'm moving on.
Going into more trivial matters, there were several spelling errors, but those can be forgiven, seeing as you wrote this when you were tired.
This is a tough chapter for me to critique. I know that you are going to scroll back up and look at the flaming criticism i've laid out on you and will disagree, but therein lies my dillema. I have always been afraid to critique extremely substandard stories and chapters for fear that by doing so, i discourage writers, even force them to stop writing. Believe me, this is by no means my intent. The reason that I'm so extremely hard on you is because you have talent. I see a vast wellspring of potential lurking in you, just waiting to be released, and i'm making it my solemn duty to see to it that it is. You are a good writer. Scratch that, you're a GREAT writer, indeed, one of the best i've had the pleasure of knowing. Sometimes i feel that all you really need is a nudge in the right direction, and that's what people like myself, Valese, and Kaida-sama are here for. Lean on us. Bounce ideas off of us. For heavens sake, utilize the vast resources that lie before you. You have the chance to be one of the best InuYasha fanfic writers on this site, and nothing would make me happier that for that to become reality.
Sit down. Write a few chapters, a few paragraphs, whatever. Take a shower, that's where I think best. Do whatever it takes, but don't give up. The talent is there, now all that remains for you to do is to use it.
Watching your ideas become reality,
| Time's mortal enemy chapter 34 . 9/26/2005
Ah hah! I finally found another chapter. After far too long a wait, at long last there is something for me to review! This is a great moment in my life.
And i need to get out more.
Good for you, thought, getting it together and updating. I, if no one else, understands completely the tragedy it is when the motivation to write, indeed, the joy in the very act of writing vanishes. Sometimes you feel like you just want to give up on the fic, but that would only compound the problem by making you feel guilty. It truly is an issue that I think all writers must put up with. Therefore, three and a half, no, make it four cheers for the all knowing and all powerful Kaida-sama for doing what i and all your other reviewers should have done long ago, which would be mugging you until you had absolutely no choice BUT to continue. Four cheers indeed, and our everlasting gratitude.
Anyways, because you updated, here is your much deserved review, which I dedicate to your own dear friend, Kaida-sama.
Right from the start, this chapter opens up with the almost extraordinarily cliche waking up next to each other with no idea of what happened the night before. It's a wonderful plot device, don't get me wrong, but it's been used so often as to severly lessen the impact that it has on the reading audience. It just isn't a fresh idea anymore. Regardless, it's a scene that works, in it's own right, but next time you could perhaps try to go a fresher, more deliberately unique route. Have them play chess or something.
The next comment I would like to make is a little more upbeat. You made me laugh. While you, perhaps, may be thinking 'so what', you must understand that I rarely laugh when reading any writing of any kind. Television yes, writing, no. So, when I laugh, it is certainly cause for the author to celebrate a very successful passage in their story, one that, hopefully, was intended to be funny. In this case, what made me laugh was not something IN the story, but rather something that was wisely left out; Miroku being bashed by every other character in the camp. It's a good writer who can tell a story by leaving things out, and this is something that you managed to acheive here. Very well done indeed.
My next point, and the one that is ever so much more appreciated is, YAY! KOHAKU'S BACK IN THE STORY AGAIN!
The way that you keep him around is ingenious. Far too often, authors kill him off or give him back his memories, but in your case, you did neither. You gave him a unique position of power in your story that lacks in many others. Instead of the minor character pawn of evil individuals, he is a major and integral part of your plot, something for which i am eternally in your debt. I have said it once, and i'll say it again. I do not think that Kohaku gets his due in the series. He could have held a far more vital role in the storyline if the writers would just have let him have it.
Next, Sesshoumaru, one of the characters i wish would go away already. Unfortunatly, he too seems to hold a very prominent positon in your plans for this story, so i don't suppose he'll be killed off any time soon. That would be, of course, too much to hope for. Very well done in keeping Inuyasha in character regarding Sesshie. You've kept his reactions very true to his canon, so that is certainly something to be proud of. However, I feel that it should certainly be noted that he has clearly matured, and no longer seeks battle without regard to consequence. He now is able to recognize what's best for his companions, and now posseses the presence of mind to bring it about.
I continue to like the interaction between Rin and Sesshoumaru.
Morgan still makes me smile, from time to time. A wonderful parody based character indeed.
Well, that was a marathon. I do indeed hope that the length of this review doesn't bother you. I found this chapter to be rather good, without nearly the number of glaring errors in previous ones. This could be easily one of your better chapters, so you should be proud of the accomplishment. However, don't grow lazy. The only way that you'll regain the joy you have in writing is if you continue to do so. If you stop, if you allow yourself to slack off, you won't be able to recapture the spirit that made me enjoy two weeks so much, even in spite of the horrific number of errors. Whether your story is good or bad doesn't matter. What matters is that you enjoy writing, and you have the opportunity to share that joy and pleasure with other people. You have an obligation to yourself, if not to those who enjoy your work to continue. Don't give up. After so much work, quiting would be very ill advised. Fight through the mundane, terrible monotony of everyday life. Live out your fantasies on paper, if nowhere else. And remember, we'll be there beside you every step of the way.
I, for one, wouldn't miss this experience for the world.
Signing off now, but reading over your shoulder always,
| ScratchDevious chapter 35 . 9/15/2005
Ack! I love your work...
I just wanted to point out thought that the story summary says "enfulge" instead of engulf"...
Your work is amazing!
| C.T.L-Shadow chapter 1 . 9/1/2005
| QueenKagome4ever chapter 35 . 8/17/2005
I would most deffently have to say your stories are quite intesting. I have read both stories within four days, and slightly confused on a few aspects. Such as I understand the time span that you placed the plot, but it also seems to me that you are using latter personal emotions between alot of the main charaters in the wrong place. But at the same time you have managed to pull it into the story quit efficantly. Althought the one person that seems to be rather most out of charater in how you protay is Rin, she is no more than 12 years old at most and the way you discribe betrays the time seating you gave your story. Non the less, I did enjoy your story, and looking foward to the compleation of it where every it might lead.
| TaintedDarkInuShemeeko chapter 35 . 8/11/2005
Wow this chapter was awesome. Sorry it took me so long to read it. I'm interested to see what happens next.
| MoonKitii chapter 35 . 8/8/2005
Oh, I am much much glad that I found your sotyr... :) it is very very good. makes me happy when I find somthing well written. I hope you post more soon...on my way to check out your story...