|Reviews for Saying Goodbye|
| gLo chapter 1 . 1/10/2004
wwaahah! so sad! *sob* good job tho! but soo sad *waahh*
| Hermi chapter 1 . 1/9/2004
If you want feedback, I found I couldn't stop myself from getting incredibly annoyed at Charlotte. She struck me as impulsive and yes, selfish. Readers (or maybe just me) can't feel sympathy for characters making this type of decision if they arrive just in time to catch a glimpse of the bitter end of the process. We/I have no reason to care about Charlotte other than she's Remus Lupin's mother. I don't think your descriptions do what must have been a long and hideously complex story justice - "She had always been a patient and long-suffering woman." What? I see no evidence of patience from any of her actions. "He was a human, and had plenty of faults." What? Which ones? How? "He was a good father." We've never seen him with the kids. We have no idea what this means. Remember that old maxim? Show, don't tell.
People get out of the habit of remembering this with fanfic. Harry Potter, for instance, is a character we already know intimately from reading J.K. Rowling's novels. So a person writing about him can quickly remind readers "Harry had always been brave", and readers don't mind so much, because they can remember reading about countless incidents in which Harry was brave. But with your own original characters, even if they're related to someone from canon, that technique doesn't work.
This story could have been beautiful and heartbreaking if you'd started it earlier. Let us get to know Charlotte and Jacob, or we won't find it easy to care about either of them. Alternatively, you could have taken out the attempt at backstory altogether and written a breathtaking drabble - a snapshot of a soul in the action of making a terribly painful decision. But as it is, Saying Goodbye wobbles feebly between the two, and falls flat.
W00t... I honestly didn't know I had the literary critic gene in me. Incidentally, I feel a little bit hypocrital writing this. Nothing I've ever written is as good as I'm telling you your work should be. But y'know. You asked.
| Auto chapter 1 . 1/9/2004
You know I -heart- this so very much.. and a reunion story WOULD be cute, sometime.