|Reviews for Golden Sun: A New Evil Has Risen|
| Trixie's girl chapter 3 . 10/20/2005
WHY WAS DA MOB CHASING FELIX AND SHEBA
| abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz chapter 3 . 4/5/2005
| adbnzghxzcvgxcghvxcghvdfjgdfsds chapter 3 . 4/3/2005
PS: YOU SUCK!
| Miharu-san chapter 1 . 5/4/2004
Look, look over here!
It's me! You know.
Jessica? D ;;
SEE, I'm going to -review- it, and I bet you won't even notice.
You have lots..and lots of exclamation points. o_o; It boggles the mind, yessir. Chapters are a lot shorter than I've read in usual fanfiction. I don't know Golden Sun at all..lalala, -but-, I will say that the characters all seem to act the same. Mm, lots of dialogue, not necessarily a bad thing, but adding a bit more description of the actions and surroundings would be cool.
And that's it.
See, I put thought into it! Reward me with chocolate! x3 Nestle please. *squiggles away.* hohohoho~~
| Angel Nina chapter 3 . 2/22/2004
I though that was really good update soon please!
| Angel Nina chapter 2 . 2/22/2004
lol that was funny(mobs ha!)
| bladegryphon chapter 3 . 2/3/2004
Can't see why you'd expect flames. It moves a bit fast, but other than that, it's quite good so far! Update soon.
| Kevin C chapter 3 . 2/3/2004
Pretty good so far! Definetely above average... especially the Alex battle, with Garet messing up... Keep up the good work!
| Destinyofthepast chapter 3 . 2/2/2004
I'm sorry that I was rude last review, I was just trying to point out some things that you might want to take into mind. Here also.
a) .'..very vines and dirt of the earth imprison you! Ground! Trap this fool in a case of earth!"
Vines and dirt began to trap Alex, imprisoning hem...' I didn't do that to emphasise the spelling mistake. _ It's a bit boring to say that twice.
b) Talk about cliched plot! Of course, if you make a few twists it could be different from the hundred others. Try to do so in future chapters.
c) Hmm... I don't like it that Alex complements the crew almost everytime he attacks, ie. Good good, nice nice, etc etc. That get repetious too. In fact, the battle gets boring near the end, too.
d) Hmm... this chapter *is* longer than last time, but not by much. I'm not saying you should increase your chapter length by that much, but take a look around. Consider how long chapters other authors write, and take your guidelines from there.
All considered, this is better than last chapter. A little bit. Now, don't consider this *glares at other reviewers* a flame. It's constructive criticism. Don't worry. You'll get used to it (and i don't mean that you'll always get flames/this. I mean that every author sort of takes the first criticism personally and then they try to consider what they are saying and use it to make their fic better. Now don't listen to flamers, ie. 'this storee sucKs i hat e it take it of da site!1!' They're idiots. Now, DO listen to consturctive critcisers. Heck, I've got at least 10 flames altogether in three stories. -_-) OOps. I was rambling on. Sorry. Now, update soon! And don't worry. Everyone has to start somewhere.
*Big rubber stamp of okness*
| At the mercy of irony chapter 2 . 1/26/2004
Psynergy -not psyenergy
Isaac -not Issac
OOCness in Mia (she wouldn't yell without good reason and I doubt she would get into a random fight)
Chapters way way way too short
Dialogue too... I don't know... is controlled the word I'm looking for? (Oh, hi Jenna. I'm just walking down to the entrance to Vale)
Are you getting to Smokeshipping? Now, that's a problem in itself. _
Other than that, it's not *that* bad. Keep going.
*Big rubber stamp of okness*
| insaneody chapter 2 . 1/26/2004
2 words: Too short!
Not only this story isn't developed but the plot is lacking. What the hell is going on? Your character development is ok but expand on it more. Plot is your friend and you must explain either with narration or dialogue. Normally I'm nice in my reviews but today isn't the day. Sorry you got caught in the wrong side of my flame.
| Anzu Rose chapter 2 . 1/26/2004
Sorry... but this is the sad truth. This isn't verry good. The chapters are way to short, you don't have the personalitys very well, and it's just not good. I would sugjet reading some more fics to get a better feel for the charechters.