Reviews for Unwanted
Scarlet chapter 10 . 3/8
This is amazing. Update please!
Evenhatecanlove chapter 10 . 8/24/2016
It was such a great story why did you stop? Do you have writer's block?
Evenhatecanlove chapter 10 . 8/24/2016
Loves it thought it feels like your never going to make another chapter are you?
Anna chapter 10 . 1/22/2016
Omg, why did you stop
chicamarioneta chapter 10 . 1/10/2016
you're a great writer but did not like the end, I did not want to vegeta died, I wanted at the end was happy with bulma and trunks, I feel very frustrated, wish there was a sequel in which he resurrects or something, i did not seem fair that he dies , he had changed, ah! I am so angry!
ImJustAFangirl chapter 10 . 6/22/2015
I finished reading this story on media miner as well. Like dragonbabezee, I have to say this story was very unsatisfying. It leaves a lot of unanswered questions that I feel could have been resolved if there was just one more chapter. Don't get me wrong, you're a very talented author, but I felt as if the story was a little anti-climatic. While reading I couldn't wait to get to the ending because finally, maybe some of my questions would be answered. But truthfully, the ending left me with even more questions than answers. Even though this story was unfulfilling, it still wasn't bad, so I tip my hat to you.
ShiftersFate chapter 10 . 11/20/2013
Why did you have to stop here?!
dragonbabezee chapter 10 . 6/26/2013
Obviously I read the rest of the story on media miner.

Wow, I feel pretty torn by this story. I was loving it; it was sad but hopeful and full of tension until the second half of the last chapter. And then I was sitting there thinking "What, no way, she can't be about to end it like I think she is! Surely there's a sequel planned." And then I got to The End and I was pretty pissed off to tell you the truth. It's not that a story can't have an unhappy ending. It's not that *this* story couldn't have had an unhappy ending. It's that the ending you wrote did not give me, the reader, a satisfying resolution to the mountains of tension you built up. Just as bad, it wound down so abruptly and without a strong sense of tragedy or deep reaction from Bulma that it felt like while you were writing you saw the finishing line and sprinted to get it over with.

Essentially you had written a romantic suspense story. The changing relationship of the characters was the sole focus of the story, and the the attraction between them that was always present, though very suppressed to begin with. From about halfway through the story it was obvious that they were in love, and only self-deception was keeping them from admitting it to themselves. By the closing chapters they had both pretty much privately admitted themselves that they love the other, and the only barrier to their happiness is telling each other the same, and Bulma coughing up her secret. By that point the fact that they haven't is becoming a bit ludicrous and the tension overwhelming, but following that it is romantic suspense we expect that the sweet revelation and release of tension is coming soon (Bulma's denial in particular is hard to swallow as she SEES that he loves her through his actions a couple of times, and then pushes it away in favour of Kakarott, someone she is also denying no longer has any spark for her, nor she for him, but like I said, these levels of wilful ignorance are forgiveable knowing that resolution is around the corner). But instead Vegeta is killed before that happens.

It would have been SO much a better ending if, when he confronted her in the room at Toma castle, that they had hashed it out, realised that they did love each other, and that they would get through this. It's that release point that this story is missing, the moment when all the cards are on the table and the characters see the truth. Then you could have gone on to kill Vegeta if you must. It would have still been a tragedy, but it wouldn't have been an unsatisfying one. I remained dry eyed while I read it. Other chapters got me more emotional than the last one, and I felt depressed rather than sad at the outcome. I know you have it in you to do better than that. Heck, I cried reading the prologue for Surviving Together: A New Legacy! If I'd been Bulma, and Kakarott told me what he'd done at the end I would have wanted to scratch his eyes out at the least! He just admitted that he had betrayed her, killed her husband, who she just realised she might love, and father of her child, was trying to woo her into a loveless marriage while he was already married to someone he did love, thereby ruining her chances of real happiness...Kakarott's sins went on an on. I know he was blackmailed, but he didn't go out of his way to find a noble way out of his problem. Heck, if he was as noble as cannon Goku he would have killed himself instead of Vegeta during that stand off at the end. Seripa would have had no leverage on him once he was dead! And then she would have let Chichi go as she was no use to her.

If this instead was meant to be an allegory about damning your best chances of happiness with selfish, stupid acts then I don't think the story failed on that account too, because Bulma was just not that broken. The way you played it, the damage done to her heart and psyche was not insurmountable.

Anyway, don't get me wrong. I still LOVED the story to that point. I shall choose to believe that since Vegeta's body was not found that there was a sequel you never got around to writing. After all, you finished Surviving Together with their parting forever, and Surviving Together: A New Legacy with Bulma's undeniable death, and then they still got their happy ending by the end of Retribution.

Sorry if this comes across as flaming. I finished this story two days ago, and I can't stop thinking about it. You achieved that at least. It was not the least bit forgettable. I just needed to let out everything I was thinking about the ending. If you still check your fan fic reviews (and I hope you do) and you read this and it pisses you off, sorry. Feel free to write a pissy PM back to me. I would love it if you did actually. I've heard that people have been trying to encourage you back into the BV fan fiction fold. There's a google community called We're Just Saiyan which is kind of abuzz with activity, and authors coming back from the dead, so to speak, cause a lot of excitement, especially one with such loved stories as yours.
dragonbabezee chapter 10 . 6/23/2013
Oh my god woman, this was one of the most highly charged scenes I have ever read! I do hope you still check your reviews must read the next chapter now, even though it's one thirty inthe morning!
dragonbabezee chapter 8 . 6/23/2013
Meurh! Even though I know it won't end badly, I can't stand this heartbreak along the way. Make it stop!
dragonbabezee chapter 6 . 6/23/2013
Oh the tension! God damn it you'll have me as frustrated as Vegeta! Arrgggghhhhhh!
dragonbabezee chapter 5 . 6/22/2013
Ah, so we finally have the full story of that night. And it was not quite as bad as I was beginning to wonder. I'm glad that you had Bulma's feelings about it be more complex than just blaming Vegeta entirely. She did enjoy herself, to her shame. It is a horrible scenario you built. Being exploited by an older man that you fancied...turning something that should have been wonderful into something broken on delivery. And Vegeta, if he hadn't been so selfish and incognisant of his own feelings could have courted her and got himself a willingly bride, but he had to serve the needs of his body first.
XTheGovernmentKillsVickiX chapter 10 . 11/21/2012
update pleaseee! i love it I also love triangles!
Breezybiatch chapter 10 . 6/22/2012
Did the rest of the chapters get errased? I remember reading the ending long ago, but it's not here :(
Muffinmini chapter 1 . 8/19/2011
I a bit upset vegeta died in the end. I read the whole story in a another fanfiction web suit it comea sad that trunks ever get a chance to real know i real enjoy it.
323 | Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »