|Reviews for The Big Quarrel|
| Guest chapter 32 . 11/19
The next day, Cera woke up with her head aching from all of the smashing it had taken the day before. She wailed as she felt her head. Cera walked to the water and looked at herself as she ran her hands over her head. The shape of the triceraptops head looked strange to many other kinds of dinosaurs. It reminded her of yesterday's incident and caused her to grow angry at the them including her vitriolic friends, especially Little-foot and Ali. "Here here little princess. I have your breakfast, specially prepared for a poor little trice-pratops who had a rough day. This is a small feast, prepared just for you, Cera." It was her servant bringing her a grand breakfast.
Cera said nothing, but continued to glare at her head in the water wondering if her former friends really thought that about her. "Cera ... Come and get your delicious meal." She gently pushed Cera as she walked her over to the meal. "NO! I DON'T WANT THIS! GET OUT!" Cera furiously exploded with pure rage at the top of her lungs. "But Cera, the others and I spent all morning preparing this for you. You looked so tired when you arrived back from yesterday. What happened yesterday, Cera?" "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! GET THIS OUT OF HERE!" Cera motioned for the servants to remove the feast from her chamber. They looked at each other puzzled. One feed Cera. "You love our meals, Cera." She said. "Here it is comes ... open wide ... just take small little bites–" Cera yelled. "I SAID TAKE IT AWAY!
| LBTLuver chapter 32 . 3/15
Not sure if you ever plan to continue this but if you are, please make sure you format your paragraphs properly. It is a massive turn off to readers and you've gone through at least 30 chapters doing this format, it isnt easy on the eye.
| srx chapter 32 . 2/23/2013
r u gonna add anothr chapter?
| Heritor chapter 1 . 7/20/2009
You set the stage for your story well, though a little grammar editing would improve the readability. I’m not a professional writer, but if I may offer a suggestion to how this was written, I suggest this:
A long, long time ago, when the Earth was still young, millions of years before the first human set foot on it, it looked very different than it does today. The giant woods that grew everywhere would never be seen by a human eye. The continental plates were in permanent motion, which could not only push mountains up toward the sky nearly overnight, but also make them vanish in the same amount of time.
In the midst of this strange, constantly-changing world lived the great lizards, the dinosaurs, in the not-always-friendly environment. Most of them found nourishment with leaves, while the others, the sharpteeth, nourished themselves on the leaf-eaters. They hunted wherever the leaf-eaters were, except in one place- the Great Valley. Many different races of leaf-eaters could live there peaceful together.
Sometimes, dinosaurs of different races became inseparable friends. An excellent example would be that of: Littlefoot the longneck, Cera the threehorn, Ducky the swimmer, Petrie the flyer, and Spike the spiketail. Nobody could remember such a mixed group of dinosaurs holding together so strongly before. Contact between different races was more frequent in the Great Valley than anywhere else; the friendship there was something special. Nothing has been able to spoil such a friendship. That is, until the events of this story…
I like the prologue. It does well in setting up the background that the chapters will amplify. You set up a general time period, millions of years ago from today, as well as geographical features such as woods and mountains. You even went into detail on the scientifics of continental plates, explaining their power in both creation and destruction. After presenting the land, you explained its inhabitants, the dinosaurs.
An easy-to-understand food chain was given, which served to distinguish the characters into two groups: those who lived on vegetation, and those who survived off meat. After setting up the diet of the creatures, you went into something deeper- the bonds they share with each other. Now the readers can know that they aren’t all ravenous beasts, but animals with feeling that band together as friends. You even took the time to list the details of a prevalent group of them.
You also drew attention to something unique about them. You made it clear that these were just your average buddies. They were more closely knit than any other mixed group of dinosaurs that anyone could remember. Such a thing was wise to point out, as readers tend to retain interest with characters that are special, unrelated to the majority. You finished the prologue very well. You announced that something is going to happen that has yet to happen before. Now we readers can read on in anticipation that something previously unheard of is going to take place to the characters, an exciting prospect. I must say, you did a fine job in making your story’s background.
| Jedi472 chapter 26 . 4/26/2008
Hey. Are you ever going to finish this? I sorta liked it...
| threehorn fanatic chapter 32 . 11/13/2007
I really like this story.I wonder what will happen to she really get banished from her herd? Please keep writing. You might want to use more paragraphs and do a spelling check as well.
| heartsinlove51 chapter 1 . 5/25/2007
cool this is one of my fave
| SodiumMan chapter 1 . 3/29/2007
yea...needs some paragraphing, and PLEASE fix your tenses. you keep switching from present to past to future.
| marinefan123 chapter 3 . 12/19/2005
Hey, good story. I like it.
| naturalist chapter 1 . 12/16/2004
Something just occurred to me...why would Ali be in the Land of Mists? Notice at the beginning of LBT IV, Ali's herd all refuse to return to the Land of Mists to help Grandpa. Quote: "I'm not going back there!"
| most extreame priness chapter 5 . 11/7/2004
boy littlefoot's being stubborn as a mule. or na lab whichever you can think of.
| naturalist chapter 32 . 10/23/2004
I wish you would separate the paragraphs.
I also notice that your English is very unconventional. It must not be your first language.
However, aside from that, it's a good story.
| Kutoja chapter 32 . 6/28/2004
_PLEASE_ do something about the formatting! I can't even READ half of what you wrote because it's all in one massive paragraph! Start a new paragraph every time a new person starts to speak, and divide paragraphs with a double ENTER.
The story will be a LOT easier to read, and you might get even more reviews. (If you only press ENTER once, will leave it in a massive paragraph, making it impossible for someone with weak eyes or a squint to read.)
| Green Dragon SWBF chapter 19 . 4/22/2004
This isn't good. Looks like I was right about the peace not lasting! Now what's gonna happen?
| Green Dragon SWBF chapter 16 . 4/18/2004
Things are peaceful at the moent, but peace never lasts long for Littlefoot and his friends! Nice job!