|Reviews for Broken Dreams|
| Ellsie chapter 3 . 6/8/2004
So are you continuing the story? Because all though not everyone reviews their are more than ten people who care about your story, but they are just too lazy to tell you so.
| Chikyuu-Defender-Beyblader chapter 2 . 4/25/2004
Hi. I really loved this chappie. Glad to see Sirius back. He's such a great character! Please update soon.
| Me chapter 2 . 4/23/2004
Awesome! Nice, intriguing storyline so far, great grammar/spelling, wonderful formatting, no/very little OOC-ness... Please continue!
| tennisplaya278 chapter 2 . 4/23/2004
sorry bout the flame but this a REALLY good story! i want to hear more! WHATS GOING ON WITH SIRIUS! sorry...so update soon! and i won't EVER R&C&B! well i don't think i will..;)
| vellongria chapter 1 . 3/12/2004
I really like it so far.! the idea that draco could end up being a good guy is really neat!
| Mary Sue Eater chapter 1 . 1/17/2004
This is a run-of-the-mill plot. Hermione as Head Girl, Draco as Head Boy, the outcome is as predictable as what comes after night. Anyway, you could turn the tides by inserting some of your own original ideas. Suggestions include:
1. Draco and Hermione decide to be friends, but he ends up betraying her trust.
2. Hermione finds another being to shower her affections on (as if this is going to happen)
3. Harry discovers hidden feelings for his best friend, and gives Draco a good rivalry.
Your description is commendable, but there're some inaccuracies as well. Erratums include:
1. Hermione's "sleek brown hair". Why is it that every single Danielle Steele wannabe starts his/her story with a sudden alteration in Hermione's DNA? If you must give her silky smooth hair, at least elaborate more (ie: how did she come to acquire straight locks. Hair rebonding? Or perhaps a pint of hair cream)
2. OOC. Ron would NEVER snog Padma. His feelings for Hermione, although vague and reluctant, is still very much present. Perhaps you should state that this is an AU, where nothing can go wrong.
3. "Silver eyes". Now, have you *ever* seen anyone with eyes the colour of quicksilver? Try *grey* instead. That's what Rowling did. Creativity musn't be curbed, but illogical-ness ought to be hindered.
| gazy chapter 1 . 1/16/2004
i like it...u have a good writing style and the way u elaborate on things makes the story enjoyable. i also like how u describe hermy's feelings and how she's upset..happy...scared..surprised...she's a mixed up gal!
i was just wondering...y did draco..thats who she's in the arms of...have her in his arms? lolz...confusing, i no, but y wouldn't he just push her aside and say sumthhing smart about her being muggle-born...just make sure the storee doesn't go way too fast..kk?
can u read ma fanfic called 'Feelings' by me, 'gazy' and ma other one that isn't as good called 'Things Have Changed' also by me.
| Elluxion chapter 1 . 1/16/2004
This one's got a lot of potential... I like your writing, crisp and clear-cut, but conveying the whiff of the setting and feelings to us. And I liked the somewhat-D/H bit, too. D Ron/Padma? Ah well, better than most, really... P
*hopes there will be a tad of Harry/Ginny into the bargain*
| Malfodax chapter 1 . 1/16/2004
Brilliant! Please update soon! I loved your use of description! Truly amazing!
| becca chapter 1 . 1/15/2004
o, sounds pretty interesting. I like your summery, that's what pulled me in. Keep it up, I wanna read more.